Losing the only thing I ever loved.

When I was younger I didn't have many friends. I was pretty lonely. I swear this ties in. It was September 2002 when my mom said we were going to get a new dog. I was overly excited, And when we got there I saw two Pit bull puppies, maybe six months old. One was a friendly, all black, Social, Beautiful pup. The other hid under a table. He was a brindle, scared, quiet guy. The people said he was kinda a loner and the other dogs didn't play with him. He also turned out to be the sweetest dog .
And that was it. I knew this Dog was meant for me. I named him Tigger. We both needed a true friend. Over the next three years my parents were fighting a lot. I'd go out side to cry and I was always joined by Tigger holding his paw out to me. I never was alone during this time. He'd always play with me, and try to always make me smile. He slept next to me on my bed. once he even over came his own fears of thunder to stand up and bark at it for me.
He never left my side, Until Sunday night he slept on my floor [he couldn't get on the bed any more]. I told him everything, and he was always there for me with a paw out. Over the years I grew up always having Tigger by my side, listening to my problems. When I had no friends he was there. When I did make friends I always made sure Tigger liked them. He knew what was best for me, more than I did.
The first time I saw he was getting old was about a year ago, I cried that whole night.
A month ago I noticed him not getting up. I sat there trying to move him for an hour before I knew it his breathing started getting shallow. I freaked out, Shaking him and crying. Telling him how he couldn't leave me yet.. How I still needed him in my life. He started doing better at that point.
Now for the end of this story. Monday I came home. Tigger hadn't moved the whole weekend, I saw him laying in the same place he was sunday night. Sunday night I had laid down with him on the blanket in the living room, Told him I loved him and Went to bed. But Monday, he got up and followed me to my room. I really thought this meant he was getting better. My mother got home early and I went to great her. Tigger followed, My mom started to tell me how we needed to take him to the vet Tuesday, And how he might not have much longer. This hit me hard. I took him out side after I talked to my mom about how I wanted "to be with him when he was put down". I stood out side crying about it, watching Tigger and Tigger watching me. I wanted to go inside and take a million pictures of him, I wanted to remember him as best I could. When we went inside He stopped at the door between the hall and the Kitchen.
He started to slide down and I ran over holding him in my arms, My mom also ran over, She made me stop shaking him and just hold him. I did. I didn't know what was happening but I did say "I love you" one last time before My dog died in my arms. It was, as my mom put it, almost like he waited for me to be there, to know he wouldn't be there much longer, and for some one to be there when it happened to make sure I would be okay.
I cried.. I'm still crying. He wasn't just my dog, He was my best friend. and nothing can ever change that. I loved this dog for no other reason than I just did. And this week had been the worst in my whole life. There is a void in me I know will never be filled. I no longer have a dog to hold and to talk to. I never thought I would actually lose him. To some people he may just seem like a dog, But trust me. He was never 'just my dog' He was so much more than words can ever say, and I loved him, Honestly.
Posted on September 17th, 2010 at 08:30pm


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