I'm having a hard time
My head is scrambled, I can't think. My uncle is dying and a part of me just wants it to be over with. I find it selfish but this is keeping me up all night. One day they call and said he's not going to make it through the night and he's lasted a fuckin' week. I'm scared and I'm not aloud to see him. I can't call him on the phone since he's too weak, he can't take letters since it's one of those heavily sanitary rooms that don't allow anything 'foreign' to enter, and I can't say good bye to him. I can't even remember if I told him that I loved him the last time we met.
I'm not used to doing this, I've never done a blog or really told people how I feel on the inside, I'm just happy-go-lucky and hyper. This is weird for me. I hope he doesn't die but I don't want him to suffer, fuck.
I'm not used to doing this, I've never done a blog or really told people how I feel on the inside, I'm just happy-go-lucky and hyper. This is weird for me. I hope he doesn't die but I don't want him to suffer, fuck.
You're not being selfish at all. I'd be the same way if my uncle was dying.
The Evil Alchemist, January 24th, 2007 at 05:12:48pm
I dont think youre selfish in wanting him to die.
I wanted my Nan too, she was sick with cancer.
She wasnt her anymore and I had to go and visit her everyday.
she was in a lot of pain and yeah, she wanted to go.
Magazine Sickness., January 23rd, 2007 at 10:53:42am
My aunt died of cancer too =/
Anneka-Rice, January 22nd, 2007 at 07:38:09am
Alot of things have happened to him this year that's keeping him in the hospital. He broke his hip when he fell while he was sick, he got pnemonia, and now he has cancer that doctors knew of for years, they just didn't tell him. I think I am going to write a letter, maybe it will get my head out of the clouds and I can do my normal things again without worrying if I ever said I loved him or gave him a proper good bye. Thanks guys.
ha_ha_you're_screwed, January 21st, 2007 at 08:51:31am
My aunt died 6 years ago yesterday... I dont know if i told her how much i loved her, I dont know if i told her how close i felt to her... I was only 8 and now i fear i'm losing memory of her.
Its a horrible thing to go through. I remember when i found out she was going to.. i felt so sick, I nearly was. PM me if you want to chat. xx
Anneka-Rice, January 21st, 2007 at 07:53:28am
You know, if it were me, I would write a letter anyways. Even if you can't send it, just write a letter addressed to him and keep it somewhere safe. Tell him whatever you want to tell him in that letter, and it should help get out a lot of those emotions and stuff. I did that once, and it helps tremendously. But that's just me.
What happened to your uncle? It sucks having to watch people close to you suffer like that, I know. Try and remember all the times you spent with him when he was WELL, don't focus so much on his death. It's hard to get over, I know. My dad's had cancer for a few years and let me tell you, it's been awful watching him slowly suffer and decline, to the point where it hurts him to walk and he can't do all the things he likes to do. It's hard, but you have to try REALLY hard to remain optimistic, even after his death. And find people you can talk to, or at least some outlets or hobbies that can distract you whenever you're at a low. I'm really sorry, my best wishes for your family.
Funky Platypus, January 21st, 2007 at 01:24:29am
Well, he can't be happy now, with the condition he's in. At least when this is over, you'll both have piece of mind, that doesnt make you selfish at all.
Kurtni, January 21st, 2007 at 12:02:28am
Shenanigan123, January 20th, 2007 at 11:24:12pm