I love you so much, it hurts.
Dear love of my life,
It's been a while now, since you told me you wanted some space. It's been a while since you told me you wanted more than I could give. I know it's been hard to stay, and I wish you knew how things are for me. It was September 7th that you had told me I was to be on my own for the dreadful weeks that have passed, and the ones that lie ahead. I don't know how to tell you how much it hurts, and I am so scared. I am so scared about not being enough, and I am so scared that you will keep hurting me without realizing the damage that has been done. This damage I have to deal with and try to keep from you without much success. This damage, which feels so permanent, has sunken it's teeth in, like those of an angry animal, and has torn me open for all to see.
I feel as though everyone, maybe even you, want so much more than I am able to give. I am demanded to get first place, when I can only do as well as second to last. The things you have done, no matter how painful they sting me or how powerful they hit me, can never decrease my love for you. I love you with everything I have, and it hurts now. It hurts to feel so low; so microscopic. It hurts to have so much hope, then have it taken away so easily. It hurts to know that I may be here, alone, for so much longer than I can take.
I don't know how to show you how I am feeling. I don't know how to live when I feel so empty; so hopeless. You helped me to believe I could accomplish anything, but the more I have been pushed away, the more my belief has faded. I never meant for you to do this to me. Maybe it is all my fault and not yours. I wish I knew where I went wrong for you to do what you have done. I wish I knew how to keep you from wanting to leave. I wish I knew how to show my love for you the right way.
All that I have left to feel alive is almost gone, and I am waiting for that day you decide to bring all of that happiness that I had from March of last year. To bring back that happiness that stuck so long, all because you said "yes" when I asked you to be mine. All because of your beautiful mind, body, face, and personality. I know this long letter will change nothing about our current situation. I just hope you might begin to understand what I have gone through these long twenty-three days.
Love,
Jesse Asthenia
Your soon-to-be fiance.
It's been a while now, since you told me you wanted some space. It's been a while since you told me you wanted more than I could give. I know it's been hard to stay, and I wish you knew how things are for me. It was September 7th that you had told me I was to be on my own for the dreadful weeks that have passed, and the ones that lie ahead. I don't know how to tell you how much it hurts, and I am so scared. I am so scared about not being enough, and I am so scared that you will keep hurting me without realizing the damage that has been done. This damage I have to deal with and try to keep from you without much success. This damage, which feels so permanent, has sunken it's teeth in, like those of an angry animal, and has torn me open for all to see.
I feel as though everyone, maybe even you, want so much more than I am able to give. I am demanded to get first place, when I can only do as well as second to last. The things you have done, no matter how painful they sting me or how powerful they hit me, can never decrease my love for you. I love you with everything I have, and it hurts now. It hurts to feel so low; so microscopic. It hurts to have so much hope, then have it taken away so easily. It hurts to know that I may be here, alone, for so much longer than I can take.
I don't know how to show you how I am feeling. I don't know how to live when I feel so empty; so hopeless. You helped me to believe I could accomplish anything, but the more I have been pushed away, the more my belief has faded. I never meant for you to do this to me. Maybe it is all my fault and not yours. I wish I knew where I went wrong for you to do what you have done. I wish I knew how to keep you from wanting to leave. I wish I knew how to show my love for you the right way.
All that I have left to feel alive is almost gone, and I am waiting for that day you decide to bring all of that happiness that I had from March of last year. To bring back that happiness that stuck so long, all because you said "yes" when I asked you to be mine. All because of your beautiful mind, body, face, and personality. I know this long letter will change nothing about our current situation. I just hope you might begin to understand what I have gone through these long twenty-three days.
Love,
Jesse Asthenia
Your soon-to-be fiance.
awww jesse this made me like bawl my eyes out ,
i really hope everything works out for you two and i hope everything ends up exactly how you want it .
this is written really beautifully and i hope that you get what you want in the end <3
moody fallon, October 3rd, 2008 at 07:40:54pm
:/
this is so sad and amazing at the same time.
hollywood tragedy., October 1st, 2008 at 06:51:39pm
alyssa took the words out of my mouth;
this is beautiful.
Fallop!an Cwac Cwac., October 1st, 2008 at 03:42:06pm
i don't know what to say, except i hope to god everything works out. and this is really pretty. and sad.
get famous, September 30th, 2008 at 11:45:24pm
wow jesse this is just so... i don't know, i want to say beautiful but omg so sad too
Ave Maria, September 30th, 2008 at 11:20:54pm
jesse this is beautiful.
JEW., September 30th, 2008 at 11:09:05pm