Memorial Day Weekend [2006]

On Memorial day weekend, my aunt Jen and uncle Trav decided to go camping at Assateague Beach in Maryland. Normally I go with them, but I didn't really want to since I just stayed in my tent most of the time anyways. I'm quite shy and anti-social around people I don't usually see all the time. My aunt told me that I could bring one friend, so I'd at least have someone to talk to if I went. I figured that Jeremie was the only responsible friend I had that would want to go so I invited her. We were supposed to leave at around 4PM.... yeah, screw that.
We didn't leave until 9 and we had to be there by 10. We got there around 11:30... perfect timing. Our campsite was right next to Jeff's, my second step cousin or something like that, and he was the only one awake I guess. He came out and laughed as Jer and I attempted to put up our tent. The first thing I noticed was his hair... it was dark outside so it looked white to me since he dyed it blonde. It was short on the sides and long in the middle and looked really soft. I was pretty much in love with just his hair after a few minutes. I was acting pretty much like a moron because it was late and I was tired. We finally got the tent up after like a half hour....
I think we just went to bed a bit after that, I don't really remember.

Anyways.... I've known Jeff for like 4 or 5 years, but I've never talked to him. Whenever I did it was just to tell him to go away because he was being annoying. I've actually liked him since the day I met him though. I never actually told him because I was too shy and it would have been kinda weird since we were somehow related by some odd arrangement of marriages and divorces I wasn't really sure of.

The next day I spent at Jeff's campsite pretty much the entire time. I'm not sure why, I just didn't like it at mine. After dinner, which I didn't eat, my aunt told me to take the dishes up to the bath house to clean them. That kinda pissed me off because I didn't eat off of them and didn't plan to... but I got Jeremie and we walked up to the bath house, me complaining the entire way. When we got there, apparently Lauren, Jeff's sister, had to do dishes too. Lauren and Sarah, another one of my cousins, were doing the dishes. Aaron, Lauren's boyfriend, was somehow sitting on top of a wall. He and Jeff were throwing wet sponges at each other and were both completely soaked. I just stood there for a minute trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong with them. I eventually decided to put the dishes down next to the sink and wait until they left before I washed them, while I tried to stay dry. Then Jeff just had to come up and hug me like 3 times. I wouldn't have minded the least bit if he didn't get my jeans wet... they take forever to dry and lord knows I'm not gonna bother changing.
After Jeff settled down, I took his wallet and got $20 out of it. He gets me wet, I take his money. That pissed him off just a bit and I wouldn't give it back. I put it in my mouth so no one could get it. I ended up pinned against the wall until I gave it back. Still wouldn't. Got hit with a studded belt a couple times. Still wouldn't give. I'm a masochist Smile so, I was actually enjoying myself. I wasn't planning on keeping the money, I just wanted to be with him as long as I could and that seemed like an easy solution. Jeremie finally got fed up with us so she left 2 pans for me to clean and left. After another 10 minutes of Jeff swatting at me with the belt, I finally gave it back and finished the dishes. I didn't really talk to him for a while after that for some reason. It just seemed a bit awkward.

So we all just sat by the fire for a while until all the adults went onto the beach to fish and they're usually down there until real late. After a little while we were over at my campsite sitting at the picnic table just talking about the most random things; sex, porn, movies, video games, manga, anime, comics, school, government, etc. After a while Aaron went to bed and a bit after that so did Jer because she starts falling asleep all early >< I wasn't the least bit tired so I got Jeffery to just stay there with me. God, I just loved being near him, he's really warm, too Smile We talked for a while about nothing really. I was content just fooling with his hair =P It was a bit past 1AM when my aunt finally came back and told us to go to bed. I really didn't want to leave him... I was gonna go over to his tent but I'm the really annoying type so I figured I wouldn't bother him. Next morning I was back over at his site again, of course...

