The Nature of Hugs.
Disclaimer: If this blog has a negative effect and/or causes serious injuries, I am not liable to pay for medical treatment of any kind. Use at your own risk.
Hugs. Everyone loves hugs. Hugs are free. Hugs are neat. Hugs are heartwarming. What is a hug?
Urban Dictionary says:
1. A confused hershey kiss, thats a hermaphrodite.
2. The act of embracing someone
3. An increasingly popular substitution for drug use Commonly used phrase: Hugs not drugs. In that case I need some hugs.
More definitions can be found here: ”Hug”
Now we will discuss the ‘how-to’ in the act of hugging a person. But first you must ask yourself, what kind of hug would you like to perform? Here are some suggestions of different kinds of hugs.
Me-Hug: Get your hugging juices flowing by wrapping your arms around yourself and giving a good squeeze!
A-Frame Hug: Most acceptable in social situations, standing back a few steps and bending forwards to embrace.
I Want To Surprise You From Behind Hug: The act of coming up behind the hugee and wrapping your arms around their waste and holding them tight.
Tall Person, Short Person Hug: The taller of the two should put their arms around the shorter person waste, while the shorter person rest their head on the taller person chest.
Bear Hug: The monster of all hugs, a full body embrace.
Rape Hug: Hugging a person in any which way without the persons permission and/or willinglyness. Could result in struggling, smacking, yelling, and/or a restraining order.
Group Hug: A large amount of people embracing one another at the same time.
Here are some extras you can add to your hugs in order to make them extra special:
-Patting shoulders, head, or back
-Kissing cheeks [the ones on the face people!]
-Sighing
-Saying “I love you,” or “Your comfortable” and/or complimenting the person you are hugging.
-Rubbing
-Squeezing tightly, and rocking the hugee back and forth.
-Intense enjoyment shown through high pitched noises and eccentric facial expressions.
But when should you perform a hug? Here are some real life scenarios that should help you!:
Jenn: I missed you so much!
Ben: Oh yes! Lets hug!
In this case, a Bear Hug would be most appropriate.
Jenn: Reading a magazine while standing in a upright position.
Ben: I missed you babe, Comes up behind her and holds her by the waist
Correct! A I Want To Surprise You From Behind Hug was just used appropriately!
Jenn: I am all alone but I want a hug.
If you guessed that a Me-Hug would be suitable for this situation…award yourself a pat on the back! Or perhaps…a Me-Hug!
Jenn: I am cold! Brrr.
Ben: Here, I will keep you warm.
At this point, a Tall Person Short Person hug would be fitting.
Jenn: Oh welcome! Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Ben: Thank you for inviting me to your party!
An A-Frame Hug would be very apt in this state of affairs.
Jenn: LOVE!!! Embraces Ben tightly.
Ben: No! no! no!
Yes, this is a example of what a Rape Hug would be like.
Jenn; Oh joy!
Ben: Life is good!
Ken: My life is meaningful!
Lenn: I enjoy things!
Insert a Group Hug here.
I hope after reading this guide you will have a better understand the nature of hugs. Hugs brighten days and are entirely free. Make the best of someone’s day and…hug.
Hugs. Everyone loves hugs. Hugs are free. Hugs are neat. Hugs are heartwarming. What is a hug?
Urban Dictionary says:
1. A confused hershey kiss, thats a hermaphrodite.
2. The act of embracing someone
3. An increasingly popular substitution for drug use Commonly used phrase: Hugs not drugs. In that case I need some hugs.
More definitions can be found here: ”Hug”
Now we will discuss the ‘how-to’ in the act of hugging a person. But first you must ask yourself, what kind of hug would you like to perform? Here are some suggestions of different kinds of hugs.
Me-Hug: Get your hugging juices flowing by wrapping your arms around yourself and giving a good squeeze!
A-Frame Hug: Most acceptable in social situations, standing back a few steps and bending forwards to embrace.
I Want To Surprise You From Behind Hug: The act of coming up behind the hugee and wrapping your arms around their waste and holding them tight.
Tall Person, Short Person Hug: The taller of the two should put their arms around the shorter person waste, while the shorter person rest their head on the taller person chest.
Bear Hug: The monster of all hugs, a full body embrace.
