Abusive Siblings

Anji:

lyrical_mess:

Yes, they fight, meaning it comes from both sides. I'd be fine with my brother yelling at me for going into his room or hitting me for calling him names or something.

He hits me if I don't go down to the store and get him a snack. He chokes me if I don't hand over the remote. He hit me with a freaking frying pan because "he felt like it." and often pretends to throw knives at me. He'll pick up a knife and pretend to throw it and then not throw it. He'll follow me around the house with it. It's scary. And he doesn't have a whole lot of self control. I don't want that knife to slip out of his fingers.

I like how you've described living with my sister.

Seriously? Your sister does that?

And I have a new, wonderful thing to add to my list. My awesome grandpa moved in with us and he has this cool wooden cane. Cuz he'd old. My brother like to take it and wack my on the shins with it.

Hahaha, of course. Once my sister stapled my head. I couldn't stop laughing at the time, I thought it was funny. I couldn't feel any pain anyway.

Flaming Phalanges!:

I died without a name:

you should call the cops or something

To be honest, that's a ridiculous thing to say.

why?

I died without a name:

Flaming Phalanges!:

I died without a name:

you should call the cops or something

To be honest, that's a ridiculous thing to say.

why?

Why? Because it's your own brother or sister!

a) It'll break up your family
b) It'll make things a lot worse because they'll want revenge
c) Nothing would get done anyway, because it's just "sibling rivalry"
and d) At the end of the day, he's my brother.

So yes, I stand by my opinion that your statement was utterly ridiculous and not worthwhile at all.

I suppose you get on well with your brother or sister or maybe you don't have any, so this sounds horrific to you, but it's life for us, and it's how it's always been. And 17 years in, I'm not gonna suddenly decide to call the police on my own brother, because at the end of the day, he's gonna grow up, and why should I try and ruin that if it's gonna be better for me in the long run?

Flaming Phalanges!:

I died without a name:

Flaming Phalanges!:

I died without a name:

you should call the cops or something

To be honest, that's a ridiculous thing to say.

why?

Why? Because it's your own brother or sister!

a) It'll break up your family
b) It'll make things a lot worse because they'll want revenge
c) Nothing would get done anyway, because it's just "sibling rivalry"
and d) At the end of the day, he's my brother.

So yes, I stand by my opinion that your statement was utterly ridiculous and not worthwhile at all.

I suppose you get on well with your brother or sister or maybe you don't have any, so this sounds horrific to you, but it's life for us, and it's how it's always been. And 17 years in, I'm not gonna suddenly decide to call the police on my own brother, because at the end of the day, he's gonna grow up, and why should I try and ruin that if it's gonna be better for me in the long run?

i know from expierence that if yu go and see your social worker or school teacher they will call the police and they then will come out and talk to your brother or sister

Lucifers Angel:

Flaming Phalanges!:

I died without a name:

Flaming Phalanges!:

I died without a name:

you should call the cops or something

To be honest, that's a ridiculous thing to say.

why?

Why? Because it's your own brother or sister!

a) It'll break up your family
b) It'll make things a lot worse because they'll want revenge
c) Nothing would get done anyway, because it's just "sibling rivalry"
and d) At the end of the day, he's my brother.

So yes, I stand by my opinion that your statement was utterly ridiculous and not worthwhile at all.

I suppose you get on well with your brother or sister or maybe you don't have any, so this sounds horrific to you, but it's life for us, and it's how it's always been. And 17 years in, I'm not gonna suddenly decide to call the police on my own brother, because at the end of the day, he's gonna grow up, and why should I try and ruin that if it's gonna be better for me in the long run?

i know from expierence that if yu go and see your social worker or school teacher they will call the police and they then will come out and talk to your brother or sister

but yes you are right he will grow up, and grow out of what he is doing

I seriously can't believe you guys are justifying abusive behavior. "Oh, we're related, so therefore its ok for my sibling to put my life in harms way for their benifit" That is ridiculous and just silly. Related or not, no one has the right to abuse you and cause you harm. Do parents have the right to beat the living hell ouf of a little kid because they are family? Should nothing be done about it because it might "break up the family"? You guys are taking this way too lightly. Little sybling conflicts aren't abuse. If you have a physically abusive, dangerous enviorment, you need to tell someone. If a relative, brother, sister, whatever, is treating you like that, first off they aren't acting like family at all and secondly they need help. Punishment is correction. If our actions have no consequences, then we learn nothing. And don't even say they will grow out of it. You can say they could, but you can also say one day they'll get carried away with their idiotic, abusive behavior and someone might be seriously injured.

Flaming Phalanges!:

c) Nothing would get done anyway, because it's just "sibling rivalry"

That's completely and totally false. If you were to call the police to report domestic violence or something of that sort, it wouldn't matter who was commiting the crime, the law applies equally regardless of personal relationships. There is a gigantic difference between sibling rivalry and abuse.

