cancer
I think there's something that slowly, but harshly pushes you back into reality when you see someone you love hooked up to a hospital bed, relying on tubes to keep them awake. Today my dad just got his prostate removed because about a month ago, we were all informed that he had prostate cancer. My dad has always been someone I've seen as the strongest figure in my life. When I realized he could be dead from anything that might interfere with his healing process, every moment of fear I've ever had in my life felt like it came back and slapped me in the face.
My dad and I have been fighting non-stop for the past week, and it never really occurred to me that he was stressed out. Not only from everyday issues, but also from his own fear of having surgery for the first time in his life at sixty years old. It's crazy - he's always been extremely health-conscious. From eating the right foods (breakfast, lunch, and dinner), to exercising at least an hour a day, to getting enough sleep every night of his life; he's always done everything in his power to remain healthy. And he's succeeded up until now. Because he's always been so healthy, he didn't think health insurance was really a huge deal, so he didn't bother getting good health insurance. Now he's having to pay for something that no one could have seen coming.
It's rough. I've always had nightmares about my dad dying, and although he'll probably be okay this time, I'm not so sure he'll be able to stand through the next thing that comes his way. I'm so terrified of the day he's going to die. Sometimes I really wish that I could die before everyone else did - so I wouldn't have to go through the pain of losing everyone. I know, selfish, but I can't help but feel like I'm more attached to people than they are to me.
My dad and I have been fighting non-stop for the past week, and it never really occurred to me that he was stressed out. Not only from everyday issues, but also from his own fear of having surgery for the first time in his life at sixty years old. It's crazy - he's always been extremely health-conscious. From eating the right foods (breakfast, lunch, and dinner), to exercising at least an hour a day, to getting enough sleep every night of his life; he's always done everything in his power to remain healthy. And he's succeeded up until now. Because he's always been so healthy, he didn't think health insurance was really a huge deal, so he didn't bother getting good health insurance. Now he's having to pay for something that no one could have seen coming.
It's rough. I've always had nightmares about my dad dying, and although he'll probably be okay this time, I'm not so sure he'll be able to stand through the next thing that comes his way. I'm so terrified of the day he's going to die. Sometimes I really wish that I could die before everyone else did - so I wouldn't have to go through the pain of losing everyone. I know, selfish, but I can't help but feel like I'm more attached to people than they are to me.
I understand immensly how you're feeling. My grandfather (my Dad's father), was 1 of the two people that I considered to be my pillars in life. He stabalized me and meant the world to me. He suffered from Lung cancer that spread to his throat. He had half of his internal organs removed, and even then, he managed to make a joke out of it. He then sadly passed away five years ago and i suppsoe there's a part of me that went with him.
Obviously my problems mean nothing to you, but just so you know, you relate to a lot of people who pass through here, so there's always someone who'll sit and listen to you moan.
My dad is sick now, he's the second pillar in my life. Like you I've been fighting with him alot. I don't live at hime, i live with my boyfriend, partially because I'm not exactly welcome at home anymore, through know one's fault but my own.
But I recently had a fight with him, and I told him that I hated him. It wasn't hatred, but dispise.
So please, try not to fight with your father. Good things come in small quantities and a petty fight isn't worth installing a cordon in your life.
Mike N Tre Erections, February 22nd, 2008 at 01:02:28pm
I'm so sorry!!! My grandfather died from the terrible disease of prostate cancer. I know hearing that may not make you feel any better. It seems as if your father is a fighter as he eats the right foods and exercising. I know it's hard to do, but the best thing is to keep happy thoughts and to help out your family as much as you possibly can. Your family, especially your father will appreciate it.
And while you do that, I'll do my part and keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Barney Stinson, February 22nd, 2008 at 09:24:14am
Yeah, I know how you feel. I saw my beloved grandpa succumbing to prostate cancer in my front. Your father's in a very delicate age, but I hope everything will be alright with you, him and your family. I also pray that tragedies in my family happen only to me, it's normal for those who can't stand see a beloved one going away.
However, don't feel bad if this doesn't end well. It's part of our lives see our parents fade away from our sight anyday of our lifetime. Carry on and live your life as never lived before.
Chile D. Guy, February 22nd, 2008 at 09:07:51am
Im so sorry to hear this. It's horrible when you hear about someone getting cancer from smoking or tanning, but I can't imagine how much harder it was knowing that he lived such a healthy life. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Kurtni, February 21st, 2008 at 08:44:30pm