I Can't Take Anymore Of My Fathers Shit.

My father. He doesn't deserve to be called "Dad" or "Daddy". He abondoned me for the first eleven years of my life. My mom was working to help support me, and yet we still never had enough money to rent a house. So we had to move in with my grandpaerents. My mom was always at work, so she was almost never there for the first nine years of my life, until she lost her job.

For my twelth birthday, my father said he was going to get me a great, wonderfull, extravagant birthday gift. This may make me sound spoiled, but everyone thought I deserved it, even I thought I did. And I was excited, it was going to be my first birthday party where my dad was actually going to be there to wish me a happy birthday.

He showed up an hour late.

My father showed up at my birthday party with a cake, that he had remembered to pick up from the dairy queen, next to the roller rink that my party was at. We didn't even need the cake, we already had one.

So his birthday came around. When I was visiting him, he said "It's my birthday, what are you getting me?". What kind of shit is that? I go eleven years without a birthday gift, without him by my side to suppport me, while he went off and got a great job, with a huge paycheck. So he expects me to get him a birthday gift? No fucking way!

When I turned thirteen, I didn't even have a birthday party, because my mom couldn't afford one, neither could anyone else in my family. I could have had a birthday party, if the check that he gave my mom hadn't bounced. He didn't even decide to call me on my birthday.

Just two days ago, he came to my door, asking how I was, and asking why I had never called him. I so badly wanted to say because I hated him.

I know this maybe bade me sound like a selfish little bitch, whinning over a birthday present. But it's not just the birthday present. It's the fact that I was supposed to enjoy a special occaision with my father, and he completely ruined my fun. It's also because I had to spend a the first decade of my life jealous, because all of my friends were "Daddy's little girl". They always had their fathers by their sides, and they always had daddy to run to when they needed help. I always had to everything on my own (which is probably why I'm more independant then them now).

In a couple of years, my grandpa is going to retire. He's not going to be able to afford the house we live in now. If my mom were to get a job, she would probably get payed minimum wage. She too lazy to get a job anyways. So what's going to happpen to my mom and I? We're going to be living in a box. I, of course, have the option of living with my father. But I love my mom, and I would choose her over my father, anyday.
Posted on May 5th, 2007 at 06:01pm


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