Why don't I belive?

People are always speaking about god. 'God saved me' 'Lord help me' 'Praise the lord'

Since I was a little girl, I have been going to church. I rember while all the other children were getting into it, Singing, Praying Listening to sermons, I would always be on the balcony, In the way back, buried in a book.

People talk about this special warm feeling they get. People memorize the bible. People belive.

I have never In my life felt that warm embrace of god. I've had the suposed 'Body and Blood' of christ enter my body, And I always wince at the bitter wine and the dry bread. People savor it. They turn around and venerate [kiss] The icons [pictures of saints, jesus, theotokos, ect] They have their hands over their hearts, Their eyes closed. Basking in the warmth of god.

I've always wondered, Why I didn't ever feel anything. I always dreded comming to church, With all the Religious people and their secret affairs with god.

I kind of feel like a child left out in the cold rain. While the people of my church laugh, Smile, Warm with the love of god.

Every time I come near my church, Every time I hear a mention of god, one question comes to mind.

Why don't I belive?
Posted on July 4th, 2007 at 12:24am

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