I'm Sorry.

This is an apology to my family and my friends.

I know lately things haven’t been going great. I’ve lost sight of what I want and need from life. I hoped it wouldn’t come between us but it did.

To my parents:
I’m sorry that I’m not the daughter you wanted. All you’ve ever wanted was for me to do what you could not, attend university and find myself in a high flying job that pays well. I know I don’t take interest in the things you’d wish I did but that’s just who I am. I don’t like football and its such a big part of your lives. I feel like an outcast in my own home because I simply don’t fit in. I’m sorry that my choices in life don’t match up to your expectations or those that others have for me. Now that my choices have changed you’ve become hostile, I feel like no matter what I do you have lost faith in me completely. I get the impression you don’t think I can do it. I’m sorry that you feel like that but now for the rest of my life I’ll be proving you wrong. I’m sorry you don’t have good stories about me to impress your friends with like you do my brother. Most of all, I’m sorry I can’t be perfect because that’s what you seem to want from me and its something I just can’t give. I’m not like my friends, I’m not all that intelligent and I won’t ever match up to them but I don’t see why I have to. I know you care about me and you do all you can for me but leave this one for me, this is my call.


To my friends:

I know lately it seems like I don’t care about any of you but all that’s happened is that I’ve realized who I can trust and who to keep close. I’ve stopped giving my all to those of you who give nothing in return but hurt. It hurts to know that some of you can’t support me in things that I’ve chosen to do but this was when I needed you most and you turned me away, you can’t expect me to care now. You don’t seem to think I’m human because I rarely show emotion. Well in the past month I have never cried so much because I felt like I was losing myself and all that I believed in. And it was all because of you. I’ve been there for when you needed me and I supported you all that I could, so why was I so alone? I don’t see the sense in but now I’ve realized the select few who will actually listen to me and help me through my problems. And those are the people I will keep by my side for as long as I can because they make me see the good things in life. In a way I guess I should thank some of you, because through all of this pain I’ve come to realize what I needed to see years ago.

I needed to express this and I’m sorry if it makes no sense.