I hated 2006, but I miss it so much
Last year was arguably the worst year of my life.
So why do I miss it so much?
I took so many things for granted that I didn't realize I wouldn't have this year. Watching The Glasshouse, My old class, my old teachers, my Grandfather making it up to Sydney every year for my birthday and no one elses, and even my holiday to Tazmania with my parents (I hated it at the time).
I hated my life so much back then, but now I'd do anything to go back to the breakdowns, the tears, the blood, and how much I pushed myself to not even get that far.
I hate the memories so much, but I'd do anything to go back and re-live it all again. If I got to go back, I wouldn't change one thing.
What makes it worse is that now I'm worried year 11 will be even worse then this year. I remember 2005. That is the only year, since grade 6 that I can remember being care free and happy. I couldn't really care less about what others said or thought back then. I don't know why I can't do that anymore, even though I try so hard.
So why do I miss it so much?
I took so many things for granted that I didn't realize I wouldn't have this year. Watching The Glasshouse, My old class, my old teachers, my Grandfather making it up to Sydney every year for my birthday and no one elses, and even my holiday to Tazmania with my parents (I hated it at the time).
I hated my life so much back then, but now I'd do anything to go back to the breakdowns, the tears, the blood, and how much I pushed myself to not even get that far.
I hate the memories so much, but I'd do anything to go back and re-live it all again. If I got to go back, I wouldn't change one thing.
What makes it worse is that now I'm worried year 11 will be even worse then this year. I remember 2005. That is the only year, since grade 6 that I can remember being care free and happy. I couldn't really care less about what others said or thought back then. I don't know why I can't do that anymore, even though I try so hard.
I feel your pain... I misslast year it was actually good for me... but somewhat of this year is good... don't be sad about what you've lost be happy about what you've gained no matter how small it may be all the small things make a big thing!
*hugs* hugs make things better (not really but anyways) lol :)
so let go, February 13th, 2007 at 09:19:41pm
aww thanks for the hug :) *hugs back*
adrea, February 13th, 2007 at 04:01:29am
I know how you feel. Every moment sucks, and when it's over, you realize how wonderful it would have been to relive every sucky moment.
Honestly, every thought and moment and feeling that happens to you makes you. If you change something, you change yourself. What you wrote really voices what a lot of people feel, including me. I fit in for once in my life in 8th grade. And then I left it all. And left. You need a hug. *hug*
lyrical_mess, February 12th, 2007 at 08:17:34am