I've turned into something I never wanted to be.
Ever since my dad died I hit a patch in my life where I hit self destruct. Nothing mattered to me until I found my girlfriend at a young age, she was my rock who managed to keep me sane or at least a little better. In time we broke up after I found out she was pregnant and proposed- to show her I wouldn't run away from this like I had been doing my whole life. She aborted the baby.
After a few one night stands she told me she was pregnant again and that I was the father. I didn't know if I was happy or sad in case the same thing happened again, but I promised her and myself that this time I would do the right thing. Soon realizing that baby things were expensive i took on a few different jobs, but it wasn't enough money so I started selling drugs. Heroin, Cocaine, LSD, Dope, Dehidrocedines. Anything and everything I could get my hands on. Then on Friday night I got into a fight with a local pakistani man. I admit I was racist and I have my reasons for not liking them but that's a different story, he was just as guilty as me. I got arrested for Actual Body Harm and being drunk and disorderly - but someone tipped the police off that I was using class A drugs and was selling them. They raided my girlfriends flat while she was out, she wasn't mad at me because she knew why I was doing it. I just wish I hadn't.
After spending the weekend in jail Missand from here, bailed me out. We had breakfast in a cafe and had a very long and serious chat then I went to get myself a lawyer which I can't afford. He told me for the ABH alone I could face up to 7 years in prison since it was racially motivated.
ABH- 7 years
Drunken Disorderly- 18 months
Possession of a class A drug- 7 years
Possession of a class B drug- 5 years
Possession of a class C drug- 2 years
Intent to supply any of the above drugs - Life inprisonment.
So when i'm sentenced to god knows how many years, I may never come out. I'll never see my baby grow up and that's the hardest thing I've ever had to face in my life and I'll be honest. I'm scared. What kind of life is that for a kid, to not have a dad about because he's locked away inside. So I have to make a decision, to give my girlfriend the money for an abortion. They both don't deserve it.
After a few one night stands she told me she was pregnant again and that I was the father. I didn't know if I was happy or sad in case the same thing happened again, but I promised her and myself that this time I would do the right thing. Soon realizing that baby things were expensive i took on a few different jobs, but it wasn't enough money so I started selling drugs. Heroin, Cocaine, LSD, Dope, Dehidrocedines. Anything and everything I could get my hands on. Then on Friday night I got into a fight with a local pakistani man. I admit I was racist and I have my reasons for not liking them but that's a different story, he was just as guilty as me. I got arrested for Actual Body Harm and being drunk and disorderly - but someone tipped the police off that I was using class A drugs and was selling them. They raided my girlfriends flat while she was out, she wasn't mad at me because she knew why I was doing it. I just wish I hadn't.
After spending the weekend in jail Missand from here, bailed me out. We had breakfast in a cafe and had a very long and serious chat then I went to get myself a lawyer which I can't afford. He told me for the ABH alone I could face up to 7 years in prison since it was racially motivated.
ABH- 7 years
Drunken Disorderly- 18 months
Possession of a class A drug- 7 years
Possession of a class B drug- 5 years
Possession of a class C drug- 2 years
Intent to supply any of the above drugs - Life inprisonment.
So when i'm sentenced to god knows how many years, I may never come out. I'll never see my baby grow up and that's the hardest thing I've ever had to face in my life and I'll be honest. I'm scared. What kind of life is that for a kid, to not have a dad about because he's locked away inside. So I have to make a decision, to give my girlfriend the money for an abortion. They both don't deserve it.
oh wow.
i hope everything works out for you.
like it's been said, keep hopeful...
Shock Treatment, July 21st, 2008 at 03:26:31am
i am so sorry reading this makes me so sad i just want to cry
XDEREKSXCHICKX, June 10th, 2008 at 12:58:40am
I'm so sorry. =(
I hope everything turns out right for you, your girlfriend, and your unborn baby. *hugs*
In My Insanity, May 27th, 2008 at 01:20:49pm
Oh wow, that's harsh :( I hope things will work out for you.
princess consuela, May 27th, 2008 at 11:44:29am
*hugs you tightly*
Just reading that makes me cry. I can understand why u chose 2 sell drugs, if I was in ur position I probably would've done the same thing. Keep ur chin up, maybe things will get betta. I'm very sorry to hear that. God, I'm crying right now as I'm typing this. Thats awful. If eva u wanna talk Im always here 4 u anytime of the day.
*hugs you tightly again*
Aussie! Oi Oi Oi, May 8th, 2008 at 04:21:57am
*hugs*
dude, i don't how you feel right now, but if i can imagine half of it, this hurts
like hell. i'm sorry that all this had to happen. i really am. i sincerely hope
that things get better. i wish i knew what else i could say.
get famous, May 8th, 2008 at 12:44:41am
oh thats sad, I hope everything turns out fine. I'm not sure of your country's laws but as Daschundpup2007 put it staying honest is the best way to go.
I hope everything turns out fine, I'm rooting for ya.
Drummergirl, May 6th, 2008 at 09:52:47pm
Thanks guys. I appreciate it, I really do.
I may not be an international drug lord but I wasn't running off my own back, I was doing it for a guy who if he goes down I'll be eating through a straw.
schooldropout, May 6th, 2008 at 07:55:38am
Like Eileen said, "Don't give up".
Skippy., May 6th, 2008 at 02:44:28am
I have to agree with Cradle of Fear.
I don't know what your country's law is like... But I do know that if you make an honest and positive effort in your future hearings, things should be fine...
Just think positive and be there while you can for your girlfriend and unborn child...
Barney Stinson, May 5th, 2008 at 09:25:06pm
Think about the realities though Jake, it's not like you are an international drug lord so a life sentence is unlikely, and tbh many of these sentences are imposed concurrently, you serve them at the same time, so you might get off with a few years, shorter if you are a model prisoner. If you do go down, use the time to your advantage, take some courses and improve your skills so you can get a good job when you get out. Best of luck in your court appearances.
In relation to the baby issue, don't be too hasty on it. Seriously think things through, yes your child might be without a father for a while, but you will be a part of it's life, and you will get out of prison at some point. You can make up for time lost then.
Grandma, May 5th, 2008 at 08:10:51pm
I don't know what to say really, but keep pushing through.
You had good intentions, believe me, but man who knows what could happen..
Don't give up though.
Please don't.
threeam., May 5th, 2008 at 07:21:23pm
Oh my!!! I'm sorry to hear about all of this!!! It's a very serious situation, obviously. I can't imagine the pain you're in right now!
I don't know what else to say.... Except that I'm thinking of you, your girlfriend and your unborn child. I am here to chat if you need to...
Barney Stinson, May 5th, 2008 at 04:43:46pm
:[
I'd give you an E-hug, but people tell me those don't work too well.
But I'll give you one anyway.
*e-hugs*
I hope everything turns out okay with you and your girlfriend and baby. D:
captain america, May 5th, 2008 at 04:16:12pm