My Story Pt. Two

Ashley and I hit it off from the start. Going to each other's house often and hanging out every second of the day at school. She gave me some more of a personality and I discovered loads of music choices from her. We were even in choir together. We stalked one guy that we both liked, and even hated the same people. We have many memories together that we would never change for the world. After 6th grade, we went to the same junior high, again, since the other closed down and our friendship still hasn't changed.

7th grade was here and soon the rumors started. The labels were put on. Everyone you once knew hated you, and you are the outcast. I met many of my best friends throughout that year that I still have today. Anyways, lying took place, even more then it ever has. I discovered that I had many opinions, and strong ones at that. But, along with it came lies. I was trying to help one of my ex best friends through her life, because I made her trust me. In return, I lied to her face. My excuse, is that I didn't want her to feel alone. Not only is that my excuse, but it's the truth. I wanted her to overcome what she was doing to herself, because I knew she was a better person then that. So I lied, saying that I too had the exact same problem she had, but my cousin 'Shayna' helped me. All I ever wanted was her to stop and she did for a little bit, and I felt accomplished, but also guilty. I never had her problem. I don't have a cousin named Shayna. I also lied about her boyfriend George. He isn't made up like Shayna, and he really did die from suicide. Anyway, I made a lot of people believe I had a cousin named Shayna and she had a boyfriend named George. Add that to the list full of mistakes.

8th grade, kind of the same problems. Just a different person, and it was way different. I really, really wanted to help a friend stop doing stuff, so I told her a bunch of things that weren't true. I've never tried to OD before, but always wanted to. I've never taken more then the prescribed amount of pills. Things that are true, that I have been slicing up my legs lately. Bit I over came that. I put the pill bottle away so I wouldn't think of anything stupid and have a pen and paper nearby when I really need it.

I never meant to hurt anyone. Or tell the lies over and over again. But it happened. The past is the past because I'm already thinking about tomorrow. Thank you for reading, and being content while doing so. I gave my best reasons, and I hope that no one got hurt so horribly, like I've hurt myself. I'm sorry an i've repaid most of my lies off. But, you can never really pay off a lie. Or fix a friendship that you fucked up. Yet, i'm moving on and looking forward to the future.
Posted on April 12th, 2007 at 12:12am


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