a day in the life of stephanie

i begin my day by waking up. you see, i have no idea what hour it is though, because of the blanket that blocks my window, so in my world, it is a consistent nighttime. i wake up at twelve a.m. i do not feel as if i am p. diddy though, much to mine, and the rest of the world's dismay. i then proceed out the door, but first i make sure to grab hold of my eye uv ray protectors. i then notice that i have fuzzy slippers upon each of my teeth. oh no! i go to brush my teeth, but i see that there is no toothpaste. i reach among my medicine cabinet, and find a saviour--a bottle of jack. thank jesus for that! i brush my teeth, you see, i always do it for exactly sixty seconds, because my toothbrush plays music. hannah montana, to be exact. after avoiding this almost horrid tooth calamity, i leave for the night. and i have no further intentions of returning to my home. i happen to look down and see that my toesies are nasty sick, so i decide to go and get a pedicure. as i'm going to see my favourite pedicurist, someone mentions that my clothes are straight WACK. so i go back to my home and try on more outfits to see if something is more appropos. whilst doing this i get many a phone call. i do believe my phone is just going to explode! i get into my car, and pop a cd into the cd player. it is one of my all time favourites! i begin attempting to get slightly drunk. i proceed to tell people "please, do not cease these actions! man playing this music, make my speakers have a seizure! tonight i shall be violent. until i see the light from the sun peeking through my windows. the clock is doing its monotonous ticking and tocking. but this party shall not come to an end" now, i know that doesn't make sense, but hey what do you expect? this is coming from a girl who just went out to get slightly drunk. the slightly turned into a bit more. anyways. i came to an epiphany. i have not a worry in the world, but i have lots of things that rhyme with queer, i have no money in my pockets, but hey--that doesn't mean anything! i've already arrived. then i see boys lining up. silly boys. but i'm going to rid of them, unless they look old and wrinkly. i continue these actions until they have to forcibly remove me. or until the police force must get involved in my life.

after this, i return back to my home, despite saying that i wouldn't do it. and i go to bed, feeling a hot mess.

i wake up the next bright and shiny morning, and, lather, rinse repeat what i did the night before.



and that is a day in the life of stephanie