Casey Calvert.

Note; I wrote this through a fit of tears and was only able to put down what I was thinking. It's a mass of jumbled thoughts.

I can't fall asleep. The used tissues strewn across the floor are vivid reminders that you aren't coming back. We're never coming back. You sang about it, now you're…you definitely aren't living it. You really aren't coming back. I wish you would. You have to, Casey. It's cold tonight. The air gives me goose bumps just like you did, when you said hello to me. I miss you so. You really aren't coming back, are you? Oh, Casey, this just can't be happening. It's unfolding before my eyes just like Warped Tour did. You were so nice to me, you were the only one that talked to me. You humored my white socks, just like I humored your scrawled black signature on my magazine. It's still on my wall. I can't believe you're gone. You played all of my favorite songs, and looking back, I just can't see you dead. You were so alive. You were full of energy, jumping around the stage and diving into the crowd. Casey, you're so amazing, you just can't be gone. You just can't be. I heave a sigh as I stare back at your band's website. I was going to see you guys on the 27th in Norfolk. I was only going for you. You've left a huge impact on my life, you've saved me in so many ways. I'm gasping for air, but I've stopped crying. The tears are dry on my cheeks, and my eyes sting. I wish it was me instead of you. We never really knew each other, but you kept flashing me your infamous smile as I sat on the side of the stage, snapping pictures with my bulky silver camera. I stare in the mirror in my room, praying that when I go back to my computer it will be gone and it'll say that it was all a prank. My eyes are lined with red, my cheeks the same color and puffed out about ten feet. The last time I cried this hard was when my best friend left me for her boyfriend. I feel sick, I'm shaking, cold, and then warm. You're amazing beyond belief. You just can't be gone. You were my favorite member, you can't be gone, you just can't be. I'm back at my computer. It's still there. Your music still plays through my speakers. I still love you. Maybe if I go to sleep and wake up, it'll all have been a nightmare...You never really were one to stay in one place. I love you, Casey Calvert, and I hope you don't forget me.

I wrote that about Casey Calvert. It's not too good, and it's all together because it didn't need to be in separate lines like I had it on my word document. I don't know if you know yet, but Casey Calvert, of Hawthorne Heights, passed away last night. I'm in extreme shock, I've cried myself dry. I can't believe this, he's got to be living. Is it a prank, a cruel one? If it is, I'm not laughing. I think everything I wanted to say was said in my 'paragraph' above. I met him at warped tour, he was the only member of Hawthorne Heights that talked to me. He laughed when I showed him my white socks ["See what I go through to see you guys?"] and he showed me his 'messed up' autograph. The poster with his along with his bandmates autographs is taped to my wall.

It seems like just yesterday I was backstage taking pictures of him.

He can't be gone.

Rest in peace, Casey. You'll be remembered by everyone.
Posted on November 25th, 2007 at 09:12am


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