the truth is you could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath i'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt....

sigh....

i'm so stupid.

austin.
just some stupid skinny stoner kid that somehow managed to make it into college.
he has a bunch of internet girlfriends.
his current girlfriend is from california. they are so in love. yet he fools around with me all the time. go figure.

so i was really sad for a day or so. i thought he liked me. cause you know, we mess around all the time, we talked about maybe dating after awhile...but then i learn he has an internet girlfriend. again. he broke up with his first one cause he cheated on her with me. so now i'm confused. cause he now has a second one. i was pretty depressed cause a day or two before i learned about this girl we had messed around. i figured that maybe he all of a sudden decided to date her and i assumed that he wouldn't want to fool around with me anymore. but i was kind of getting over it.


THEN i'm really upset today cause my room mate decided she didn't want to live with me anymore. so he says he has some alcohol. yay.

he brings it over, mikes hard berry. he has one, i have two. we're up in my bed but just sitting side by side. then he starts getting all close to me...then he lays down. so i am a good girl and keep sitting up. but i eventually lay down. the stupid asshole starts kissing me....you know where it goes from there...but we did NOT have sex.

i can't resist him. its really dumb, i know. this kid absolutely kills me. he is the best kisser...and great at everything else too...and his eyes are so blue...ahhh i'm so stupid!

i HATE cheaters. so of course, i don't want to assist a cheater cheating on his girlfriend. but this is the second time! two different girls! i know they are just internet girlfriends, but still! hes killing me. he's emotionally attached to these girls, physically attached to me. i know hes not only physically attached to me, we established that we like each other. but apperently he likes this internet girl more. its really dumb and i know that i would just end up really hurt if i actually dated austin. but it makes me SO mad that he is doing this.

lets see...internet girlfriend lives in california. he lives in OHIO.
i live in ohio. i live about 100 YARDS away from him. on campus. college.

i have no room mate.
oh wait, he can't even get into internet girls room!

i see him every fing day.
when has he seen her? never.

we watch movies together all the time.
they just text all the time.


it doesn't make sense. hes really messed up. but i can't resist him when he kisses me. his eyes, his lips....flsajfklsdjfkalkl

i know i'm dumb and you guys are probably thinking that and planning on telling me that in a comment but theres no need. i just needed to write this all out....