Done With You...
So, it's been about 2 years since I broke up with my boyfriend due to his issues with drugs and alcohol. His habits put me under great stress due to his reckless abandon when it came to taking the harder drugs and I was afraid he would eventually try to drag me down with him. I had already started developing a habit with items such as cocaine and smoking pot became part of a daily routine. And after him overdosing twice, I was sick with worry when I wasn't with him.
But now, it seems he hasn't registered with the fact that I am done with his bull and I can't stand it. He rants to me about how he can't get his fixes as easily since he moved in with his dad. He always talks about starting a new life and "getting away from it all", and yet he goes and takes his next dose of dope. His life is nothing but empty goals and hidden lies. I can never tell if he is telling the truth or just trying to get to me...sometimes I think he says the things he does to test me and see how much it takes until I break down.
Yet, I can't just walk away and ignore him in fear that he'll finally lose it and kill himself. I'm afraid because he's said multiple times that it seems like I'm the only one that truly cares for him...
Sometimes I wish I could just be done with him...sometimes I wish it could be easier to wipe a slate of your past clean and start anew...but sometimes life just isn't that easy
But now, it seems he hasn't registered with the fact that I am done with his bull and I can't stand it. He rants to me about how he can't get his fixes as easily since he moved in with his dad. He always talks about starting a new life and "getting away from it all", and yet he goes and takes his next dose of dope. His life is nothing but empty goals and hidden lies. I can never tell if he is telling the truth or just trying to get to me...sometimes I think he says the things he does to test me and see how much it takes until I break down.
Yet, I can't just walk away and ignore him in fear that he'll finally lose it and kill himself. I'm afraid because he's said multiple times that it seems like I'm the only one that truly cares for him...
Sometimes I wish I could just be done with him...sometimes I wish it could be easier to wipe a slate of your past clean and start anew...but sometimes life just isn't that easy
he has to TRUELY reaslize himself that he needs to get away from the stuff and voluntarily go to rehab. That's the ONLY way.
You can't put your hand into fire for him all the time, you need to take care of your life too. Tell him you are there for him to help him get clean, to support him in rehab, but that him taking drugs scares you and that you dont want to do with it.
Love, October 15th, 2008 at 12:39:13pm
Wow, this sounds like a tough situation for you.
How long were you with him for?
Have you tried sitting down & talking to him about how you feel about it all? and also about his drug and alcohol issues?
I really hope it gets resolved or that something is improved.
I'm here if you ever wanna talk ^^
Trusty Chords., October 13th, 2008 at 10:45:11am