we kissed...
i don't know why i put myself through all the drama and stupidness that i do.
there was this guy who really liked me. and i completely blew him off today. i figured out that i really like guys who are a challenge to get...idk why but guys that flirt with me and are obviously lusting after me or whatever get on my nerves. so i blew off this guy to talk to another guy that i messed around with earlier this month. hes still dating his internet girlfriend...but he started talking to me again, mainly about the sexual stuff that we talked about last time right before we ended up messing around...
it kills me that i can't have him. it kills me that i DID have him, for that short amount of time we had together...it was just so amazing. and it really kills me that i can't just accept a regular guy who doesn't treat me like crap. i like this guy who is a douche bag and cheats on his girlfriends. hes talking about really personal sexual stuff with me...and it just makes me want him more...and i melt when he calls me hun and stuff...i know its probably really fake...but still...
i don't know what it is about this kid. hes really weird. and he treats me like shit a lot of the time. he's socially backwards and can't get out all the words he tries to say a lot...but i like him. i'm really really attracted to him. it doesn't help that hes the best kisser in the world. AND, he just got his lip pierced. that REALLY turns me on...lol.
idk what to do. i guess i'll just keep talking to him. maybe someday he'll realize that i like him a lot and having a girlfriend, or even just a friend with benefits on campus is much better than having to masturbate all the time because of his internet relationship. its not really love if you can easily cheat on your girlfriend, never tell her, and just continue with life like it never even happened.
i felt smothered by a guy who treated me right. but he is 22...i'm 18. sorry, that bothers me. hes been engaged. i want to mess around, have fun. i realize now i don't want to be completely tied down.
and thats what i like about austin. other than the fact that he cheated on his girlfriend to do this. but we messed around. and i loved it. it was awesome. it was better than anything my ex and i ever did...it might have been the thrill of doing something wrong. and out in the open outside...but yeah. it was cool
idk.
there was this guy who really liked me. and i completely blew him off today. i figured out that i really like guys who are a challenge to get...idk why but guys that flirt with me and are obviously lusting after me or whatever get on my nerves. so i blew off this guy to talk to another guy that i messed around with earlier this month. hes still dating his internet girlfriend...but he started talking to me again, mainly about the sexual stuff that we talked about last time right before we ended up messing around...
it kills me that i can't have him. it kills me that i DID have him, for that short amount of time we had together...it was just so amazing. and it really kills me that i can't just accept a regular guy who doesn't treat me like crap. i like this guy who is a douche bag and cheats on his girlfriends. hes talking about really personal sexual stuff with me...and it just makes me want him more...and i melt when he calls me hun and stuff...i know its probably really fake...but still...
i don't know what it is about this kid. hes really weird. and he treats me like shit a lot of the time. he's socially backwards and can't get out all the words he tries to say a lot...but i like him. i'm really really attracted to him. it doesn't help that hes the best kisser in the world. AND, he just got his lip pierced. that REALLY turns me on...lol.
idk what to do. i guess i'll just keep talking to him. maybe someday he'll realize that i like him a lot and having a girlfriend, or even just a friend with benefits on campus is much better than having to masturbate all the time because of his internet relationship. its not really love if you can easily cheat on your girlfriend, never tell her, and just continue with life like it never even happened.
i felt smothered by a guy who treated me right. but he is 22...i'm 18. sorry, that bothers me. hes been engaged. i want to mess around, have fun. i realize now i don't want to be completely tied down.
and thats what i like about austin. other than the fact that he cheated on his girlfriend to do this. but we messed around. and i loved it. it was awesome. it was better than anything my ex and i ever did...it might have been the thrill of doing something wrong. and out in the open outside...but yeah. it was cool
idk.
"i don't know why i put myself through all the drama and stupidness that i do."
Me Neither
"i figured out that i really like guys who are a challenge to get..."
Why is that?
" i like this guy who is a douche bag and cheats on his girlfriends."
Is that why you like him?
"i don't know what it is about this kid. hes really weird. and he treats me like sh*t a lot of the time."
Seems rather foolish to me.
It really pisses me off when some random GSBian says guys are the confusing ones. That is such bullsh*t. From what I get out of this blog, you dont even understand yourself. For instance, this guy is simply a horney guy who cheats on his girlfriend with you, and you let him. Why do you let him? I dont know, and neither do you. I think I've read all your recent blogs on this subject, and subjects like it, and I must say: you're gonna find yourself knee deep in sh*t sooner or later and have no way to get out of it. I know this may seem kinda mean to say, but I just cant hold it in anymore. You really outta clean things up now before its too late. Sure, you prolly would be missing out on some more "messing around" (I dont need details), but you would also be avoiding finding yourself in an extreamly dreadfull situation.
Blarg!, September 8th, 2008 at 03:16:11pm