That day we went to the boardwalk in Ocean City. We went in this one store and they were selling bongs and crack and a bunch of other shit. And I wanted to get my ears pierced again, but according to Aaron I was too young or something. Bleh. That wasn't all that interesting because I was too shy to talk to Jeff and I thought he was avoiding me... I'm all paranoid about that.
After that we went to dinner at this sea-food place. I ended up sitting next to Jeff, yay ^^ He kept poking me, though. I'm really, really ticklish so he finds it amusing when I squeak. Jer and I went home with my uncle before everyone else so we went over to Jeff's site and sat by the unlit fire freezing our asses off until someone came.

Jeff got back after like 30 minutes and lit the fire... it was funny as hell. It wouldn't stay lit so he just kept pouring more and more of the lighting fluid on and it was just so damn funny >< Then his dad put a log on and the fire went out. I guess it's not too funny... maybe it was one of them you-had-to-be-there things. That, or I really do ride the clean-window bus. Jeremie was falling asleep and after a while I finally got her to go to bed. For the longest time we just sat there and Jeff was making fun of the fact that I'm still a virgin. Gahhh!
A bit later Aaron walked over out of nowhere and we were throwing random shit in the fire. Like unopened soda and beer cans. Oh, what fun. Explosions! Science Smile The first one we threw in was taking forever to explode. I figured it wasn't gonna do anything so I walked over near the fire to pick something off the ground. Just as I was turning to sit down, it blew up and splashed in my eye. Ah, that hurt like a mother---! Jeff and Aaron thought it was funny as hell. Then again, I couldn't stop laughing, either. It was quite funny. It was really cold out, I thought it was anyway, so I took Jeff's sweatshirt since he wasn't wearing it. I didn't wanna wake Jeremie up and I was just too damn lazy to walk over to my tent and get my jacket. At one point we were waiting for another can to blow up, I was nowhere near it this time of course, and Aaron had a beer in his hand,
"Want some?"
"No." *10 seconds later* "Gimme that."
I kept taking it from him after that. I hated beer... until that night >< I drank like 2 so I shoulda been fine. The only problem was that I drank them on an empty stomach too fast and for the first time. So I felt sick after that... it may have been better if I had eaten something. But screw that... I wanted more beer!

After those two were through with being morons, Aaron made the lovely announcement that he hadn't gone to the bathroom all weekend and had to take a shit. He was gone for like 20 somethin' minutes... wonderful. As soon as he left, Jeff started begging me to tell him what I had been keeping from him. He knew pretty much everything about me except for that I liked him. No. I've done fell in love with him and everything about him by now. The only reason I hadn't told him was because I was afraid. I figured he would either ignore me after that or he would use me for sex and then ignore me. Plus, he liked Jeremie, not me. I also knew that if I didn't tell him, I'd regret it. No matter what... I was basically screwed. After 15 minutes of begging, I finally just said it. I love you. I wasn't at all expecting to hear that he 'kinda likes me too' though. We didn't talk much and a few minutes later, Aaron came back. Thank God!
Aaron got tired and went to bed around 12ish (I have no clue what time it was. I'm guessing). Everyone was asleep by then except for Jeff and I. I told him I wasn't going back to my tent and I was sleeping on the chair thing. I didn't like my tent... I didn't like my site >< I might as well have just put my tent on his site! I still don't know why I didn't like it... ah well. I got up after a few minutes because I was a bit hyper by then and didn't feel like sitting,
"Where're you going?"
"Beach."
"What for?"
"Bored."
So I walked up to the beach and just stood there at the water's edge staring at the waves. I hated the sand and all the people... but it was nice at night. A minute later Jeff came from behind me and wrapped his arms around me. If scared me at first, but I was happier right then than I could ever remember being. We walked back up to the camp fire after a few minutes and he sat next to me finally. He had been sitting away from everyone the whole weekend saying he wanted to be alone >< Emo fuck. Sexy emo fuck, though.

