Am I Mental?
Yeah, that's right. I said mental. I think it sounds cool. Tre` Cool.
Ahem. More to the point, I'm confused. I need your help. I've got a mission for you, angels...
AAAHHHH!!!!
Okay, so, to the point. I have many problems. First, I can never stay on topic. One thing makes me think of another and so on and so on until... Well, it makes sense in my mind!
Problem #2: I have a HORRIBLE memory! I seriously forgot what I was doing here and why. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be typing... Oh yeah! My memory sucks.
Thirdly, I have strange thoughts. And I mean STRANGE. And the wierd part is, I like it. Sometimes, when someone pisses me off, and I daydream, I dream that I killed them. I've got several different methods that I've planned out. Methods that I must forget. There's so much stuff that I've dreamed or thought of but never told anyone. I want to keep it to myself, because nobody would understand my happy thoughts.
Another thing, sometimes I think that the government is monitoring everything we do. And I mean EVERYTHING.
When presented with a rule or law, I have the strongest desire to break it. I've even tried to break the laws of gravity and physics. It didn't work.
I always lie. It's just second nature to me. If I don't want to tell the truth for whatever reason, instead of saying that it's too personal or telling the truth or avoiding the question, I'll usually lie. It's better than getting in trouble, right? Personal questions I'll just brush off wiwth sarcasm. But, seriously. I bet I wouldn't even register on a lie detector test. I'm like Holden Caulfield (if you've ever read the Catcher in the Rye).
And the most ANNOYING one of all is that voice. It's hard to explain, I don't actually hear it, but I don't see the words written in my head. It sort of comes up as a thought, but I know that I'm not the one thinking it beause I'd never actually do that. If I say or hear something, the "voice" makes it seem like I'd implied... things. Sometimes, I'll just say "SHUT UP!!!" out loud, in the middle of a conversation, and people will get offended. It gets really awkward when I have to either tell them the truth or make something up to explain it. It's telling me the thing that I don't want to hear. I'm not sure why I don't want to hear it, but I can't help but deny it. It's probably not true, but still... The voice is quieter now, but sometimes it's there. Once, I was just about to give up and let the voice win. But then another, sweeter voice, probably an angel's voice, helped me fight back. I forget what it said, but it worked. And now the voice comes back less. But I refuse to believe it. At least, not yet. And I'm not telling you what it is, so don't ask.
Anyways, that's all I can think of for now. If you could help me... HELP ME OUT, GODDAMMIT!!!!!! Thanks.
Ahem. More to the point, I'm confused. I need your help. I've got a mission for you, angels...
AAAHHHH!!!!
Okay, so, to the point. I have many problems. First, I can never stay on topic. One thing makes me think of another and so on and so on until... Well, it makes sense in my mind!
Problem #2: I have a HORRIBLE memory! I seriously forgot what I was doing here and why. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be typing... Oh yeah! My memory sucks.
Thirdly, I have strange thoughts. And I mean STRANGE. And the wierd part is, I like it. Sometimes, when someone pisses me off, and I daydream, I dream that I killed them. I've got several different methods that I've planned out. Methods that I must forget. There's so much stuff that I've dreamed or thought of but never told anyone. I want to keep it to myself, because nobody would understand my happy thoughts.
Another thing, sometimes I think that the government is monitoring everything we do. And I mean EVERYTHING.
When presented with a rule or law, I have the strongest desire to break it. I've even tried to break the laws of gravity and physics. It didn't work.
I always lie. It's just second nature to me. If I don't want to tell the truth for whatever reason, instead of saying that it's too personal or telling the truth or avoiding the question, I'll usually lie. It's better than getting in trouble, right? Personal questions I'll just brush off wiwth sarcasm. But, seriously. I bet I wouldn't even register on a lie detector test. I'm like Holden Caulfield (if you've ever read the Catcher in the Rye).
And the most ANNOYING one of all is that voice. It's hard to explain, I don't actually hear it, but I don't see the words written in my head. It sort of comes up as a thought, but I know that I'm not the one thinking it beause I'd never actually do that. If I say or hear something, the "voice" makes it seem like I'd implied... things. Sometimes, I'll just say "SHUT UP!!!" out loud, in the middle of a conversation, and people will get offended. It gets really awkward when I have to either tell them the truth or make something up to explain it. It's telling me the thing that I don't want to hear. I'm not sure why I don't want to hear it, but I can't help but deny it. It's probably not true, but still... The voice is quieter now, but sometimes it's there. Once, I was just about to give up and let the voice win. But then another, sweeter voice, probably an angel's voice, helped me fight back. I forget what it said, but it worked. And now the voice comes back less. But I refuse to believe it. At least, not yet. And I'm not telling you what it is, so don't ask.
