Daddy doesn't want me.
Honestly, I would like to have that one person in my life that I could be best friends with. Someone to teach me how to drive, tell me those "when I was your age" stories, or just playfully pull some wrestling moves on me while I'm outside and he comes home from work. I want a father who will take the time to know me. Someone I can go to for advice that will be extremely terrible, but full of effort. Someone who cares. Who loves me.
My father, Shawn or Sean, I'm not exactly sure (which is definitely not good), barely even knows who I am. He knows I exist, here on this planet. He knows that I live close to him, but he doesn't take the time to see me. I have seen him.. maybe once or twice in my life. When I was seven, I met him for the first time. All that I remember from this night was that I looked exactly like him, he didn't say a word to me, and he definitely didn't show me that he cared at all that I was his child. Being young, you can't take the feeling of being unloved that well. Hell, you can't stand that feeling whatever age you are.
I was born when my mom was nineteen and barely ready to have a child. Especially since HE left her. But my grandma decided to support her and help take care of me. I grew up being well taken care of for the most part, but my mom was still young and hot-tempered. So I got hit. A lot. The reasons, I didn't remember well. But around the time I started going to kindergarten, it stopped. So, my mom met a guy named Carlos. My current dad who adopted me and I now share a last name with. I'm pretty sure he is almost 30 now, but he treated me like I was his own. But of course, he ended up cheating on my mother and got thrown out of the house.
So who was my daddy now? What was I supposed to do with the lack of testosterone in the family? A few years went by until my mom met my stepdad, Paul. My best friend in the entire world. He would play video games with me and I would always drag him to the pool to go swimming with my sister and I. He was one of the most friendly, funny human beings you could come in contact with. His sisters too, who are around my age. But of course, with my luck, he also ended up cheating on my mom and he got thrown out as well.
The next male up to bat? Art. He happens to be dating my mother at this very moment. I severely hate this man. This is the kind of person who is just rude, disgusting, and downright annoying. All he does is watch movies all day, burp and fart in my presence, and yell in my ear when I am right next to him. Not only this, but he calls me "Kid" as if I were born without a name. How long as he been here? Since August. I'm sure that's about long enough to know I have a damn name, wouldn't you think so? And the jokes he makes. I don't even want to discuss them. I didn't think someone like this could ever invade my life, and I really hope he doesn't marry my mom, or else I will go completely insane.
Anyways, to sum up this long blog, I am currently fatherless and wishing someone could care for me as my father should have. My mom is amazing and I love her, but of course, I need someone of the male species to guide me through my life, teach me new things and stay with me through my downfalls.
My father, Shawn or Sean, I'm not exactly sure (which is definitely not good), barely even knows who I am. He knows I exist, here on this planet. He knows that I live close to him, but he doesn't take the time to see me. I have seen him.. maybe once or twice in my life. When I was seven, I met him for the first time. All that I remember from this night was that I looked exactly like him, he didn't say a word to me, and he definitely didn't show me that he cared at all that I was his child. Being young, you can't take the feeling of being unloved that well. Hell, you can't stand that feeling whatever age you are.
I was born when my mom was nineteen and barely ready to have a child. Especially since HE left her. But my grandma decided to support her and help take care of me. I grew up being well taken care of for the most part, but my mom was still young and hot-tempered. So I got hit. A lot. The reasons, I didn't remember well. But around the time I started going to kindergarten, it stopped. So, my mom met a guy named Carlos. My current dad who adopted me and I now share a last name with. I'm pretty sure he is almost 30 now, but he treated me like I was his own. But of course, he ended up cheating on my mother and got thrown out of the house.
So who was my daddy now? What was I supposed to do with the lack of testosterone in the family? A few years went by until my mom met my stepdad, Paul. My best friend in the entire world. He would play video games with me and I would always drag him to the pool to go swimming with my sister and I. He was one of the most friendly, funny human beings you could come in contact with. His sisters too, who are around my age. But of course, with my luck, he also ended up cheating on my mom and he got thrown out as well.
