What a curveball
How can you be SO SURE about something for months and months, and then when you get to the time that you have to make the decision, you really start to rethink it? Damn it life, stop throing me these curveballs.
Okay, so I've been debating with myself whether or not to switch schools at the end of the year. I've been so sure with myself that switching was the right thing. I had all of the pros and cons figured out and I'd asked every person imaginable on their opinions. I wanted to switch more than anything, and when I was told i couldn't, it crushed me.
But now that I actually can... Now that I have the chance... I'm second guessing myself. Why?! This is what I wanted! But it all just came at once, as a shock. I mean, I'd be surrounded by complete strangers! I wouldn't see the familiar faces everyday!
But my music... I think it'd be a lot better if I went to this school.
But what if my anxiety disorder comes back? What if I cry every day like I did at the begining of this school year? What if it's no better than last time? I don't know if I want to take that chance, but I almost feel like I have to. But I still don't know if I want to.
Why do I have to second guess myself? Why can't I just be sure of something once in a while? I'm scared, and I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place right now. How do I get out? I'm so scared...
Okay, so I've been debating with myself whether or not to switch schools at the end of the year. I've been so sure with myself that switching was the right thing. I had all of the pros and cons figured out and I'd asked every person imaginable on their opinions. I wanted to switch more than anything, and when I was told i couldn't, it crushed me.
But now that I actually can... Now that I have the chance... I'm second guessing myself. Why?! This is what I wanted! But it all just came at once, as a shock. I mean, I'd be surrounded by complete strangers! I wouldn't see the familiar faces everyday!
But my music... I think it'd be a lot better if I went to this school.
But what if my anxiety disorder comes back? What if I cry every day like I did at the begining of this school year? What if it's no better than last time? I don't know if I want to take that chance, but I almost feel like I have to. But I still don't know if I want to.
Why do I have to second guess myself? Why can't I just be sure of something once in a while? I'm scared, and I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place right now. How do I get out? I'm so scared...
well i mean , if you are socially awful (no offence or anything) , you probably shouldn't change schools.
moody fallon, January 28th, 2009 at 12:47:52am
I'm going to sound like a philosopher right now.
ehem.
Life is full of choices, some don't seem clear right away but once you make a change into your life everything will fall into place and be where it should.
When you come to the fork in the road, take it :]
Rage, January 27th, 2009 at 09:54:37pm
PHWOAR: I was diagnozed with it =/ It means you can't control your thoughts as well when you're paniked and your mind has a chemical imbalance. not a big thing, most of the time.
In My Insanity, January 27th, 2009 at 11:37:01am
Well, i am a person who is starting their second year at a new school.
The great thing about it is being able to get rid off all the thigs that oyu didnt like, and well, welcome the new and exciting things.
At first, its scary, you dont know many people, but you find yourself very quick.
I hope that you make the right choice =]
Vegemite, January 27th, 2009 at 06:13:55am
If it's possible, you could switch schools and see how you go, and if you don't like it as much as the other one, you could go back. But after reading this and the way you see things, it doesn't seem as if that's possible. Like Taylor said, a new start could be good. If you think it'll be good for your music, I say go ahead. Change those strangers into friends. (:
Skippy., January 27th, 2009 at 03:39:23am
Does crying everyday mean you have an axiety disorder ? 'Cause, well, okay. :S
Anyway, fresh starts are good. I can't actually see the situation so I don't know. But fresh starts are good, sometimes :?
icegirl., January 27th, 2009 at 12:41:42am