Anyways, that's all I can think of for now. If you could help me... HELP ME OUT, GODDAMMIT!!!!!! Thanks.
Well, actually, I think I have short term memory loss, but nobody will believe me.
Also, I think I know what the cause of all this is, but like I said, it's too early to know right now. My subconcious wants me to deal with it, but as far as my research shows I can't really tell at this point. If I'm right it's nothing serious, but if I'm wrong it'll be okay because once this is dealt with it'll be done. It's the thing that that "voice" is hinting at. I'll go see a shrink if it gets worse. Maybe. When I'm 25.
PCG, August 11th, 2008 at 08:49:49pm
I know psycologists/psychiatrists suck. I've seen many of them. But the thing is, if you do happen to have something and never see a doctor about it, like reject08 said it could become very serious and begin to destroy your life. I mean, for years I kept wondering what the hell was wrong with me and if I was crazy and I became so depressed and started doing some really stupid things and I basically ruined my life. But a few months ago I was diagnosed with Generalized Anixety Disorder and now that I actually know what's wrong with me, it's easier to get help and I'm doing much better than I was.
So, I'm not sure if you're afraid of seeing a doctor about it, but either way, if you find out you're fine, great, and if you find out there's something wrong, at least you can stop wondering and learn how to take control of it so it doesn't get any worse.
The Kill, August 11th, 2008 at 01:46:31pm
i dont think you're mental. Maybe parinoid but not mental.
If you dont want to see a psychiatrist you can always talk to a councelior.
if anything, i might be mental because i was seriously attracted to Holden Caulfield.
Catcher In The Rye FTW!
Umberto, August 11th, 2008 at 03:17:27am
Really, there's only one voice, which isn't even really a voice. It's just a supressed thought that keeps coming up again and again. My strange thoughts, well, they usually involve cartoons and blood. My dreams are f*cked up. REALLY f*cked up. Then again, the world has made my mind a f*cked up place, by being a f*cked up place. Somehow I like what I dream, and it's the only way to get out of the real world. I refuse to see a shrink, the idea's like the time I successfully mated a bulldog and a sh*tzu. I called it... Bullsh*t! (I watch alot of Dumb and Dumber)
PCG, August 11th, 2008 at 12:43:41am
theres really no solution to this other than psychiatrists, sorry. sounds like you may have paranoid schizophrenia, which is a very, very serious mental disorder. without medication, it could get wayy out of control where you won't be able to function normally. paranoid schizophrenics often end up homeless. but i'm not a psychologist, just a person who took a psychology class, lol. it may not be anything, but the way you are describing it it sounds serious.
if you really want our help, don't get mad at us for suggesting things. you did say in your blog you wanted help. if you really don't want to go to a psychologist/psychiatrist, i suggest looking up mental disorders and non medicinal treatments online or at your library. psychologists suck, but psychiatrists are usually better. trust me, i've seen plenty of both, lol. i'm bipolar and it really sucks to not know whats wrong with you and wonder if you are crazy. but you have to remember, a mental disorder is just like having diabetes or some other disease, its not your fault and the best way to treat it is medicine. there isn't a cure to a mental illness usually, but medicine and therapy do help.
i hope i helped, if you need anything else just PM me!
suburban.zombie, August 11th, 2008 at 12:35:49am
I f*ckING HATE PSYCHIATRISTS!!! STOP SUGGESTING THEM!!! SUGGEST SOMETHING ELSE.
PCG, August 10th, 2008 at 09:42:35pm
voices can be a symptom of a number of 'disorders' such as Gaspard Ulliel says like schizophrenia but it might also be an alternative personality or something else. only a mental psychiatrist can help figure out exactly what is going on with you.
Grandma, August 10th, 2008 at 06:27:25am
Uhm... To be honest, really, it sounds like you may have a mental disorder of some kind. Strange thoughts, voices and bad memory can be signs of schizophrenia. You should really see a doctor =\
The Kill, August 9th, 2008 at 10:35:45pm
>_> You might want to see a counselor or something. Its a good way to get out of class and they may actually help. Psychologist?
Addison Dewitt, August 9th, 2008 at 12:43:09am