Dilemma...

I'll try and keep this simple because even I'm confused by this lol Razz

Anywayyy:
If you were around here about 4-8 months ago, you probably witnessed me going on about someone called Tommy.
Long story short he was on TV, I thought he was gorgeous, I added his Myspace and we got talking.
...to be perfectly honest I really fell for him. It was like all my dreams coming true...being friends with someone "famous"
And I was, after a lot of messages and promoting him, I was on his top myspace friends, we spoke often, and I started to really fancy him.
The trouble was, at one gig, he kissed my friend.
Ok, it hurt because I really liked him and I knew he knew that, but it wasn't like we were going out so I didn't go completely mental.
It made me realise though he wasn't as amazing as I thought he was, and all the things in my head were never going to happen. After a few more myspace messages I decided to see if he really wanted to be a friend of mine. I promised myself not to message him or text him or email him until he emailed me.
...but he never did.
4 months on, he still hasn't tried to contact me. It just shows that when I wasn't running round after him he didn't care.


Anyway, my dilemma is, recently, I've been having dreams about him and thinking about him a lot. I've started listening to his music again and visiting his myspace.
I keep telling myself I'm not weak enough to give in and message him but I've been doing stupid things like bribing people I know to send him comments on the chance he might see me on their profile and talk to me again.
...and as well as him I miss his Mum too, she was lovely, but messaging her would be bringing back the contact with him again.

Ugh. idk, I just want to know he cares that I exist, at the moment I feel like he wouldn't care if I got run over by an army truck Molly
Am I doing more damage than good by listening to his music again? Should I just message him? I've never felt like this before I and I don't know what to do Sad
Posted on August 4th, 2008 at 09:06am

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