This Has A Lot of Anger.

Somehow I keep thinking
About the things that you have said
They make me want to remember
All the memories I have of us.
Standing forward beneath
All hell broke loose
But now you won’t even look at me.
You used to stare at me like I was the only one.
You used to talk to me like I was your only friend
You made me feel…so in love with you.

Sometimes I think I fell way to hard
And I know it’s true
That I fell to the ground for you
Crashing down, I’ve been through too much.

Inching my way back over you
Is harder then I thought
Hardly anymore I can ignore your name
Yet I’m sitting here, playing your little mind game.

WHY CAN’T I HATE YOU?

Why can’t I leave it at that?
But every time I think of you
The hole burns open and exposes

What if I had just asked sooner?!
Why didn’t I
Just kiss you and ask you
And live happily ever after?

Why did you have to ruin everything?
I thought that I was special!
I thought that you were different!
But then you had to be a JACKASS!
And ask another girl out!
But what about me?!
What happened to the things you said to me?
And then you try and say sorry
Like you were fucking innocent!
And then, after I still wasn’t over you,
You teased me like I was!
(Taken advantage of!)
And even after all of this,
After 30 days away from your kiss
It’s only been a month
And you’re still a
JACKASS.

Because it’s only been LESS then a month
And you’re falling for a slut
She’s probably a lesbian anyways!
Why the hell do you always do this?

Because you’re a fucking JACKASS.

And that’s all you’ll ever be!
Unless you clean up, and get over yourself!

She’s just a dyke
Who’s been in fights
And doesn’t respect anyone
And she’ll just use you.
Maybe you’ll know how it feels
And maybe I won’t be here when you get back
And, no, I’m not going to be over you.

But I’m determined to make you
Feel the way I did!
Because you’re just a stupid
You’re just a stupid
JACKASS.

Why don’t you just ask her out
See if I even care!
Why don’t you just kiss her!
And run your fingers through her hair!
Just like you did to me!
But wait!
You never even asked me in the first place!

BUT CAN’T I JUST HATE YOU?!

You’re just the boy next door
Screwing over girls
Then leaving them wanting more!
“This is for all the girls who were used by this guy!
He has a way with liking us
Telling everyone we are going out
Looses interest,
And then finds some other girl!”

God, I’m so humiliated!
Why didn’t I just listen?
Is 30 days really that long?

Okay, maybe I fell to hard
But how can you blame me?
When I did nothing wrong?
I knew about your past
I knew the pain was coming
Then why did I just let it happen?
Why did I go anyway?

Then why do I feel so guilty?
Just because I didn’t snog you?
Was that why you screwed me over?
Is that why I can’t have you?
Because you make me feel so wrong
What about the whole respect thing?

So what if I’m not ready
Maybe it was my common sense
Actually telling me something good

I’m glad I never made out with you
Because that would’ve been my first
And because it would have hurt worse
After you’d leave.
I’m still feel like I’d still have you
If I would’ve made out with you

I fell for the basic reasons
The hair
The girl pants
The drums
The emo center.
Is that what ever other girl wanted?

Didn’t you ever think that I was different?
You knew I’d be better
Then those sluts that used you too
But then…
You used me.

JACKASS.

So now, I’m stuck here
Mixed with feelings that I can’t even explain.

Anger
Confusion
Guilt
Love
Hate
Sadness
Happy
Relieved
Depressed again.
Unwanted.
Stressed

JACKASS.


Yeah. It started off as a poem, then it was a song, now it kinda just is really long and expressive. I had to let my angr and feelings out somehow. Writing is the only way I know how. Thanks, if you read it. It just seems that once you type something, and then you put it somewhere where other peope read it, it's like a form of communication and it makes the weight on your shoulders 100% lighter...