Sometimes.
My chest feels hollow and empty like I've somehow lost my heart. I'm cold, inside and out. My head weighs me down with thoughts and confusion. I feel trapped and lost. There's no one there. No one to come over and tell me it's going to be okay. To hold me until I cry myself to sleep. No friend, no other. It's just me. Sometimes it feels like that's all it'll ever be. But I always think there has to be something more out there for me. Where is it? What is it? All it's ever been is me dragging through the years. Sometimes I think I need help to feel happy. Sometimes I think I need help. I never let anyone know how I feel for fear of getting labeled, I never let anyone close enough to hurt me. Yet, somehow, they do. I hate ranting. I try my hardest to not complain, it rarely works. I annoy myself with self pity sometimes. I scold myself if I slightly think of my life as wrong. I hate it that I cry twice a month on the dot. Sometimes my anxiety disorder reaches new highs. Sometimes I think I'm going to pass out. I shake a lot now. I get dizzy more than I should. Sometimes I do pass out. Doctors don't care, why should I? I like to sleep, a lot. Sometimes I wish I could sleep all day. My mood swings are odd again. Sometimes I get so hyper everyone thinks I'm on something, then I crash within an hour. Sometimes I secretly wish I was on something. Sometimes I wish someone knew me, like I know them. I wish they would look at the world like I do. I wish they would observe and act. Sometimes I wish someone knew. Just sometimes.
:/
hollywood tragedy., November 29th, 2009 at 04:01:08pm
marissa.
if this is legit how you feel all the time we really need to talk ._.
this made me very sad.
ily hero
Fallop!an Cwac Cwac., November 27th, 2009 at 10:05:58pm
I had to stop for a minute after the 7th sentence punched me in the face.
Although I don't know you at all, I know how a good handful of this feels, and I know you'll come out of this stronger than before.
BREASTS, November 27th, 2009 at 01:22:24am
rissy,
you're one of the best people i know and i love you so much.
and everything that _______ said to you too.
i cant even put into words how much i hope you are happy.
because if you are not happy then im not and D:
i love you.
deus ex obstreperous, November 27th, 2009 at 12:11:00am
marissa.
i love you, and you're one of my best friends honestly.
i'm so sorry that you have to feel like this. you deserve a lot more.
but maybe one day you'll look back on all of this, and find something good that came out of it.
you know that if you ever need to talk, i'll try my best to be here for you.
|:
dorian gray., November 27th, 2009 at 12:07:43am