It Goes Even Deeper

it was friday morning when i found out that three guys i knew were in a horrable highspeed acident... they were speeding down the road at night when a semi had its lights turned off... and was blocking the road... so the driver was decapitated, and the front seat passenger was severely injured (his status is still in question) and the backseat passenger is going to be ok... i knew the backseat passenger and the driver, unfortionatly, the driver is dead... good guy too... its a real shame, the other guy i did not know went to our school, and everyone is all upset cuse he might die... so naturally the entire friday was pritty tense... like real tense... its not me to break down and start crying, i dont cry, but i was very shaken about the driver who died... becuase a week before hand we had a nice long discussion about weed... and im not used to people i know dying... i gotta say it dosnt happen too often around me... we wernt that close of friends, but still... i knew that guy... and now i wont ever get to speak to him agian... his story is over...

that sent me pritty spiraling... i couldnt help it... all the lights were out... and i entered a dark place, and i broke a promise...

why are humans born with emotions? because i only get to experiance the bad ones, ive heard of good emotions before, and i think ive felt them from time to time... but i think im on the wrong end of the spectrum... fear, depression, anger, anxiety,... all regulars in my house... wheras happyness, love, care... they barely ever show up... instead i bite my lip and yell out some jibberish while i hit the bong for the fifth time,
its just pointless... my whole life rutine is pritty pointless... i dont really contribute to society... i just a;sldkfja;sldkfja;lsdkfja;sldkfjas;dlkfja;lsdkfjas;ldkfja;sldkfja;sdkfja;sldkfja;sldkfja;sldkfja;sldkfjas;dlkfjas;ldkfjas;ldkfja;lsdkfja;lsdkfja;lsdkfja;lsdkfja;lsdkfja;lsdkfja;lsdknzx.cvmnasd;oifhqwepiuhasdvmnzx;jcvhqw


i hate myself

but im trying hard for everyone else...

im trying
Posted on January 20th, 2008 at 03:08pm

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