Why do all the conformist kids win at life? (warning: very long)
There are a couple (maybe more then a couple) girls, (and probably boys, but I don’t really know the boys very well) in my school that are boring and unoriginal as hell. They are not bad people, they are in the most part very friendly. But the reason I don’t hang out with them as much as I do with the kids I do hang out with is because they have no interesting quality’s that make me want to socialize with them. I don’t know how these kids think, I can’t go inside their mind, But of what I see their weaknesses are pretty much what my “strengths” are. They don’t think outside of the box, they don’t have any intersects that most kids don’t have. Sounds boring right? Why would someone want to be like that? Well here is the thing, these kids….
Get better grades
Are popular
Have boyfriends
Are considered “more attractive”
Get attention
And are even favored by teachers.
Why? Are they smarter? Are they more fun to hang with? Are they prettier? I don’t think so, I think they just are followers.
Imagine two girls, here is the first one, lets call her Stacey. Stacey has shiny long blond hair, A nice figure, and fashionable clothes. Stacey has lots of friends and is very popular. Stacey is going out with the most popular boy in school, let’s call him Steve, he plays football and looks like a Abercrombie model. Stacey follows Steve around everywhere and laughs at whatever he says. Stacey listens to whatever is on the top ten charts, watches all the popular TV shows, and shops at all the “cool” stores. Not only is Stacey popular and charming, but she also gets straight As and is in honors, she is a great speller and has all her math facts memorized.
Now lets look at the other girl, lets call her Adrienne. Adrienne has dark hair, think square glasses, and wheres long hippy skirts in the summer, and mostly just jeans and a hoodie in the winter. Adrienne doesn’t have a boyfriend. When Adrienne is with boys her age she treats them like she treats anyone else. Adrienne has some kids she hangs out with, but not a lot of close friends. Adrienne listens to indie rock most people have never heard of, she watches discovery channel, and shops at thrift stores. Adrienne thinks very complexly, she is a wonderful writer and is very interested in social issues. However as smart as she is, she gets mostly Bs and Cs, she has some issues spelling and memorizing stuff. She hardly ever gets to express her ideas.
So whos more successful in life? Stacey. Adrienne’s creative thinking gets her no where, no one cares about it. Everyone thinks she is weird and kids make fun of her. Eventually Adrienne will become unconfident and upset. She will either conform and lose what makes her herself, but be successful or stay herself but fail, the question is, why does she fail?
The school system likes conformism. When you get a quiz does It normally say “explain your opinion and morals on this issue” or “what is the correct answer?”. It asks for the answer, just the answer, not your opinions, just if you can remember the answer. So if the really smart kid has memory issues the smart kid will often fail, he/she will be labeled as a student with poor grades. Therefore people will think of the student of stupid.
If a teacher asks you what two plus two is you would say four right? That’s the answer right? You learned that when you where like five. Well what if the teacher where to say “no it’s six” you would find that a bit stupid. Well the next day you get a test and it asks what two plus two is, would you answer “four” because that’s the correct answer? Or would you answer “six” because that’s what the teacher said it was and you don’t want to fail. Now if this where to be with something more controversial, like “was Columbus the first person to set foot on America” and the teacher said he was, would you answer “yes” because even though you know it’s wrong you want to obey the teacher and pass the quiz, or would you answer “no” because you know he didn’t and it would be wrong. Most people would say “yes” because they don’t want to fail. Well if everyone says that then eventually people will forget that the natives and early explorers where their first, and then we would all have forgotten an important part of history. But that’s all ok, because you passed the test, now you have a better chance of getting into Harvard, and you will do better in life. Right?
No. it’s not alright to just let people brainwash others and take advantage of and abuse their high powers. Also, when you write your essays for Harvard you will turn up with a crappy essay because you forgot how to use what my LA teacher (who is better then the teacher who says Columbus discovered America, even though she seems to hate me) calls HOTS (higher order thinking skills) the Harvard people see that and you don’t get in, so now you have to go to that crappy collage in Kansas or somewhere else with really flat terrain and a lot of tornadoes. (unless you like that, then you have to go to California or something with hills and few tornadoes). Also, you not having HOTS, makes it more likey for people to take advantage of you and brainwash you. So you become even more of a clone, and you get robbed as well.
It can go that way, or you can get more dumb questions like that, do well, get into Harvard, get a good job because you went to Harvard, but actually be very stupid. Sadly, that happens a lot. Few teachers have recognized what kids are skilled at things they don’t test. I don’t know if the kid conformist kid will do well and get into Harvard. I don’t know what will happen to Stacey and Adrienne, it all depends.
And it’s the same with social matters, People don’t want to have no friends, just like people don’t want to be stupid. So people conform so they have friends. This is not always the case, but many of the people who will conform to higher authorities also conform to be accepted by their peers. I used school, two kids, and grades as examples because that is something people in my age group spend time thing about.
So to make a very long blog ( that most people will not read fully) short. Although conformist kids seem to win at life, they are really just losers, because they don’t think independently. And if everyone thought like a conformist, this world would be so much worse then it is, and that’s pretty bad.
