over now...
so i'm taking a break from the happy "i heart ryan!" blogs for a bit.
i'm forced now to go back to the storm ordeal.
if you haven't read my other blogs storm was my boyfriend for 2 years, we broke up cause i went to college, he began to really hate me, spread rumors about me at the high school, and came up to me and cussed me out at a band festival.
but now...everything is ok?
ironically, storm's girlfriend has been pushing him to talk to me seriously about what has been going on. but of course he wouldn't. then today, he calls me at freaking 11 at night. just to bitch at me, to tell me to get his sh*t back to him, to tell me that what he has heard from my friends about me makes him sick, so sick he doesn't even want to think about it. then he ends the lovely conversation with "goodbye, b*tch."
so i burst into tears after hanging up the phone, not knowing what i had done wrong now. i resorted to IMing shelby, his girlfriend who does not hate me. i asked what was wrong, she kind of explained it then she got storm to IM me. and we talked. for an hour or two. we talked everything out, i told him the truths, the lies. he apologized so much. i had almost given up on him, given up hope that someday we'd be friends. i still love him as a friend, so very much. i will always love him in some way. but i will never be in love with him again. there really is a difference.
but now we are okay. we talked for awhile about our problems then we talked about our lives. its still kind of awkward...but i'm so glad he is back. stupid, i know. its just...he was my best friend first and foremost. he was there for everything. when my brother ended up beating me around, i called storm. when my parents would ground me for no reason, i'd call storm. when something good would happen, i'd call storm. yes, he was my boyfriend. but he was much more. and yes, we did mess around A LOT...but there was more to it! we'd talk on the phone for two or three hours a night! and sometimes a few hours during the day...for two years. you can't just rip a relationship like that out of your life. i was dying. there was a huge part of me missing, a whole only storm could fill. i'm sure that someone will eventually replace him. but for now, that part of me belongs to storm. we are linked.
i'm not happy right now. i just can't be because my day has been terrible. but i am relieved. a burden has been lifted. and i am looking forward to the future.
maybe one of the best things that has come out of this is seeing what i had, storm, and comparing him to what i want, ryan. the funny thing is...ryan comes out on top. i want to be with ryan...
i'm forced now to go back to the storm ordeal.
if you haven't read my other blogs storm was my boyfriend for 2 years, we broke up cause i went to college, he began to really hate me, spread rumors about me at the high school, and came up to me and cussed me out at a band festival.
but now...everything is ok?
ironically, storm's girlfriend has been pushing him to talk to me seriously about what has been going on. but of course he wouldn't. then today, he calls me at freaking 11 at night. just to bitch at me, to tell me to get his sh*t back to him, to tell me that what he has heard from my friends about me makes him sick, so sick he doesn't even want to think about it. then he ends the lovely conversation with "goodbye, b*tch."
so i burst into tears after hanging up the phone, not knowing what i had done wrong now. i resorted to IMing shelby, his girlfriend who does not hate me. i asked what was wrong, she kind of explained it then she got storm to IM me. and we talked. for an hour or two. we talked everything out, i told him the truths, the lies. he apologized so much. i had almost given up on him, given up hope that someday we'd be friends. i still love him as a friend, so very much. i will always love him in some way. but i will never be in love with him again. there really is a difference.
but now we are okay. we talked for awhile about our problems then we talked about our lives. its still kind of awkward...but i'm so glad he is back. stupid, i know. its just...he was my best friend first and foremost. he was there for everything. when my brother ended up beating me around, i called storm. when my parents would ground me for no reason, i'd call storm. when something good would happen, i'd call storm. yes, he was my boyfriend. but he was much more. and yes, we did mess around A LOT...but there was more to it! we'd talk on the phone for two or three hours a night! and sometimes a few hours during the day...for two years. you can't just rip a relationship like that out of your life. i was dying. there was a huge part of me missing, a whole only storm could fill. i'm sure that someone will eventually replace him. but for now, that part of me belongs to storm. we are linked.
i'm not happy right now. i just can't be because my day has been terrible. but i am relieved. a burden has been lifted. and i am looking forward to the future.
maybe one of the best things that has come out of this is seeing what i had, storm, and comparing him to what i want, ryan. the funny thing is...ryan comes out on top. i want to be with ryan...