We sat there with his arms around me for a while and I got a burst of energy again Smile I decided we'd walk up to the playground a bit less than a mile away. It was foggy as hell and I have really bad eyes. We neared the playground and I swear I saw something for a split second above one of the slides and it scared the hell out of me.... we walked over anyways and sat on the swing for a bit. I don't remember what, but there was a reason, I got up after a few minutes and started walking back.

We sat by the dying fire. I was leaning against him while trying to stay warm, falling asleep more and more by the second. If I fell asleep like that, we would have gotten in trouble in the morning. He was trying to keep me awake, but I was tired as hell and cold and just wanted to sleep and be near him. At that point I had decided I didn't care if I got in trouble as long as I could be near him. I started to get so cold, though that I couldn't have stopped shaking if my life depended on it. I think it may have scared Jeff a bit... I could barely breathe. He said I had a fever, too. I guess it was from the beer. He stayed there with me for whatever remained of that 'night'. It was getting light outside. I felt really bad. He seemed so tired and he was cold and I had his sweatshirt. I told him to go to bed but he didn't move... stubborn. I fell asleep for like 5 minutes and then his mom walked over an was bitching at him for staying up all night and being out in the cold without a sweatshirt.... He finally went to bed after that and I stayed there until Jeremie woke up.

Jer and I just sat at the picnic table waiting for Jeff to wake up. I sat there for hours until they were done packing and ready to go home. I still had his sweatshirt on... wasn't really wanting to give it up yet. My aunt was up by then and saying goodbye to everyone. Jeff seemed kind of pissed the whole time, I guess because he was tired... I'm hoping that's why. He let me keep the sweatshirt, though Smile Which made me extremely happy. I wanted to walk somewhere real quick so I could kiss him one last time before he left but I guess he couldn't... or something. I feel now like Sunday night was a big mistake.... Jeff seemed so kind and I loved him so much that night. In the morning, though... he just seemed so different. Of course I still love him no less... I just really hope he didn't just do that with me for the hell of it.

I finally went back to my camp site and started getting my stuff packed. So much for getting out of there by 11... it was like 12 when we finally left. Typical. I refused to take that sweatshirt off the entire time.
Went home, took a shower, put it back on, went to bed, woke up, changed clothes, put it on again, went to school, changed for gym class, put it back on, came home, and got on the computer where I have been all day hoping he gets online... I guess it's a bit late for that now, though. 11PM heh... no fucking way am I waking up at 5.

I really do think I love Jeff, though. I just can't sleep until I talk to him. I've thought about calling him... but it'd be too awkward. It seemed like he just wanted to avoid me after that night (and there goes the paranoia thing)... and I really, really, really hope I'm wrong. My ex-boyfriend, Ryder, and I broke up a year ago. What we had I wouldn't even consider a relationship, though. All he wanted to do was get in my pants. I never really felt comfortable around him, either. I always felt so awkward. It didn't even last barely a month before I called him and we ended up breaking up over the phone. I haven't said a single word to him since. I thought he was a complete asshole. Yet, I could never bring myself to get over him. I loved him... I thought it'd never end.
Then I started talking to Jeff. I fell more and more in love with him every time I looked at him. I got over Ryder over that weekend... it's amazing. I also have a problem with looking people in the eyes. I can't do it... with anyone. Then there's Jeff... I can look him in the eyes and feel totally at ease. I never thought I'd be able to do that, either. Especially with a guy, or even a girl for that matter XD Whenever I was around him I wanted nothing more than to just be closer to him... I hate myself so much for waiting until the very last night to confess to him.
I won't see him again until Labor Day weekend. Months away... I'm gonna go crazy. I wouldn't really let him do much because I'm so self-conscious and scared and whatnot. I plan to change that next time, though. I regret not letting him.
I talked to my dad earlier and he's going camping with us on Labor Day... that should be fun. He knows I like Jeff... he's gonna be watching my every move. Then again, he's young... he understands me more than any other adult does. If he did find out about me doing something he probably wouldn't be too pissed... eh, I hope not.
Posted on June 27th, 2007 at 06:51am

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