So i'm finally done with ppl screwing me over....
F**king hell, man.
You spend your life trying to make amends with people you consider friends but
as soon as you have a bigger problem than them or need them, that's it.
They'd rather whine about themselves when you're at a loss about your own life && sh**e
nevermind theirs as well.
You fix up misunderstandings with people who rly couldn't care less about you
&& all it comes down to is another chance for yet another argument, more humility, more ignorance.
You trust someone with your deepest darkest secrets - things you would never ever consider telling anyone else in the entire universe.
Then when you've told them, they f**king avoid the subject as if it was easy for you to confess.
It's never brought up again until they want to f**king stick it right where it hurts.
You fall in love with someone && do everything you can to be on the best of terms with them
but then you both get bored && all that time you've spent together is wasted
because you get f**king BORED.
You love your family unconditionally just because that is what you do,
there's no other way about it
but they f**king hurt you, manipulate you, use you to make themselves feel better.
Family means f**k all, family is just the people you were born with
&& stuck with until they decide to f**k you around
like some plaything they can switch on && off whenever they have nothing better to do.
Same goes for mates. You get all that sh**te like "oh i'll maul them for you"
&& whilst you know that you'd totally f**k up someone for causing harm to people close to you,
you know deep down but not deep enough that there's no f**king way they'd do the same for you.
They'd rather leg it so they wouldn't get hurt while you get your guts kicked in
because they'd rather you than them every single f**king time.
Or you get those really snide cu**s who bitch to you about every person possible that you both know if it's even in the very slightest
&& you nod && smirk but not agreeing cos you're too nice to make any sharp quips about anyone when you know you're no better than anyone else
then they f**k off after their rant - next thing you know, half the world hates you for the things you supposedly said about them
cos that two faced cu**'s more sinister than they look with their sh**ty facade of being dumb && gullible you were fooled by.
F**k all that time you've wasted spending time caring for someone:
rubbing the back of their necks or holding their hair back while they vomit;
making sure they had everything they need when they're ill;
giving them the very last of yr money so they can buy fags;
trecking all over glasgow so they can get sold somewhere;
having the sh**est night of your life while you run after them making sure they don't die they're on so many e's;
spending hours on end on the phone trying to convince them killing themselves isn't the way out
whilst trying not to f**king scream at them
IF YOU WERE SERIOUS, YOU'D HAVE DONE IT ALREADY :@;
spending the whole day fidgeting wondering when you'll kiss then after a quick fumble,
it's all over && there's no more contact;
walking miles && miles looking for them when they've gone home;
staying up till 6AM because they've involved you in some silly worthless fight online;
vomiting all over the street feeling like a typical trampy teen
cos they forced you into drinking the rest of that sh**e;
crying your eyes out when you realise you meant nothing to any of them;
wanting to isolate yourself completely because you know you're so easily replaced && forgotten;
hating them for making you think this way - but hating yourself most of all
for being so weak as to let them make you feel this utterly sh**e.
F**king stop corrupting each other.
You won't know all the damage you've caused until it's too late. Far too late.
You spend your life trying to make amends with people you consider friends but
as soon as you have a bigger problem than them or need them, that's it.
They'd rather whine about themselves when you're at a loss about your own life && sh**e
nevermind theirs as well.
You fix up misunderstandings with people who rly couldn't care less about you
&& all it comes down to is another chance for yet another argument, more humility, more ignorance.
You trust someone with your deepest darkest secrets - things you would never ever consider telling anyone else in the entire universe.
Then when you've told them, they f**king avoid the subject as if it was easy for you to confess.
It's never brought up again until they want to f**king stick it right where it hurts.
You fall in love with someone && do everything you can to be on the best of terms with them
but then you both get bored && all that time you've spent together is wasted
because you get f**king BORED.
You love your family unconditionally just because that is what you do,
there's no other way about it
but they f**king hurt you, manipulate you, use you to make themselves feel better.
Family means f**k all, family is just the people you were born with
&& stuck with until they decide to f**k you around
like some plaything they can switch on && off whenever they have nothing better to do.
Same goes for mates. You get all that sh**te like "oh i'll maul them for you"
&& whilst you know that you'd totally f**k up someone for causing harm to people close to you,
you know deep down but not deep enough that there's no f**king way they'd do the same for you.
They'd rather leg it so they wouldn't get hurt while you get your guts kicked in
because they'd rather you than them every single f**king time.
Or you get those really snide cu**s who bitch to you about every person possible that you both know if it's even in the very slightest
&& you nod && smirk but not agreeing cos you're too nice to make any sharp quips about anyone when you know you're no better than anyone else
then they f**k off after their rant - next thing you know, half the world hates you for the things you supposedly said about them
cos that two faced cu**'s more sinister than they look with their sh**ty facade of being dumb && gullible you were fooled by.
F**k all that time you've wasted spending time caring for someone:
rubbing the back of their necks or holding their hair back while they vomit;
making sure they had everything they need when they're ill;
giving them the very last of yr money so they can buy fags;
trecking all over glasgow so they can get sold somewhere;
having the sh**est night of your life while you run after them making sure they don't die they're on so many e's;
spending hours on end on the phone trying to convince them killing themselves isn't the way out
whilst trying not to f**king scream at them
IF YOU WERE SERIOUS, YOU'D HAVE DONE IT ALREADY :@;
spending the whole day fidgeting wondering when you'll kiss then after a quick fumble,
it's all over && there's no more contact;
walking miles && miles looking for them when they've gone home;
staying up till 6AM because they've involved you in some silly worthless fight online;
vomiting all over the street feeling like a typical trampy teen
cos they forced you into drinking the rest of that sh**e;
crying your eyes out when you realise you meant nothing to any of them;
wanting to isolate yourself completely because you know you're so easily replaced && forgotten;
hating them for making you think this way - but hating yourself most of all
for being so weak as to let them make you feel this utterly sh**e.
F**king stop corrupting each other.
You won't know all the damage you've caused until it's too late. Far too late.
Ah right, thanks Kurtni, I won't do it again :]
Is there an actual reason why or is just one of those rules you don't question?
xx
Christie__x, July 3rd, 2007 at 10:38:51am
Hey, for future reference, don't swear so excessively in blogs please. asterisk's are fine for blahs and comments, but not blogs. Profanity isn't allowed and thats in the rules
Kurtni, July 3rd, 2007 at 12:20:22am
No worries. It sounds like you've got your head screwed on right. Keep going with it.
Grandma, July 2nd, 2007 at 08:51:39pm
On the note of the language, I thought it'd be fine if I asterisked out the words? If not, I'll erase them?
Tbh, I've always thought like this. It was only because of recent events that I decided to just voice my opinions and give everyone a piece of my mind basically.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for reading my blog too.
xx
Christie__x, July 2nd, 2007 at 06:33:21pm
Wow, despite all the language (which isn't supposed to be in the blogs) you have stated some extremely realistic sentiments. I get exactly what you are saying here, so many of these things are true. It is unfortunate, but so many teens are focused on themselves, they have the biggest problems, the truth never occurs to them, etc. I think you have had one of those awakening periods where you are seeing things for what they truly are. You are finding your beliefs, your own values, and learning that those around don't fit in that system. Follow your heart, your beliefs, and above all do not let others lead you into those things you disapprove of. Best of luck for the future. Things might be tough for a while, but hang in there.
Grandma, July 2nd, 2007 at 05:45:48pm