Idenity Issues

GSBians, you are the only people I trust. Please, read this. I really need your advice...

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Seven years of self-injury and suicide talks. Hundreds of scars, both on the body and in the mind. A tornado of hell surrounding me and a bullshit life.

The storm has passed, and I find myself alone.

All the friends I thought I had, all the support, gone. Since I got clean and sober, they want nothing to do with me. If I'm not drunk, I'm not fun. I literally feel like I stand alone on this Earth. I'm looking out over my life, the world, and I don't understand it anymore.

I don't know what to do, how to do it. I don't know where to go, or how to get there. I don't know who I am, or who I want to be. I don't know anything anymore...Except my past.

I remember being this strong, passionate writer - A girl who wasn't afraid to speak her mind or act out in public. I remember laughing, hugging, singing, and smiling...Those memories just seem so far away now.

I know who I used to be, but who am I now?

The tornado has passed. Can I stand my ground? If I can, can I find myself again? And if I can't, will I just find my past instead...?

Posted on June 19th, 2007 at 05:04am

Comments

You've been self harming since you were seven?
Matt Smith, July 14th, 2007 at 11:02:02pm
Whatever you choose to do, know that I'll always be there for you. =]
And just know that if you want to laugh, sing, hug or smile, I'll be there to do it with you. I wish I could offer more.
CrazyEyes, June 26th, 2007 at 10:48:03am
People who only like you when you're hurting yourself are not friends, and you're better of without them. They only knew you when you were drunk, they never knew you as a person. You don't want friends like that. Its going to take time to get use to yourself, but you will. I promise, and it will be for the best.
Kurtni, June 19th, 2007 at 11:30:03am
yeah, i get that feeling too... the hyper fun indestructable girl on drugs is gone and a emotional wreck is left behind. my old frends thing im waste, that there more to life than fittin in, but im not fittin in, thats the point, im not fittin in with them coz drugs f*cked up my head..

make new frends, your gonna have to. *hugs*
Lyddy r teh Snaily, June 19th, 2007 at 10:46:47am
Maybe have some time by yourself to think things out and find out who you are.
Try to meet new friends and forget about those in the past.
Get your new friends to help and support you.
Then maybe you'll become confident again. [:
Good luck!
Skippy., June 19th, 2007 at 07:24:29am
Leave the people from the past behind, leave the things from the past behind. Move on and talk to a different group of people one day. Talk to them and try to be their friends. Be happy because life is great when you find the right friends.
Protest, June 19th, 2007 at 06:48:42am
Kid you can do what ever you want to do. Like Dance Dance Fool said, don't associate with them. You seem like an amazing person, just give it time. You'll find who you really are. All of that stuff before, it covered everything else up. Though you were a great writer and all of those people loved you, can you say that you loved yourself? Are you more proud of what you are doing now or back then? You've already taken control and gotten your life on track, that just proves that you are a very strong person and you can get what you want. You don't need to go back to doing that stuff to become that girl you once knew, she'll always be there no matter what you do. Just look. If you need anything PM me or something?
blood.sex.and booze, June 19th, 2007 at 05:27:28am
Well.. If I were you, I wouldn't associate with anyone from your past. No one. you can't fall back into those tendencies.

You have to move on. Pick up your sh*t and move.
Dance Dance. Fool!, June 19th, 2007 at 05:10:22am

Idenity Issues

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