Done With You...

So, it's been about 2 years since I broke up with my boyfriend due to his issues with drugs and alcohol. His habits put me under great stress due to his reckless abandon when it came to taking the harder drugs and I was afraid he would eventually try to drag me down with him. I had already started developing a habit with items such as cocaine and smoking pot became part of a daily routine. And after him overdosing twice, I was sick with worry when I wasn't with him.

But now, it seems he hasn't registered with the fact that I am done with his bull and I can't stand it. He rants to me about how he can't get his fixes as easily since he moved in with his dad. He always talks about starting a new life and "getting away from it all", and yet he goes and takes his next dose of dope. His life is nothing but empty goals and hidden lies. I can never tell if he is telling the truth or just trying to get to me...sometimes I think he says the things he does to test me and see how much it takes until I break down.

Yet, I can't just walk away and ignore him in fear that he'll finally lose it and kill himself. I'm afraid because he's said multiple times that it seems like I'm the only one that truly cares for him...

Sometimes I wish I could just be done with him...sometimes I wish it could be easier to wipe a slate of your past clean and start anew...but sometimes life just isn't that easy

Posted on October 12th, 2008 at 09:39pm

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