moving from one country to another

I want to move to Germany. I feel like it's my destiny. Yeah, that might sound cheesy or whatever, but I feel like I'll be extremely happy there. I love the language, I love the way the words sound, I love the people (the ones I've met seem nice to me) and I love the culture. The food is pretty damn good (assuming they make authentic German food here). Well, the point is, I love it. Don't ask how it started. Pinpointing the exact time and place of how my infatuation for a country/culture/people started is really hard to do.

The fact is, I love it. I want to go there. I've never wanted something so badly in my life as I want this. My German isn't that great, I'd say it's average at the best. I can understand more than I can speak. I don't care though, I know I'll be able to pick up on it really quickly if I live there. I remember when I went to Costa Rica five years ago, knowing very little Spanish, but picking up on it pretty easily by hearing other people speak it, even if they were talking really fast. Plus, I have an ear for languages....
I want this so bad.. I want it like lonely people want love. I want it so badly.... I can't hardly describe it. I've never had a mental pull to a certain way of life before. I tend to just go with the flow, generally it's in a good way, sometimes it's not. But now... Moving to Germany? I'm not sure how that can be bad in any way. I think it's a damn good thing. Sure, it'll cost an arm and a leg, but I wouldn't mind sacrificing that.. If I literally had to chop off an arm and a leg, that would suck, but I'd do it if it meant I got to go to Germany.

I wonder how strange this probably sounds to anyone reading this who doesn't have a strong passion for something like this...
It's just hard to explain. If I live there, I think I'll be happier than I've ever been in my life. I don't know it for sure, but as the saying goes: You only live once. So why should I not go for it? Hopefully I can pick up on the language quickly, and hopefully it won't cost me an arm and a leg. Hopefully, it will actually happen.

I guess the only problem is the guy I'm dating. I don't really want to leave him. I like being with him and.. .well. Leaving him will be the hardest part of leaving. Because I really like him. Love him, even. So leaving is not going to be easy. Not at all. I wish I could just take him in my pocket. I guess that's what I originally wanted this blog to be about. Well, there's my rant for now. I needed to release all these pent up feelings somehow.
Posted on September 16th, 2010 at 02:21pm


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