Family bits.
Hi guys, this blog is just really to get some feelings out, a tell asll if you will. I also exscuse whatever swearing is on, but please, unlike last time, do not put "I love you" Instead of something else.
Anyways, for the past week, my mum hasn't been talking to me, I'm pretty sure it started on Tuesday, when I told her that my boyfriend and I and some other people were going into the city for the day, to go see The Simpsons Movie. Which was freaking awesome by the way Because my boyfriend was thinking of getting his eyebrow pierced, I asked if I could get my fourth holes done, [on my earlobe.]
This is where it all started. My mum got pissed off at me, and started yelling at me, cause I have my cartlidge done twice, I couldn't get anymore ear piercings, [I can oblidge with no facial piercings apart from my nose, but I don't plan on that till next year] She told me that I cannot get anymore, purely the fact of my cartlidge and 3 lobes already. Which I got really mad at. Because my mum had said I can get as many piercings in my ear as I want, because "at least it's not on your face" then she turned around and said no. I also happen to catch the bus home, Which costs me $1.80 each day. She then proceeded to yell at me more, and threw the money at me from across the car and sneered at me; "Get a fkn job you lazy bitch." .. I took that really offensively considering she's never said that to me in that way before and it hurt me to think my mum would ever say it to me.
That day I got offered a job, and because EVERYONE has had a go at me because I'm 15 and havent had a job yet, astonished everyone, supposedly. I now work at a fish and chip shop with my friend. Now I'm going to skip all this week, because nothing has happened, because; my mum hasn't talked to me. And the only time she has, is when my friends have been around, because my mum doesn't know I tell my close friends everything, and about how FAKE she is around my friend pretending to be happy with me, and making me look like a liar. [I think my mum likes to make me seem so little in her own world.]
Now, 1 week before, she was really, the best mum to me, and now it's gone downhill, all because I asked for one lousy piercing. I woke up this morning, walked out into the kitchen to make coffee for myself. My dad stood there, glaring at me, then that's when it started. His voice getting louder with every word he said. Saying how I'm so lazy around the house, and I want, want, want but never give ... Which I had to strongly disagree with. Because my 22 year old brother and I always used to have the same amount of jobs, but because he pays board every month, he must think he can get away with doing chores, and only one he does do, is wash up, because we take it a week in turns. It was my parentals vs me. And I will stand my ground, ever if it is against my parents.
So, it went on for about, 20 minutes or so, with yelling, full on, and for once, I didn't swear. I guess I was too busy crying. After all of it ended, me crying in the kitchen, dad in the lounge room watching TV, like nothing happened, and mum, out the back hanging up washing, When she was yelling at me, I think she was on the verge of tears, like, when you can hear it in someone's voice, and one thing my mum doesn't do, is cry. Then I was on the verge of a panic attack, because I couldn't breathe, and I was crying harder because I couldn't breathe. All day, I've been on and off crying. Which sucks, because I hate crying ... letting things out mostly.
I'm sorry if none of that made sense, but I needed to get it out of my system. I was thinking of just going out .. but then I woulda got into more trouble, and I know I would've ended up at my boyfriends house. and I don't want to rely on him when things get like that.
*sigh*
Anyways, for the past week, my mum hasn't been talking to me, I'm pretty sure it started on Tuesday, when I told her that my boyfriend and I and some other people were going into the city for the day, to go see The Simpsons Movie. Which was freaking awesome by the way Because my boyfriend was thinking of getting his eyebrow pierced, I asked if I could get my fourth holes done, [on my earlobe.]
This is where it all started. My mum got pissed off at me, and started yelling at me, cause I have my cartlidge done twice, I couldn't get anymore ear piercings, [I can oblidge with no facial piercings apart from my nose, but I don't plan on that till next year] She told me that I cannot get anymore, purely the fact of my cartlidge and 3 lobes already. Which I got really mad at. Because my mum had said I can get as many piercings in my ear as I want, because "at least it's not on your face" then she turned around and said no. I also happen to catch the bus home, Which costs me $1.80 each day. She then proceeded to yell at me more, and threw the money at me from across the car and sneered at me; "Get a fkn job you lazy bitch." .. I took that really offensively considering she's never said that to me in that way before and it hurt me to think my mum would ever say it to me.
That day I got offered a job, and because EVERYONE has had a go at me because I'm 15 and havent had a job yet, astonished everyone, supposedly. I now work at a fish and chip shop with my friend. Now I'm going to skip all this week, because nothing has happened, because; my mum hasn't talked to me. And the only time she has, is when my friends have been around, because my mum doesn't know I tell my close friends everything, and about how FAKE she is around my friend pretending to be happy with me, and making me look like a liar. [I think my mum likes to make me seem so little in her own world.]
Now, 1 week before, she was really, the best mum to me, and now it's gone downhill, all because I asked for one lousy piercing. I woke up this morning, walked out into the kitchen to make coffee for myself. My dad stood there, glaring at me, then that's when it started. His voice getting louder with every word he said. Saying how I'm so lazy around the house, and I want, want, want but never give ... Which I had to strongly disagree with. Because my 22 year old brother and I always used to have the same amount of jobs, but because he pays board every month, he must think he can get away with doing chores, and only one he does do, is wash up, because we take it a week in turns. It was my parentals vs me. And I will stand my ground, ever if it is against my parents.
So, it went on for about, 20 minutes or so, with yelling, full on, and for once, I didn't swear. I guess I was too busy crying. After all of it ended, me crying in the kitchen, dad in the lounge room watching TV, like nothing happened, and mum, out the back hanging up washing, When she was yelling at me, I think she was on the verge of tears, like, when you can hear it in someone's voice, and one thing my mum doesn't do, is cry. Then I was on the verge of a panic attack, because I couldn't breathe, and I was crying harder because I couldn't breathe. All day, I've been on and off crying. Which sucks, because I hate crying ... letting things out mostly.
I'm sorry if none of that made sense, but I needed to get it out of my system. I was thinking of just going out .. but then I woulda got into more trouble, and I know I would've ended up at my boyfriends house. and I don't want to rely on him when things get like that.
*sigh*
Anytime you want to talk, PM me.
I know too what its like being blamed for the slightest thing, i got blamed for my dads death and I turned to drugs and alcohol as the soloution.
Talk to your brother, he might be supportive of you. But the worst thing hyou can do is bottle it up
schooldropout, August 5th, 2007 at 04:07:56pm
Thanks ...
but the only thing is; I'm afraid my brother will be or already is on their side, I have to admit, he will stick up for me, but not against my parents, probably fearing we'll be both ignored for a long time. Even when we are older and "mature" we still have competetion for the "best kid" etcc ... And, It may seem stupid, but I don't like talking to my brother about issues like that, I can find the guts to do it, that's why I never talked to mum when she was angry with me.
Because I was in constant fear of saying something stupid and being either; yelled at or hit for it.
Tre Cool Junkeh, August 5th, 2007 at 03:50:52pm
i think you should maybe ask your brother to talk to your parents? if he has seen how they are treating you at the moment he should know it's not on. if he doesnt want to talk to them then how about you write a letter to your mum basically what you have said in here? it's only a suggestion and i dont mind if you think it's not for you.
x
Sarah!, August 5th, 2007 at 03:22:05pm