I Miss You More Every Day

Almost three months ago, my grandfather passed away suddenly from a heart attack. He was 82 years old. Ever since then, it's been so hard for me to even begin to think that he's not around anymore. You'd think seeing him in his casket at the wake or attending his funeral mass would be closure enough, but honestly, it was just the beginning.
I never realized how fortunate I was to have such a loving and caring grandfather. I guess I always just took his presence for granted. Part of me wanted to believe that he'd be with us forever and he wouldn't die someday. But obviously, this life will come to an end for all of us some day. And for my grandfather, it came sooner than anyone ever expected even though he was in his eighties.
My grandfather and my grandmother have been together since they were teenagers. She was 17 and he was 19 when they met at a roller skating rink years ago. They've been inseparable ever since. Together, they brought six beautiful children into this world and raised them in a suburb of Boston. They were also dedicated to their children and loved them for who they were then and who they came to be. Six years ago, a tragedy struck in their family, one of their sons passed away. It was heartbreaking to see my grandparents go through such a hard time because let's face it, no one ever wants to loose a child. But, they stuck together through and through.
This past summer, my grandmother was gravely ill and was in the hospital for a matter of weeks. She had to have 2/3s of her large intestine removed. She developed an infection and became seriously ill. My grandfather, who required oxygen to help his breathing, made it to the hospital more than once every day to sit by her bedside to keep her company. You could tell she loved his presence. She looked so much more happier and so much more healthier with him there. To make a long story short, she gained her health back and was discharged from the hospital in late August. She still was sick well into October and was only feeling like her normal self for a matter of weeks before her husband's death.
The hardest part about my grandfather's passing is that my grandparents never really got to spend their last days together as a couple doing the things they loved. Instead, they spent them in a hospital room, praying together that my grandmother would live when only months later, it would be my grandfather to pass on. It's hard for my grandmother. She's so resilient and is strong. She hardly ever shows her true grief. She's trying to make the best of it. She's trying to get out of the house more to take her mind off of things. I don't think after nearly 60 years of marriage that I could do what she's doing. Of course, she has her moments when her truth grief shows itself and we all rally around her to help her through it. It's just so hard to see her sad. Her spirits have always been so uplifting, even when she was sick and in the hospital.
As my grandfather's 83rd birthday approaches in February, I know it'll be a hard day for everyone. This next year will be particularly hard on my grandmother as she makes her first milestones without her true love. I just hope she can get through it okay.
But Grandpa, I wanted to let you know that I love you very much and I miss you every day. I hope you are looking out for Nana and are helping her through this in some special way.