Also, I don’t have anything against, Harvard, blondes, good spellers, people with good memories, or people with good grades, as long as they are not brainless clones. I simply needed examples. I do have some issues with Abercrombie Models, conformists and flat places with tornadoes, even though I live in the Midwest.
Comments
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A lot of the comments here are rather rude. I agree wholeheartedly about the idea of grades and fitting in, and it annoys me that the conformists always seems to win. Of course, it is not this black and white, but I have always been more like Adrienne. And I would not have changed myself for all the friends and money in the world, though I would fight the system if I did not get a fair share.
It only gets worse when psychiatric labels are given to people who have a hard time adjusting to society's rules. I do not believe that things like ADHD or Asperger's syndrome are something wrong with an individual, but rather neurodiverse ways of thinking. The real problem is that our school system is of such low quality because there are so many people who do not want to pay their taxes for the betterment of children. Therefore, nonconformist children often have to suffer through this and be forced into normalcy otherwise they lose out.
There are ways to change this depressing reality, but it will take time. It took hundreds of years for africans, native americans, and women to get their rights, and now we are moving on to a more broad range of people who are simply misunderstood by society. I do whatever I can to make those people feel better and know that some people will appreciate them. And I just ignore the people that suck it up, and hope someday they will realize that they are just shallow people.
It appears you wrote this in 2007, not sure if you still go here. But feel free to read my blog at www.cheetahchottah.blogspot.com
BigTimeSynesthete, April 8th, 2011 at 10:41:40am
lol
paper shoes, December 1st, 2007 at 12:32:29am
I have to admit, I'm a pretty average student.
Mostly C's.
But people have told me I don't look or act like anyone else they've ever met and I really pride that.
germma margaret!, November 30th, 2007 at 01:06:06pm
i'm not trying to be some random person commenting on your blog..but
don't go and bash the "conformists" at your school,
when your a conformist yourself.
what's so unconforming about "adrienne" because she watches the discovery channel and wears hippie skirts?
like, 95% of all people are conformists...
we have this thing in our brain that makes us think that we are so much more unique than other people..when we're not.
insomniac<3333, November 28th, 2007 at 11:39:27pm
just to clear things up, I'm not saying that everyone who gets good grades is a conformist. Also I have never been to whatever school you people go to, thats just the way it is in my school.
and FYI i'm horrible at blogging, so it always turns out like I mean something I don't really mean -_-.
Mycophobia, November 28th, 2007 at 10:06:42pm
When you get a quiz does It normally say “explain your opinion and morals on this issue” or “what is the correct answer?”
- when I studied sociology, most of my questions were the former, but with a lot of subjects the question asked would be the latter.
Personally I don't think school favours conformists, I think it favours those who are willing to put the effort in. I worked my arse off at school and it paid off. I have a pretty poor memory so I put a lot into revising for my exams. I took a lot of notes and filled a lot of work books and revision cards. I'm terrible at maths, and it takes me a long time to get my head round mathematical issues and numbers still confuse me now. But I put my all into maths at school and I spent hours pouring over things until it clicked.
I do believe some people are naturally gifted, but I also think anyone can achieve anything they wish. If you want to climb Everest you damn well can climb Everest, you just need to work for it. If you want an A on that essay you damn well can get an A on that essay, you just need to work for it. Catch my drift?
girl almighty, November 28th, 2007 at 12:23:30pm
I get good grades.
I get attention.
I'm not popular.
Everybody is in some way different. I'd say don't stereotype but that'd be hypocritical.
I say just be yourself. :\
Riot on the Radio, November 28th, 2007 at 10:21:49am
Im maily an A or B student in some subjects.
F in most.
I have a lot of friends and im popular in my group.
A few of my teachers love me.
I wear random clothes.
I listen to everything.
And I go out with the hottest guy in school [voted by my whole class and all of year 9]
So um yeah. And im not conformist.
I just dress like an 'emo'
Im not 'emo' :]
Everybody's a conformist.
All those people that think their not, You are.
Because you belong to a group of people who think their different = Conformists.
Thats my opinion.
Good blog, I just dont believe in your views.
Tholomew Plague, November 28th, 2007 at 09:42:54am
I have straight As. I work damn hard for things I get. I go to church every Sunday. I've only had 3 detentions in my entire life. I don't have a criminal record. I have many friends, of any clique, and I don't follow people.
And besides, my parents work damn hard as well, and that's exactly why one has a day lame day job and a lamer night job and the other is unemployed.
O yah.
Conformist kids COMPLETELY win at life.
Everything in this world is so physically based anymore. I don't give a crap how people dress, I don't care what they look like. It's NEVER completely how they are on the inside. You basically discribed me as you did Adrienne, and yet I'm so different. Some teachers favor me, yes, because I have a good attitude. Some teachers hate me because I'm too out of the box. Everyone's different and there are only a handful of people in this world like the ones you described in this blog, so if you're planning on basing all of your people skills off of the information you've aquired now, you may want to rethink that.
JOOLS, November 28th, 2007 at 04:26:59am
You know, I really understand what you were getting at...but you didn't explain it well..at all and sound really really ignorrant.