Rape Hug: Hugging a person in any which way without the persons permission and/or willinglyness. Could result in struggling, smacking, yelling, and/or a restraining order.
Group Hug: A large amount of people embracing one another at the same time.
Here are some extras you can add to your hugs in order to make them extra special:
-Patting shoulders, head, or back
-Kissing cheeks [the ones on the face people!]
-Sighing
-Saying “I love you,” or “Your comfortable” and/or complimenting the person you are hugging.
-Rubbing
-Squeezing tightly, and rocking the hugee back and forth.
-Intense enjoyment shown through high pitched noises and eccentric facial expressions.
But when should you perform a hug? Here are some real life scenarios that should help you!:
Jenn: I missed you so much!
Ben: Oh yes! Lets hug!
In this case, a Bear Hug would be most appropriate.
Jenn: Reading a magazine while standing in a upright position.
Ben: I missed you babe, Comes up behind her and holds her by the waist
Correct! A I Want To Surprise You From Behind Hug was just used appropriately!
Jenn: I am all alone but I want a hug.
If you guessed that a Me-Hug would be suitable for this situation…award yourself a pat on the back! Or perhaps…a Me-Hug!
Jenn: I am cold! Brrr.
Ben: Here, I will keep you warm.
At this point, a Tall Person Short Person hug would be fitting.
Jenn: Oh welcome! Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Ben: Thank you for inviting me to your party!
An A-Frame Hug would be very apt in this state of affairs.
Jenn: LOVE!!! Embraces Ben tightly.
Ben: No! no! no!
Yes, this is a example of what a Rape Hug would be like.
Jenn; Oh joy!
Ben: Life is good!
Ken: My life is meaningful!
Lenn: I enjoy things!
Insert a Group Hug here.
I hope after reading this guide you will have a better understand the nature of hugs. Hugs brighten days and are entirely free. Make the best of someone’s day and…hug.
Comments
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Aww, this is soooooooooooooo cute ^______________________^
Ha, I get rape hugs/rape hug people too often... XDD
Robin Sparkles, March 28th, 2008 at 10:12:06am
I love the cute little thing at the bottom too ;D
It's so... aww!!
Ensiferum, March 26th, 2008 at 07:57:14pm
awww
cute blog!
^.^
nice job!
CanYouFeelIt, March 26th, 2008 at 06:44:16pm
i get rape hugged way too often......you see why i smack people around now?
sadly i cant do that to most of my rape hugs, hitting girls is improper
Blarg!, March 26th, 2008 at 05:26:19pm
oh wow, this blog is aweosme.
Vegemite, March 26th, 2008 at 10:26:06am
cute blog :) I luuurveeee hugs :]
Love, March 26th, 2008 at 06:34:37am
<i>I Want To Surprise You From Behind Hug: The act of coming up behind the hugee and wrapping your arms around their waste and holding them tight.</i>
^ I read that as 'Waste' As in human waste x]
I laughed so hard.
Tholomew Plague, March 26th, 2008 at 05:08:46am
Aww, this is awesome.
I just gave myself a me-hug. :D
Riot on the Radio, March 26th, 2008 at 04:45:36am
This is so adorable!
I like how all their names rhyme.
germma margaret!, March 26th, 2008 at 02:14:14am
really funny :)
i love the RAPE HUG.
ROSLYNN, March 25th, 2008 at 10:13:40pm
Lmfao omg, best blog ever.
I LOVE HUGS :D
I'd love to have a "I Want To Surprise You From Behind Hug" :]
Rape Hug: Hugging a person in any which way without the persons permission and/or willinglyness. Could result in struggling, smacking, yelling, and/or a restraining order.
that ones the best lmfao.
GOOD JOB JESSIKA :D
michelle danger., March 25th, 2008 at 09:30:15pm
I hug about 435754698657042 people a day :D
lishaaaaa, March 25th, 2008 at 09:24:33pm
this is the best blog ever..
omg
Emo Orange Bunneh Ears, March 25th, 2008 at 09:05:54pm
this was the most touching thing i've ever read...
psyche. haha. good job though. :D
bigger than jesus, March 25th, 2008 at 09:05:06pm
Awwww ;D
Ensiferum, March 25th, 2008 at 09:04:06pm