your lack of personality has pushed me away...

you seemed like a dream to me. you still do.

i built you up in my dreams and while awake. imagined your voice, your smile, your laugh.what it would be like to feel your arms around me. what would happen to me if i made you smile.

then i met you. surprisinly, my dream matched my image, almost. your smile was just as sweet, your voice just right, your laugh, nearly the same. and when your arms were around me it felt just like my dreams. you must be a dream. how many hours have i spent with you now? just sixteen, maybe twenty spread out over the four times you've visited me. and you still feel like a dream. you are golden, but you are foggy.

yes, your voice is sweet to my ears. but what are you saying? your words are short, meaningless when i hear them. i will tell you my life story and in return i get a short sentence, if that. why won't you open up? or is there anything to you, are you always that boring...tell me your secrets because i have told you all of mine.

you look like you could be a member of my favorite band, blond hair, clothes striaght out of Pac Sun. but where are your words? where is your voice? we sit in silence yet you keep coming back. you call this fun? is listening to me talk enough to keep you here. maybe it is, but do i want that?

where is your personality. where is the kid that sets things on fire and sleds off his roof that i saw in the videos you showed me. he seems to have a very fun personality...but you do not show that, are you still him? you say you are too old for that now, but that was only one year ago. are you too old to be exciting? when you turned 21 did you become boring.

i liked you. i thought. but i liked how you were on the internet, calling me hun and babe. but now you don't even act so sweet on the internet, you have become just as boring as in person. i've run out of things to tell you. i think you have began to be bored of me but how can i entertain you when we have nothing to talk about? you are very sweet...but i will never kiss you. i know that this is ending much too soon, but how long should i hold on? we are just friends, but it seems like we can't even be that anymore. you are so attractive and sweet and i have always wondered why twenty other girls aren't dying to be with you like i was. but its like you freeze up. you seem to be popular with your guy friends, but not with girls. you are 21 years old, shouldn't you be over your fear of girls by now? you told me you don't even ask girls out anymore, you wait till they ask you out. and you never text a girl first or call a girl first. i bet you lose more than half the girls you like because of this.

if you like me anymore i can not tell. i asked you once, if you never make the first move how will a girl know if you like them? your answer was "i'm screwed". and i think you are. because i am giving up. i can not be with someone who lacks personality, freezes up his emotions, won't tell me a thing about himself, and won't even make the first move. i know there was something there but now it has faded. between us is the empty void where your thoughts are not put into words.

you must have liked me, even if just as a friend. we hung out for the first time you liked it so much that we hung out the very next day. we hung out four times in one week. but now i'm afraid this week will be different. idk if i will hang out with you anymore, you've lost me...