Momsy
Why is it that adults always think they know so much more than anyone that is younger? I understand that they have lived longer, but that doesn't mean that they have experienced everything. Especially when they have no idea what you’re going through. How can they possibly offer advice or guidance?
My mom refuses to accept the fact that I’m a lesbian. She says that’s not who I was or who I am. She thinks that it will “ruin” my life. I don’t understand what the big deal is. It’s not like I’m every other 15 year old that I go to school with that’s talking about smoking, drinking, doing drugs, and keeping the baby. I don’t have any of those problems. But, I’m still, in her eyes, a “trouble maker.”
My mother keeps telling me that nobody wants this life for me. But, that isn’t true. Doesn’t it matter what I want? It is my life after all. If I do end up ruining it, wouldn’t that be my problem? I’ve tried telling her this, but she insists that I’m too young to decide.
She keeps bringing up my great aunt that recently passed away. She tells me that her life was difficult in the lesbian life style and that she didn’t truly find happiness until it was too late. My great aunt married my uncle after she had already been diagnosed with cancer. She’s putting words in my Tia Mickey’s mouth. She isn’t here to speak for her self, so my mom seems to think that it’s alright for her to say what she might say. But, I’m not so sure that is the case. I never got the chance to talk to my aunt about this.
About a year ago, I got into trouble with my girlfriend at the time. We were caught kissing at a school function and the whole thing was blown out of proportion. Of course, my mother was furious. When my aunt came down to visit, I was supposed to tell her. My dad sat by me and practically yelled at me, because I wouldn’t tell her. I didn’t tell her, because I wanted to hear exactly what she had to say about it. Not the parent modified version. When I was telling her good-bye she hugged me and whispered in my ear, “Don’t ever let anyone tell you to be someone your not.” That was all she ever told me about that. So, I don’t see where, as my parents say, she wanted the chance to tell me how difficult her life had been.
My mom has recently taken everything that I have, just so that I wouldn’t continue seeing my current girlfriend. She thinks that taking away all that I have is going to keep me from seeing her. This girl means the world to me, and I’m not going to let my mom get in the way of my happiness. I’m set on this girl. Although my mother may not know it yet, she’s going to have to get used to the fact that Jillian will always be apart of my life.
All of these little things that my mother doesn't agree with, brings out this horrible person that I no longer love. I feel as if calling her mom doesn't make sense. I feel a little like Anne Frank and believe that a pet name such as hers for her mother... "Momsy," is more suitable.
My mom refuses to accept the fact that I’m a lesbian. She says that’s not who I was or who I am. She thinks that it will “ruin” my life. I don’t understand what the big deal is. It’s not like I’m every other 15 year old that I go to school with that’s talking about smoking, drinking, doing drugs, and keeping the baby. I don’t have any of those problems. But, I’m still, in her eyes, a “trouble maker.”
My mother keeps telling me that nobody wants this life for me. But, that isn’t true. Doesn’t it matter what I want? It is my life after all. If I do end up ruining it, wouldn’t that be my problem? I’ve tried telling her this, but she insists that I’m too young to decide.
She keeps bringing up my great aunt that recently passed away. She tells me that her life was difficult in the lesbian life style and that she didn’t truly find happiness until it was too late. My great aunt married my uncle after she had already been diagnosed with cancer. She’s putting words in my Tia Mickey’s mouth. She isn’t here to speak for her self, so my mom seems to think that it’s alright for her to say what she might say. But, I’m not so sure that is the case. I never got the chance to talk to my aunt about this.
About a year ago, I got into trouble with my girlfriend at the time. We were caught kissing at a school function and the whole thing was blown out of proportion. Of course, my mother was furious. When my aunt came down to visit, I was supposed to tell her. My dad sat by me and practically yelled at me, because I wouldn’t tell her. I didn’t tell her, because I wanted to hear exactly what she had to say about it. Not the parent modified version. When I was telling her good-bye she hugged me and whispered in my ear, “Don’t ever let anyone tell you to be someone your not.” That was all she ever told me about that. So, I don’t see where, as my parents say, she wanted the chance to tell me how difficult her life had been.