The next male up to bat? Art. He happens to be dating my mother at this very moment. I severely hate this man. This is the kind of person who is just rude, disgusting, and downright annoying. All he does is watch movies all day, burp and fart in my presence, and yell in my ear when I am right next to him. Not only this, but he calls me "Kid" as if I were born without a name. How long as he been here? Since August. I'm sure that's about long enough to know I have a damn name, wouldn't you think so? And the jokes he makes. I don't even want to discuss them. I didn't think someone like this could ever invade my life, and I really hope he doesn't marry my mom, or else I will go completely insane.
Anyways, to sum up this long blog, I am currently fatherless and wishing someone could care for me as my father should have. My mom is amazing and I love her, but of course, I need someone of the male species to guide me through my life, teach me new things and stay with me through my downfalls.
Comments
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My father ditched my mom because she would not abort me. It is hard but I think you can get through it :)
Lovely_Gore, April 4th, 2008 at 10:04:09am
dont worry you are not the only one my dad hates me because im more like my mom ......... and also he hurted me a lot he is a f*cker i hate him he took off my chilhood
any one cares, September 2nd, 2007 at 03:56:46am
i would adopt you...except for the fact I can't, and you're older than me, and you live in another country, and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't wanna be adopted by me.
trust me =].
you've still turned out okay for a young adult(?)who's never had a father.
Blessed Catastrophe, June 14th, 2007 at 11:50:25pm
i have a father..
but the onlytimehe talks to me he either yells atme or just tease me and call me bad names.
it reallyhurts.
like my friends are all close with their dad.
my dad didnt even wish me a happy birthday!
but i hope you find a good father figure someday,
you deserve one.
everyone should.
=]
Slackerbitch, May 26th, 2007 at 11:59:57am
First of all you're going through something that no child (sry to say "child") should. I totally understand you. *hugs*
but you don't need a "father" to have someone who guides you like a father. Maybe you have any older male friends, uncles, or neighbours to look up to. And yeah, try getting back into contact with Carlos.
If you feel like tlaking, I'm here. (:
Love, May 25th, 2007 at 10:46:34am
you dont need a dad =] you have a mum, right? and you got frends? well you got frends on here. my dad lives with us, but hes always too busy to chat.
you dont need a c*nt who ignores you to be your dad anyway, bloods nothing compared with love. my sisters not related to me but shes the best sister a girl could wish for =]
my xbfs mum left when he was small... coz she had him at 17 and felt like he life was a dead end apparently. hes okay. youlll be fine.
Lyddy r teh Snaily, May 25th, 2007 at 05:21:41am
A fatherly figure doesn't have to be someone who's really older than you. It can be someone who's older than you by a small shot, say a few years. I hope you find that fatherly figure soon :)
Fashion Zombies!, May 25th, 2007 at 03:28:53am
Aww. ]:
Skippy., May 25th, 2007 at 03:03:25am
...I know exactly how that feels. It screwed alot of things up in my head..
I can tell by this blog you deserve a father figure. One day you'll get one...whoever it is, they'll be there.
davey jones., May 25th, 2007 at 01:08:00am
your dad doesn't know what he's missing out on..
you're an awesome kid.
flyday, May 24th, 2007 at 08:16:47pm
-hugs-
I know how you feel, I only met my father recently, and he never even calls me. He forgot my birthday, too.
Steph:DonaNobisPacem, May 24th, 2007 at 07:49:28pm
Well if you felt close enough to him, you should keep better contact with him. That way you could have SOME older male person in your life.
TMTCR, May 24th, 2007 at 07:41:20pm
Aww Jesse.
I'm sorry about this situation.
I know I can't understand how you feel exactly.
But yeah.
I'm here for you.
I love you and your the most amazing guy ever.
I don't know exactly what to say.
But I think that you've been raised well enough to where you are a good guy even if you never really had a father figure.
And whenever that father figure comes into your life.
He will be very lucky to have you as a son.
[:
ShyShy., May 24th, 2007 at 07:41:08pm
Wow I'm so sorry
SynGatesrocksmybed, May 24th, 2007 at 07:40:11pm
I have some contact with Carlos, but I haven't seen or talked to him since Christmas Day.
jesse rulez d00d., May 24th, 2007 at 07:38:13pm