I hope you had the time of your life
So today was the official last day of my first eight year schooling. Elementary school ended. I could write that it had finally ended, but I wont. It just doesn't feel that way. These eight years seem to had pass by so quickly. Its as if I turned around and all those perky 6-years olds grew up to be teenagers; one so different from another. I just cant help it, but to think about everything over and over. My brain is working fearlessly today, trying to remember everything and safely store it into little boxes in my brain. I wonder what should say on those boxes. Best years of my life? Or the worst? Well, whatever it says I know I wont be satisfied with it.
My feelings are just so mixed up today. I am relieved. I have finished the school year with top grades and I will get accepted to the high-school I want. No more work for another three months. I feel happy as any pupil feels when school is finally over. Finally, finally... I just get in touch with that finally. Its unacceptable. I cant believe its over. The teachers didn't say see you all next year. They gave advice on how to handle a new school, new teachers, new „school-mates.“ Ah, what a horrible term. School-mates. None of these kids are my school-mates. They are labeled as friends, enemies, sluts, morons, nerds, weirdos, goody-two-shoes, pranksters... Their labels, good or bad, are human. They have a personal touch. School-mate doesn't. Its so plain. And thats what everyone is going to be next September, just a school-mate. Now, I know a lot of kids are happy to go, no more torture, but I don't feel tortured. I don't hold grouches anyway, so everyone is forgiven. People say high-school is better, but I am seriously afraid I wont be able to handle it. Teachers, grades... Less important to me. Friends, real friends... Now thats what concerns me. My mom told me that its natural to feel a lost, but I honestly feel like a whole part of me has been ferociously taken away without my acceptance. She also said that later on I will feel better and forgot about everyone by time. But I would hate that. I would hate to forgot these wonderful times I had. 8.a forever together! Ha, I highly doubt it, but no matter what, we were one. One class, one little community. I want it to stay that way forever. But its over. There is no 8.a anymore. But I like to think we have a special bond between us. We grew up together. And now, saying farewell, its not for forever. I don't owe anyone anything, its settled, but then again I owe them a lot. Thank you, thank you dearly for making these eight years more and less livable. I love all your mistakes and deeds, your pros and cons, your faults and virtues... Its good riddance I guess, but not with that evil smile, more with a nostalgic grin.
Cheers, mates!
My feelings are just so mixed up today. I am relieved. I have finished the school year with top grades and I will get accepted to the high-school I want. No more work for another three months. I feel happy as any pupil feels when school is finally over. Finally, finally... I just get in touch with that finally. Its unacceptable. I cant believe its over. The teachers didn't say see you all next year. They gave advice on how to handle a new school, new teachers, new „school-mates.“ Ah, what a horrible term. School-mates. None of these kids are my school-mates. They are labeled as friends, enemies, sluts, morons, nerds, weirdos, goody-two-shoes, pranksters... Their labels, good or bad, are human. They have a personal touch. School-mate doesn't. Its so plain. And thats what everyone is going to be next September, just a school-mate. Now, I know a lot of kids are happy to go, no more torture, but I don't feel tortured. I don't hold grouches anyway, so everyone is forgiven. People say high-school is better, but I am seriously afraid I wont be able to handle it. Teachers, grades... Less important to me. Friends, real friends... Now thats what concerns me. My mom told me that its natural to feel a lost, but I honestly feel like a whole part of me has been ferociously taken away without my acceptance. She also said that later on I will feel better and forgot about everyone by time. But I would hate that. I would hate to forgot these wonderful times I had. 8.a forever together! Ha, I highly doubt it, but no matter what, we were one. One class, one little community. I want it to stay that way forever. But its over. There is no 8.a anymore. But I like to think we have a special bond between us. We grew up together. And now, saying farewell, its not for forever. I don't owe anyone anything, its settled, but then again I owe them a lot. Thank you, thank you dearly for making these eight years more and less livable. I love all your mistakes and deeds, your pros and cons, your faults and virtues... Its good riddance I guess, but not with that evil smile, more with a nostalgic grin.
Cheers, mates!
Thanks everyone. Your comments mean a lot :)
worn-out astronaut., June 25th, 2007 at 02:30:58pm
I love your writing style.
Anyway. I can't *totally* relate to your blog so much because I've never been at a school for more than like....two years. But! Meeting new people is always interesting, if at times you end up by yourself anyway. there is usually one or more people that you will find that will make your high school years excellent.
Anyway, using my old friend as an example: she left her elementary [nursery-grade 9] to go to high school this year, and she said a lot of things similar to what you expressed in your blog. things have turned out great for her.
my example there didn't have much point but there you go.
Enjoy the summer! And High school will be, if not fun, interesting. It's just like anything else really.
Misanthropist, June 22nd, 2007 at 01:16:18am
Wow. That's awesome Ivana. And congrats on the top grades =]
just_call_me_dookie, June 21st, 2007 at 06:50:39pm
Omg that's so beautifully written and I'm actually sure I'll feel like that next year when I end my school.
Things will get better. You won't forget them, but you will move on.
Kristmas_Tsanne, June 21st, 2007 at 05:12:52pm
I was nervous my first year of highschool, but it really did turn out to be a great experience. You won't forget all the fun times you had, memories last as long as you let them. But you'll make new ones and go on to do bigger and better things. It will be a fun year =]
Kurtni, June 21st, 2007 at 04:12:29pm