My mom has recently taken everything that I have, just so that I wouldn’t continue seeing my current girlfriend. She thinks that taking away all that I have is going to keep me from seeing her. This girl means the world to me, and I’m not going to let my mom get in the way of my happiness. I’m set on this girl. Although my mother may not know it yet, she’s going to have to get used to the fact that Jillian will always be apart of my life.
All of these little things that my mother doesn't agree with, brings out this horrible person that I no longer love. I feel as if calling her mom doesn't make sense. I feel a little like Anne Frank and believe that a pet name such as hers for her mother... "Momsy," is more suitable.
You forgot the part about how your "momsy" transferred you completely to a different school to get you two apart.
Your mother is blind. She sees how one person is treated for it and automatically thinks everyone who is like your aunt will get the same "punishment". Different lives bring different consequences. Every action you do brings a consequence...or a prize.
Talking back to your mother obviously isn't working. Don't argue with her. Just let it pass. Once you learn that restraint...that little willpower to keep your life, your thoughts shut from your mother, things will get better.
Blarg!,
She's tried finding middle ground. There is none with her mother. But you were right about avoid winning the war.
reject08,
I agree with your opinions...excluding the part about a perfect teenage life.
Schooldropout,
Her mother is blind...like I said before. You can't spontaniously bring up predictions about how one's life will soon come to be. She can't stop someone else from living their life, their own way.
Sexuality is something you are born with...or some tramatizing experience causes. You can't just say, "Oh...I'm straight now..." *three months later* "NO! I'M LESBIAN!!!". It doesn't work that way. Orientation is caused by an unequal amount of hormones in your body. You either have too many hormones or too little.
If you are changed by tramatizing experiences...well that's just caused by psychology...
~Saixx~
TheShadowChild., February 27th, 2009 at 09:40:14am
I can this fromt both sides of the fence
Your mother has seen the hardships of what it's like to grow up seeing her own sister being abused verbally and perhaps phsyically for her sexuality. She's seen the hate that it brings and the problems it causes first hand and she just doesn't want to see you go through that hate or those hardships your aunt went through.
I also see your side of the story when you just want to be you. Parents are always going to have problems with you wanting to do your own thing because they soon realize that your growing up, your going to go to college and your going to leave.
Conclusion...
Parents always have a hard time when they realize that their child is not straight. Sometime's it;s every parent's worst nightmare that their child is different and knows it. I got the whole abuse act but not fromt my parents. but fromt other people.
Your fifteen so just live your life and then make decisions on what your sexuality is. Because I know it will change more than once.
schooldropout, February 23rd, 2009 at 12:03:58pm
your mom has seen how hard it is for people who are gay/lesbian and doesn't want that for you. but the thing is, she saw how hard it was for them when SHE was young. the world is a more tolerant place. Sure, its going to be hard. but in reality, EVERYONE is going to have trouble with their life at some point whether they are gay or not! nothing is easy, someone will always make fun of you or be there to hurt you, gay or straight. I think your mom is trying to look out for you and like my mom and a lot of other moms she doesn't understand that being gay isn't a choice to live a hard life, it is a decision to be yourself and be happy. you can't pretend you are something you aren't by "choosing" to be straight. i guess she doesn't understand how hard it would be for you to be something you are not.
but, theres nothing you can do, really. adults have a hard time changing. even if you were straight she'd have something to pick at you about. she just wants you to have a perfect life, but no life is perfect, especially when you are this young. just try to stick it out and remember your mom just wants you to be happy. she has a skewed perception of what will make you happy. try not to argue, but don't change who you are. it will pass and eventually she'll understand.
suburban.zombie, February 23rd, 2009 at 01:18:18am
well, you know, some parents can be a bit ridiculous with those types of things. I think it's ridiculous that she went to the length of taking all your stuff away.. as if to teach you some kind of lesson, I guess?
sounds stupid, to me.
Tahm York, February 22nd, 2009 at 07:17:10pm
You were right in saying that your parents dont understand. It doesnt seem like they do. Still, your mother will always be your mother. Not too much to be done about it. I'm not saying your trying to fight a war with your mother, but avoid doing so at all costs. Attempt to find a middle-ground with your parents. Thats all advice I have to offer at any rate.
Blarg!, February 22nd, 2009 at 01:42:14pm