Honestly, I think my brother and I have started to grow out of it recently. He still does the knife thing and it scares the living shit outta me, but he's gotten...calmer lately. I dunno. Perhaps we're subconciously cherishing our time together because he's going away to colllllegeeee *dances*

Not that I'm, y'know...happy or anything...*cough* No seriously. It's calmed down. And what he does to me isn't as extreme as what happens to FP or Dru or Anji. But the fact remains: it happens to people. And who knows, what if it's a growing trend? It'd be best to try and cut it off now.

I guess my family is just so crazy then that our parents fed us a load of family propaganda with messages like, 'We're family, we can do what ever we like to you.' and, 'It's OK for you guys to kill eachother just because you're sibiling, and it's OK for us to hurt you cause we're all family and that's whats most important.'

This is how I was brought up, and it's not wrong. My sister stapled my head, she loves me. That's how it is, I don't care what anybody else says.

I reallly have to ask: what did it feel like?

lyrical_mess:

I reallly have to ask: what did it feel like?

Like a dog, a little dog with fangs biting you in the head.

Actually, any old thing with fangs biting you in the head. I just said dog cause my dog bit me two days ago.

Kurtni:

I seriously can't believe you guys are justifying abusive behavior. "Oh, we're related, so therefore its ok for my sibling to put my life in harms way for their benifit" That is ridiculous and just silly. Related or not, no one has the right to abuse you and cause you harm. Do parents have the right to beat the living hell ouf of a little kid because they are family? Should nothing be done about it because it might "break up the family"? You guys are taking this way too lightly. Little sybling conflicts aren't abuse. If you have a physically abusive, dangerous enviorment, you need to tell someone. If a relative, brother, sister, whatever, is treating you like that, first off they aren't acting like family at all and secondly they need help. Punishment is correction. If our actions have no consequences, then we learn nothing. And don't even say they will grow out of it. You can say they could, but you can also say one day they'll get carried away with their idiotic, abusive behavior and someone might be seriously injured.

Flaming Phalanges!:

c) Nothing would get done anyway, because it's just "sibling rivalry"

That's completely and totally false. If you were to call the police to report domestic violence or something of that sort, it wouldn't matter who was commiting the crime, the law applies equally regardless of personal relationships. There is a gigantic difference between sibling rivalry and abuse.

Would you report your brother or sister?

Would you risk your family?

Would you want to put them in prison even though at the end of the day there are good sides to them?


It's SO easy for you to say because you don't deal with it. You have no idea how things are, because it's different between husband and wife, because you can leave them forever. But I would never be able to 'leave' my brother, and I wouldn't want to. Because yeah, he treats me like complete shite, but when we get on, we get on.

He hasn't put me seriosuly at risk, just bad bruises and cuts, but that's nothing compared to what it could be.

So no, I will not try and get my brother put in prison.


And what use is it getting some stranger to come and talk to your brother, when someone who knows them and has raised them can't get him to grow out of it in 5 seconds flat.

Flaming Phalanges!:

Would you report your brother or sister?

Would you risk your family?

Would you want to put them in prison even though at the end of the day there are good sides to them?


It's SO easy for you to say because you don't deal with it. You have no idea how things are, because it's different between husband and wife, because you can leave them forever. But I would never be able to 'leave' my brother, and I wouldn't want to. Because yeah, he treats me like complete shite, but when we get on, we get on.

He hasn't put me seriosuly at risk, just bad bruises and cuts, but that's nothing compared to what it could be.

So no, I will not try and get my brother put in prison.


And what use is it getting some stranger to come and talk to your brother, when someone who knows them and has raised them can't get him to grow out of it in 5 seconds flat.

I love how you must be psychic and know what I've had to "deal with" and what I haven't. I choose not to bring personal issues into debates because I find it to be silly, and I know that what applies to me doesn't apply to everyone else in the world. I never said anything about you leaving your brother, in fact I never said anything about your personal relationships at all, and how could I? It isn't as if I've experienced them.

You're acting as if every family is functional enough to have their problems solved and as if everyones families just give them "a few bad bruises". Sorry, that's idealistic and unrealistic, some people have it so much worse than that. Some peoples lives are threatened on a daily basis by their sibilings, and you're saying they shouldn't do anything about it? That it's ok for them to be in such danger? No, it's not, and no one should have to live in constant fear like that. My idea of a family is a group of people who you love and trust, and who care about you. Someone who does things that endanger your state of well being does not love you, they don't care about you, and are only thinking of themself and their situation.

I think it's the same situation that abused men/women have to put up with in marriages and romantic relationships. Because from one side, you know it sucks, you know you want it to stop and that it shouldn't even be happening and there's an impulse to tell someone. But on the other side, it's someone you love, someone you know and care about and would it really be okay for you to just throw that away? Kind of like "what if they're right?". Like if kid A screams at his sibling B "you suck. I hate you. You're a selfish piece of shit. You're stupid." etc, then B might feel like telling the police really would be selfish of him.