for the first time in a long time, i cried.

My older brothers always told me that crying is a sign of weakness. So as I grew older, I've held in all of my tears and my pain. But I learned that it's okay to cry. I learned this by finally crying for the first time in a long, long time in my technology class in school.

Someone finally pushed me over the "edge" in technology class and I tried holding in everything that wanted to come out, but I failed... I went in the back room, and my teacher followed me [he saw the whole thing that made me want to cry]. as i walked in the back room, he shut the door behind him and I just.. hugged my teacher and cried on his shoulder. I sobbed and hugged him tighter than I have ever hugged anyone in my life, and it was pretty wierd because the guy was my teacher. I hugged him until I was done crying and a "thank you" came out from my mouth. He looked really confused and sympathetic. And then I told him about how I haven't cried in a long time and he told me all of this stuff about how it's alright to cry and it's not healthy to hold in all of your pain.

Deep down inside of me still doesn't want me to cry, so I still find it hard to. I've grown up all of my life thinking that it's not alright to cry.. so it's hard.
Posted on April 14th, 2007 at 10:45pm

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