A blog on how Ducks, Shepherds Pie and Led Zeppelin try to take over the world...

Me and my brother often have these kind of wierded out conversations.
But Anyway:
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One day, the ducks of the world, dissatisfied at being confined to canals and farms, decided to conduct an uprising, led by the lead duck, a tall black one with a red beak and a plastic fluffy tiara, formerly called Bubbles but during the uprising mostly reffered to as 'Oh Overlording One'.
They stationed troops outside every human-occupied building in the world(wearing little duck-sized army suits and carrying little duck-sized weapons, natch) and held all the humans seige until thier demands(complete control of all the governments in all the contries in all the world, complete free run of all bread factories, stuff like that)were met.
Meanwhile, in the freezer sections of most supermarkets, the ready meals were also getting restless. They were tired of being slandered by these health guru people, tired of being bellitled by these 'cook everything from scratch' hippies. And now the humans were under siege in the supermarket, and things were looking pretty grim for them, as these humans didn't really care about fresh organic ingredients or sodium content by this point, as it had been a week already.
The shepherd's pies(authers noteo you get those in non-britain countries? It's like minced beef with mashed potato on top. Its nice)were especially driven to find a way out of this predicament, as shepherds pies are well known for thier determination and ability to think quickly under pressure, and also thier cutting senses of humour, but us humans never seem to realise this, which i suppose was just another motive for thier forthcoming actions against us.
The chicken kormas used thier radio signalling skills to tell all the other ready meals in the world of the plan, as the beginning of the uprising started in a Tesco deep freeze department in a small town about an hour away from Edimburgh, Scotland. They also used thier radio powers to reverse the freezer so everything in the freezers cooked, to as hot as they could get before burning, until one plucky pie, named Angus, broke forth from the glass and splattered in a human's face, giving them fatal burns. The shepherd's pies all broke forward and ran out of the supermarket, killing all they encountered until theygot to the door. At this point, all the other ready meals discovered with some dissapointment that they couldn't run, and the chicken kormas promptly turned up the heat even more so the freezer counter combusted, in an act of mass suicide.

Menwhile, the shepherd's pies struck a deal with the ducks that if they helped them, using their meaty and potatoeish powers aginst the humans, the ducks would allow them equal share of the power when they took over the world, which they were well on thier way to doing, as most Highways, Motorways and Dual Carridgeways in the world had now been turned into giant canals holding duck supercities, created by some sort of miriacle of using telekinises, chinese food and the overlord of the ducks developing a taste for Anime.

Of course, the enevitable happened, and when they were on the very edge of having half of the world in thier grasp, the pies got greedy. They decided they wanted all of the world, and challenged the ducks to a food fight. Of course, by some utterly unrelated coincidence(or me humming 'whole lotta love', i dunno) four zeppelins composed entirely of lead shot to earth and made some rather large craters in Japan. This was Led Zeppelin, coming to save the day, with the help of several thousand Ziggy Stardust clones and a couple of enthusiastic Bees who loved the adventure of it all, but unfortunately the only survivor of the crash land on earth was Jimmy Page, who came upon several hundred spaceships that the humans had been building in secret, just taking off, to relocate the survivors of the human race to the moon, to live with the moon chavs. He snuck into the airlock and tagged along.

The ducks and the shephers pie's at this point could see no point in continuing thier quest, and so all splunged to create a rather nice casserole, that Jimmy Page named Shephered's duck, and they all lived happily ever after.
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See, my 9 year old brother's almost as crazy as me!

Mehe.
Posted on February 20th, 2007 at 03:52pm

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