The Wonderful Stranger (Another preservation)
The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Harry strode along the path, making for Cute Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Sexy Lube, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Penis.
A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his skimpy thong just in time to face the handsome man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.
The man struck happily, and Harry barely raised his thong to meet the attack. They fought long and tightly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.
At last, Harry found himself forced to one knee, the man's thong pressed to his amazing hand. "I am Draco of Cute Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Sexy Lube. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on a table."
But Harry had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his thong with a twist, overpowered Draco and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Harry said, looking down upon him.
Draco's mouth shimmered like he was on fire. "I have underestimated you, Harry. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."
Harry's desire was enflamed. His hand throbbed and all his thoughts were to lick Draco like a dog. Harry caressed Draco's tight mouth and he responded. They came together angrily, and their joining was as large as their battle, and also much louder.
"Ah, my sweet vibrator!" Harry groaned and licked Draco as huskily as he could.
"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"
"Oh," Harry said. "That's where I put the Sexy Lube for safekeeping. Sorry."
When they had finished their romp, they drowsed roughly on the grass, forgetful of all but their hilarious love. "We will stay together forever," Draco said, and they began all over again.
And so it was that the Wizard Penis never got the Sexy Lube and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.
(from here.)
A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his skimpy thong just in time to face the handsome man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.
The man struck happily, and Harry barely raised his thong to meet the attack. They fought long and tightly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.
At last, Harry found himself forced to one knee, the man's thong pressed to his amazing hand. "I am Draco of Cute Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Sexy Lube. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on a table."
But Harry had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his thong with a twist, overpowered Draco and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Harry said, looking down upon him.
Draco's mouth shimmered like he was on fire. "I have underestimated you, Harry. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."
Harry's desire was enflamed. His hand throbbed and all his thoughts were to lick Draco like a dog. Harry caressed Draco's tight mouth and he responded. They came together angrily, and their joining was as large as their battle, and also much louder.
"Ah, my sweet vibrator!" Harry groaned and licked Draco as huskily as he could.
"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"
"Oh," Harry said. "That's where I put the Sexy Lube for safekeeping. Sorry."
When they had finished their romp, they drowsed roughly on the grass, forgetful of all but their hilarious love. "We will stay together forever," Draco said, and they began all over again.
And so it was that the Wizard Penis never got the Sexy Lube and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.
(from here.)
I have an entire word document of Top Gear these, ya know xD
TO BE DELETED, August 26th, 2010 at 11:20:56am
Lmao that is funny. Here's what it came up with for my words:
Juice and Cat were out for a clear Valentine's walk under the starry sky. As they went, Cat rested her hand on Juice's penis. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so disgusting, Juice was filled with hard dread.
"Do you suppose it's runny here?" he asked carfully.
"You purple silly," Cat said, tickling Juice with her opening. "It's completely beautiful."
Just then, a wet dinosaur leapt out from behind a xbox and punched Cat in the left breast. "Aaargh!" Cat screamed.
Things looked liquid. But Juice, although he was shiny, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a toilet and, like a metalhead burdened with hellogoodbye music on a daily basis, beat the dinosaur terribly until it ran off. "That will teach you to punch innocent people."
Then he clasped Cat close. Cat was bleeding forcefully. "My darling," Juice said, and pressed his lips to Cat's finger.
"I love you," Cat said gently, and expired in Juice's arms.
Juice never loved again.
suburban.zombie, August 25th, 2010 at 09:24:58pm
OMG I DIED.
TO BE DELETED, August 25th, 2010 at 06:39:27am