The Nature of Hugs.

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Hugs. Everyone loves hugs. Hugs are free. Hugs are neat. Hugs are heartwarming. What is a hug?

Urban Dictionary says:

1. A confused hershey kiss, thats a hermaphrodite.
2. The act of embracing someone
3. An increasingly popular substitution for drug use Commonly used phrase: Hugs not drugs. In that case I need some hugs.

More definitions can be found here: ”Hug”
Now we will discuss the ‘how-to’ in the act of hugging a person. But first you must ask yourself, what kind of hug would you like to perform? Here are some suggestions of different kinds of hugs.

Me-Hug: Get your hugging juices flowing by wrapping your arms around yourself and giving a good squeeze!

A-Frame Hug: Most acceptable in social situations, standing back a few steps and bending forwards to embrace.

I Want To Surprise You From Behind Hug: The act of coming up behind the hugee and wrapping your arms around their waste and holding them tight.

Tall Person, Short Person Hug: The taller of the two should put their arms around the shorter person waste, while the shorter person rest their head on the taller person chest.

Bear Hug: The monster of all hugs, a full body embrace.

Rape Hug: Hugging a person in any which way without the persons permission and/or willinglyness. Could result in struggling, smacking, yelling, and/or a restraining order.

Group Hug: A large amount of people embracing one another at the same time.

Here are some extras you can add to your hugs in order to make them extra special:

-Patting shoulders, head, or back
-Kissing cheeks [the ones on the face people!]
-Saying “I love you,” or “Your comfortable” and/or complimenting the person you are hugging.
-Squeezing tightly, and rocking the hugee back and forth.
-Intense enjoyment shown through high pitched noises and eccentric facial expressions.

But when should you perform a hug? Here are some real life scenarios that should help you!:

Jenn: I missed you so much!
Ben: Oh yes! Lets hug!
In this case, a Bear Hug would be most appropriate.

Jenn: Reading a magazine while standing in a upright position.
Ben: I missed you babe, Comes up behind her and holds her by the waist
Correct! A I Want To Surprise You From Behind Hug was just used appropriately!

Jenn: I am all alone but I want a hug.
If you guessed that a Me-Hug would be suitable for this situation…award yourself a pat on the back! Or perhaps…a Me-Hug!

Jenn: I am cold! Brrr.
Ben: Here, I will keep you warm.
At this point, a Tall Person Short Person hug would be fitting.

Jenn: Oh welcome! Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Ben: Thank you for inviting me to your party!
An A-Frame Hug would be very apt in this state of affairs.

Jenn: LOVE!!! Embraces Ben tightly.
Ben: No! no! no!
Yes, this is a example of what a Rape Hug would be like.

Jenn; Oh joy!
Ben: Life is good!
Ken: My life is meaningful!
Lenn: I enjoy things!
Insert a Group Hug here.

I hope after reading this guide you will have a better understand the nature of hugs. Hugs brighten days and are entirely free. Make the best of someone’s day and…hug.

Posted on March 25th, 2008 at 08:46pm


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