Untangle Me
My name is Victoria and I’m in eighth grade. I work hard for the grades I achieve, and hardly work for the friends I ended up with, but I love them to beyond the grave.
I’m not ready to grow up. I don’t want responsibility, I don’t want to go to high school, and I don’t want to leave all that I have behind. I know that sounds very melodramatic because on a larger scale I can still keep many of the things I value, but I don’t want the space that will be inevitably created between the people I’ve spent the last four years with to be filled by anyone else. There are seats in my heart that they’ve been perfecting to be comfortable for them for too long for anyone else to fit.
In a sense, I know if I could stay exactly where I am for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t. I am a person who craves change in everything I do. That includes my surroundings, my friends, and myself. I would be unhappy to pause my life right when the plot is really beginning to start up. But it’s just awkward to make this difference. It’s new and in all honesty, it scares me.
Tonight I had one of the most memorable times of my life with four best friends and if I could capture those hours in a photo the camera would smoke and detonate. We know each other very well: perhaps better even than anyone else out there. I have become accustomed to their presence and they have been a protective wall from all that is out there.
When I leave this year there will be a hole in the safety net that was my middle school friends, and it’s up to me whether to climb out or not.
I’m caught.
I’m not ready to grow up. I don’t want responsibility, I don’t want to go to high school, and I don’t want to leave all that I have behind. I know that sounds very melodramatic because on a larger scale I can still keep many of the things I value, but I don’t want the space that will be inevitably created between the people I’ve spent the last four years with to be filled by anyone else. There are seats in my heart that they’ve been perfecting to be comfortable for them for too long for anyone else to fit.
In a sense, I know if I could stay exactly where I am for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t. I am a person who craves change in everything I do. That includes my surroundings, my friends, and myself. I would be unhappy to pause my life right when the plot is really beginning to start up. But it’s just awkward to make this difference. It’s new and in all honesty, it scares me.
Tonight I had one of the most memorable times of my life with four best friends and if I could capture those hours in a photo the camera would smoke and detonate. We know each other very well: perhaps better even than anyone else out there. I have become accustomed to their presence and they have been a protective wall from all that is out there.
When I leave this year there will be a hole in the safety net that was my middle school friends, and it’s up to me whether to climb out or not.
I’m caught.
I was 8th grade last year. I felt exactly like you. But you know what? I'm in high-school now and I didn't grow up a bit. I just got more work to do.
worn-out astronaut., September 22nd, 2007 at 01:04:39pm
Next week is the last week of High School for me. Last week of school..ever. Imagine how scary that is for me.
Going to High School is fun. You meet lots of new people. It's amazing. Treasure it while you can. Before you have to face the real world.
vonny, September 22nd, 2007 at 12:55:45pm