My life in a can
Everyone can feel when they're finally 'growing up'. When I grew up I realized it was when I lost my innocence. I believe it's the same for everyone. There are many ways you can lose your innocence. It can happen to you by watching someone die, feeling the pain afterwards, coming to terms with the fact that you have to be independent from this point on, learning the difference between being sad and depressed and letting life do whatever the fuck it wants to do. On my 15th birthday, I had realized that all these things happened to me, and I felt for the first time in my life that I was no longer that child I always thought I was. I might still be treated like one, but in no way was I a child anymore.
Learning about life was difficult for me. I guess it is for every teenager, because apparently we're all "punk, gothic or emo" and we're all as equally depressed as eachother. It's hard to believe that anyone is more depressed then yourself, but at the same time it's hard to believe the statistics that 1 in 3 people have never been depressed in their lives.
I always thought it could happen to absolutley anyone. I come from a typical middle class family, I have two older sisters who have looked after me through life and think of me as their own child. My father was never much of a role model to me but my mum was and always will be my lifeline. Sometimes, however, I catch myself subconsiously thinking to myself that I'd rather be a drug addict on the side of the road with no family and no life apart from drugs. I think the reason for that is because the only thing stopping me from living a carefree life full of drugs and rock and roll, is my family. I force myself to thank them for that in a way. My family is great, I go to a private Greek school but I'm going throughout life unnoticed and neglected and if I have to live life like that, I'd rather do it my own way, so at least I can enjoy it.
Learning about life was difficult for me. I guess it is for every teenager, because apparently we're all "punk, gothic or emo" and we're all as equally depressed as eachother. It's hard to believe that anyone is more depressed then yourself, but at the same time it's hard to believe the statistics that 1 in 3 people have never been depressed in their lives.
I always thought it could happen to absolutley anyone. I come from a typical middle class family, I have two older sisters who have looked after me through life and think of me as their own child. My father was never much of a role model to me but my mum was and always will be my lifeline. Sometimes, however, I catch myself subconsiously thinking to myself that I'd rather be a drug addict on the side of the road with no family and no life apart from drugs. I think the reason for that is because the only thing stopping me from living a carefree life full of drugs and rock and roll, is my family. I force myself to thank them for that in a way. My family is great, I go to a private Greek school but I'm going throughout life unnoticed and neglected and if I have to live life like that, I'd rather do it my own way, so at least I can enjoy it.
I lost my innocence when I saw someone die.
They were hit by a car infront of my eyes when I was 12.
I sorta want it back..
Feels like I didn't get all the childhood I could have had..
germma margaret!, March 31st, 2007 at 03:44:21am
Thanks for the comments..
I think everyone's a bit emo. Seriously, the only reason tease 'emo' people is because they want to show people that they themselves aren't emo. One thing about depression is that most people don't know they have it. Being sad is just a symptom of it.
Other symptoms of depression are
moodiness that is out of character
increased irritability and frustration
finding it hard to take minor personal criticisms
spending less time with friends and family
loss of interest in food, sex, exercise or other pleasurable activities
being awake throughout the night
increased alcohol and drug use
staying home from work or school
increased physical health complaints like fatigue or pain
being reckless or taking unnecessary risks (e.g. driving fast or dangerously)
slowing down of thoughts and actions.
I just copy and pasted them from a site I found a few years back called beyondblue.org
Saddness is when something happens that upsets you to a high extent. Usually depression doesn't even have to have a cause.
(Also, I think most people get a bit emo at least once in their lives, they just hide it by teasing other people about it)
adrea, March 30th, 2007 at 09:50:44pm
Since you seem to know alot about the topic id just like to ask a question. Is being angry at life considered being depressed? I thought being depressed meant you were kinda sad and stuff like that. It seems for me whenever im thinking about anything that doesnt really relate to what i enjoy doing im pissed off because there is at least 1 negitive side to it. So am i in a constant depression or am i just too "emo" about things?
Blarg!, March 30th, 2007 at 08:40:13pm
Losing your innocence is tough when you lose it a little too early in life. I understand though. For me it's really really hard because I tend not to think about reality, and once it hits me, it hits me hard.
threeam., March 30th, 2007 at 08:20:08pm