Another Whiney Blog
This blog isn't going to be interesting or informative, it's just me talking about how I feel because I just need to talk.
Well today I went back to school, it was my first day back since the half term break. I was meant to go back to school yesterday like every body else but I didn't for reasons I don't feel like explaining. So anyway, here's the bitchy part, I got to school at usual time and went to meet my two "friends" Lizzy and Sarah* , in the usual place. I wasn't early but for some reason neither of them were there. They didn't turn up at all and eventually the bell rang an I went to registration thinking how weird it was that they might both be ill on the same day.
At first lesson, P.E which we are all in the same group for, I found Lizzy waiting outside the changing rooms for them to be opened as usual. I said hi and asked if Sarah was here today. She said yes so I told her I'd been looking for them that morning and couldn't find them. She just looked at the ground guiltily and didn't answer. Then Sarah turned up and I actually saw her face drop when she saw me. I couldn't understand why though so I just left it. The rest of they day went ok but I couldn't help noticing that they didn't seem to talk to me much and there was the odd snide remark thrown at me. I ignored them. Later, after school we were walking back to where Sarah is normally picked up from and the way Lizzy walks home. I'm picked up in the next road up 'cos it's easier for my mom. If we are early and Sarah's mom isn't there then we wait for a bit and talk till she arrives and then Lizzy walks on home and I go in the opposite direction to where my mom collects me. We were early so as usual I stood waiting with them but this time they just didn't want to. Sarah grabbed Lizzy's arm and said to me "Well, good-bye then" and started walking off up the road. I know she had no where to go 'cos her mom wasnt there yet, it was just her way off saying "Go away". Like an idiot I did what she wanted, I didn't confront her or ask her what was wrong, I just said bye and walked away not understanding what I'd done wrong. I know that this morning they met up with out me in a secret place. I'm so confused.
Right now I'm not having much fun at home, my mom's pregnant, (heavily, she's due next Monday) and she's fighting all the time with her boy friend who lives with us and is refusing to leave. I'm not coping well and it seems that in my life it's just one thing after another going wrong and it never seems to get better. At times like these we turn to our friends for support. They are the closest things I have to friends and they're constantly treating me like this. I have no one else to turn to. There are lots of other things that are going wrong but I'd be here forever writing them out.
I just wish I had some real friends, is it really too much to ask for?
*names have been changed because I'm paranoid and think they might discover this and read it somehow.
Well today I went back to school, it was my first day back since the half term break. I was meant to go back to school yesterday like every body else but I didn't for reasons I don't feel like explaining. So anyway, here's the bitchy part, I got to school at usual time and went to meet my two "friends" Lizzy and Sarah* , in the usual place. I wasn't early but for some reason neither of them were there. They didn't turn up at all and eventually the bell rang an I went to registration thinking how weird it was that they might both be ill on the same day.
At first lesson, P.E which we are all in the same group for, I found Lizzy waiting outside the changing rooms for them to be opened as usual. I said hi and asked if Sarah was here today. She said yes so I told her I'd been looking for them that morning and couldn't find them. She just looked at the ground guiltily and didn't answer. Then Sarah turned up and I actually saw her face drop when she saw me. I couldn't understand why though so I just left it. The rest of they day went ok but I couldn't help noticing that they didn't seem to talk to me much and there was the odd snide remark thrown at me. I ignored them. Later, after school we were walking back to where Sarah is normally picked up from and the way Lizzy walks home. I'm picked up in the next road up 'cos it's easier for my mom. If we are early and Sarah's mom isn't there then we wait for a bit and talk till she arrives and then Lizzy walks on home and I go in the opposite direction to where my mom collects me. We were early so as usual I stood waiting with them but this time they just didn't want to. Sarah grabbed Lizzy's arm and said to me "Well, good-bye then" and started walking off up the road. I know she had no where to go 'cos her mom wasnt there yet, it was just her way off saying "Go away". Like an idiot I did what she wanted, I didn't confront her or ask her what was wrong, I just said bye and walked away not understanding what I'd done wrong. I know that this morning they met up with out me in a secret place. I'm so confused.
Right now I'm not having much fun at home, my mom's pregnant, (heavily, she's due next Monday) and she's fighting all the time with her boy friend who lives with us and is refusing to leave. I'm not coping well and it seems that in my life it's just one thing after another going wrong and it never seems to get better. At times like these we turn to our friends for support. They are the closest things I have to friends and they're constantly treating me like this. I have no one else to turn to. There are lots of other things that are going wrong but I'd be here forever writing them out.
I just wish I had some real friends, is it really too much to ask for?
*names have been changed because I'm paranoid and think they might discover this and read it somehow.
Yeah. It's kind of like that for me.
I know how it feels to want real friends.
Mine are all so close to each other and I'm just like...meh.
Ya know what I mean.
=[
Vicious.., June 5th, 2007 at 04:17:58pm