I have blonde hair.
I am pretty damn popular
I get excellent grades
I am favored by a lot of teachers
and I am dating probably one of thee most liked boys in school.
I earned respect from people, and whether you think people like me didn't earn it the way you think they should earn it...than thats fine. But I worked at this, I earned the respect from my school...I've paid my dues and been through my times of hardships and have been that girl who had no friends. So I know what I'm talking about. But people who are like that have no excuse...you can't just wait around for people to come to you and than sulk around thinking that all those people who ARE liked just have everything come to them.
Its true that their is alot of the world who doens't think for themselves, but thats not really their fault. ITs how you were raised...who you were influcened by...who taught you, who you looked up to. And sadly in this world, if you disagree on something...you can't just say "No I'm not going to do this. Its bullsh*t." You can't always do that in life if you want to get ontop. If you think that thats conforming...than you are dead wrong. Sometimes you have to agree with the man and have to fall into his sh*t. Even if you don't like it. You have to surrender sometimes. If someone told me the answer to something and I knew it was wrong yet I knew i would pass the quiz on it...I'd answer it the way that would make me pass. I want to suceed in life...and sadly even if I go to the lengths of going against some of my beliefs than I'll do it. If you want something badly, you'll do anything for it. I am that way. I'll do anything to do what my life goal is. [u]anything[/u].
Though I am not saying that you should jsut totaly give up on your beliefs...but you can't go around and defend them all the time. Thats not how the world works, you need to realize that.
That girl...Stacey, as you used as an example...she is on top. She may not be a free thinker, but she obviously has solocial skills and intelligence and thats how you suceed in ths world. It may not be right but thats fact. Addirenna...she seems like the stuck up one.
And you do to. You are sick and tired of these kinds of people judging you...I am just asuming. The steroypyical popular preps...right? Well you are judging them to! I am tired of people picking on them...they must be liked for something and if you don't spend the time to get to know them...than how can you rightfully say that about them??
Jessie.Tastic!, November 28th, 2007 at 03:00:06am
ok, i just realised i made no sense..... Sorry if i confused you guys.
Vegemite, November 28th, 2007 at 01:35:19am
i think some of her point about this was using your brain more often for what you think and know is right rather than listening to teachers, i mean, working hard pays off, and im glad you put your mind to school because in this day and age (L Lawliet) the government makes the decision that we have to go to school. Althoug hi partly agree, i just think that for osme people there could be an alternative.
I too have also gotten very frustrated abut things like memorizing. I mean, if you could memorize all that youve lernt, without understad a single thing of what you were memorizing, but you did an exam and wrote down everything that you memorized, that is being stupid because you havent learnt anything... but meh...
Vegemite, November 28th, 2007 at 01:33:58am
I agree with L Lawliet.
And pluswise, at least where I'm from, the smart kids get good grades. The kids who work extremely hard get good grades. The kids who aren't that smart or don't work hard get bad grades. Unless someone has a serious mental problem or is undergoing serious personal issues, I can't think of an excuse to get any worse grades than anyone else.
Take me, for example. Last year I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I cut, I cried, and i still got good grades. If someone really wants them, they can get them.
If you don't have a great memory, unfortunately, you need to study more. People should do what they need to do to succeed. And if a teacher is incorrect, you tell them so and find a source to prove them wrong. I've done so.
Miley Cyrus, November 28th, 2007 at 01:17:55am
I don't appreciate being accused of being a conformist. It's quite insulting.
L Lawliet, November 28th, 2007 at 12:56:59am
What exactly makes you think these people have no interesting qualities? You don't talk to them, so how on Earth would you know? You have no idea how they think, and yet you're certain they don't think outside the box? Here you are immediatly categorizing people who do well as stupid and completely forgetting about the fact that those who don't may actually be dim.
I happen to be a great speller, an excellent mathematician and a straight A student. My memory is incredible. I am extremely intelligent and extremely successful. And one more thing: I WORK MY BUTT OFF. It's not so easy being a good student, and it's especially difficult when others think it's a walk in the park and therefore expect you to be perfect. I am successful because I work hard for all of my triumphs and I take my school, my talents and myself extremely seriously.
I am favored by teachers because I cooperate, I listen to what they say, and I contribute to the class. I clear out any doubts I have and I correct the teacher when he or she is making a mistake.
I think outside the box. I have my own mind. I am very good at analyzing things and I have very good reasoning abilities. I have my own tastes (which some people consider strange). I am creative and write my own stories. My thoughts are not simple, and I treat everyone just the same. And yet I'm not talked to by many people because there are people out there who are so judgmental that they believe me to be boring, to have no original thoughts in my head, to be obssesed with good grades, to be a know-it-all, and to be simple-minded.
I am not perfect. But I try hard at everything I do, and I do what I can to make myself heard, and I use my talents to my advantage and for my success.
I suggest that you open your mind more to the possibilities. Some of these people you accuse of being followers and unoriginal may actually be creative, intelligent, and unique. Oh, and thank you so much for contributing in the fight against labeling!
L Lawliet, November 28th, 2007 at 12:54:30am