changed lover..
k so don't comment if you are going to tell me i shouldn't like guys or whatever everyone is trying to tell me.
if you don't read my blogs storm is my ex who i dated for two years then broke up for pretty much no reason right after i moved in to college. this blog for once is about him, not ryan the the other guy i talk about who i have decided i won't talk to anymore but anyway...i'm about to share some feelings that are wrong and are only going to be the cause of some heartbreak but thats ok cause i'm becoming more and more numb with every time this happens.
me and storm talk a lot now. well on the weekdays, that is. because on the weekdays his gf goes psycho and they fight. but on the weekends, she is fine and they have sex so storm is happy with her. he thinks he loves her. but i'm seeing right through this, i see how he loves SEX. not her. she breaks his heart daily during the week and i know the only reason they are in "love" is because they are having sex. i know storm too well and i know how much he used to "love" me after we would get done fooling around.
he thinks i'm the only one making poor choices.
talking to him has been very strange. and unhealthy. we talk for hours every night (during the week of course...). and it usually consists of me helping him with his problems and him telling me that i'm making the wrong choices in life and if i didn't break up with him i wouldn't be doing the wrong things. we don't fight. we just talk. it often has a very sad tone to it. but sometimes we talk about other things like anime and manga and stupid things like that. but i know so much about storm's current relationship its sickening. sickening because hes going to crash and burn again. sickening because his girlfriend has always been emotionally unstable and if he leaves her she will kill herself, she has told him this many times. when they fight she drinks and tries to overdose on tylenol and ibuprofen. storm never drinks. storm doesn't do drugs. hes a good kid, i'm afraid that one of these days she will tear him apart. they are so incompatible its not even funny. everything about her is something storm hates but he'd never say that. except for sex. he never had sex with me so he jumps on the first girl who will actually let him. i'm also afraid that he's going to get an std. shelby has slept with so many people that she doesn't remember half of them. she just gets drunk and has sex. so far from the person storm is and the people storm hangs out with...shelby tears storm apart because she flirts with her ex right in front of him and gets angry if storm gets angry about it. and yet she is jealous of me just because storm talks to me over the internet. she controls him with threats of suicide and alcohol and drugs. i'm watching storm deteriorate and starting to regret breaking up with him. i know i wouldn't be who i am today if i didn't break up with him, though. and i like who i am. i just hate what storm is becoming and i know on some level i will always love storm. the second we started talking again it was like he never hated me. he was full of regret for spreading the rumors. and storm has even said that he can talk to me better than any other person, he can't even talk to shelby hardly at all. it absolutely kills me to see him with her, any other girl would be fine, just not her. shes killing him. hes not happy like he was with me, she has even said that in blogs she wrote on myspace. hes not happy cause she is tearing him apart, bringing him down. storm is a depressed person. i'm not being arrogant but i made him a better person, i made him happy, i changed him. his family even told me that. but now he is who he was before me, angry, depressed, hopeless. i don't think i could ever get back with him even if he broke up with shelby and asked me back.
he is too different.
i'd never touch him after she has.
he has been tainted, changed.
the only thing that is killing me is i can't do a d*mn thing about it.
if you don't read my blogs storm is my ex who i dated for two years then broke up for pretty much no reason right after i moved in to college. this blog for once is about him, not ryan the the other guy i talk about who i have decided i won't talk to anymore but anyway...i'm about to share some feelings that are wrong and are only going to be the cause of some heartbreak but thats ok cause i'm becoming more and more numb with every time this happens.
me and storm talk a lot now. well on the weekdays, that is. because on the weekdays his gf goes psycho and they fight. but on the weekends, she is fine and they have sex so storm is happy with her. he thinks he loves her. but i'm seeing right through this, i see how he loves SEX. not her. she breaks his heart daily during the week and i know the only reason they are in "love" is because they are having sex. i know storm too well and i know how much he used to "love" me after we would get done fooling around.
he thinks i'm the only one making poor choices.
talking to him has been very strange. and unhealthy. we talk for hours every night (during the week of course...). and it usually consists of me helping him with his problems and him telling me that i'm making the wrong choices in life and if i didn't break up with him i wouldn't be doing the wrong things. we don't fight. we just talk. it often has a very sad tone to it. but sometimes we talk about other things like anime and manga and stupid things like that. but i know so much about storm's current relationship its sickening. sickening because hes going to crash and burn again. sickening because his girlfriend has always been emotionally unstable and if he leaves her she will kill herself, she has told him this many times. when they fight she drinks and tries to overdose on tylenol and ibuprofen. storm never drinks. storm doesn't do drugs. hes a good kid, i'm afraid that one of these days she will tear him apart. they are so incompatible its not even funny. everything about her is something storm hates but he'd never say that. except for sex. he never had sex with me so he jumps on the first girl who will actually let him. i'm also afraid that he's going to get an std. shelby has slept with so many people that she doesn't remember half of them. she just gets drunk and has sex. so far from the person storm is and the people storm hangs out with...shelby tears storm apart because she flirts with her ex right in front of him and gets angry if storm gets angry about it. and yet she is jealous of me just because storm talks to me over the internet. she controls him with threats of suicide and alcohol and drugs. i'm watching storm deteriorate and starting to regret breaking up with him. i know i wouldn't be who i am today if i didn't break up with him, though. and i like who i am. i just hate what storm is becoming and i know on some level i will always love storm. the second we started talking again it was like he never hated me. he was full of regret for spreading the rumors. and storm has even said that he can talk to me better than any other person, he can't even talk to shelby hardly at all. it absolutely kills me to see him with her, any other girl would be fine, just not her. shes killing him. hes not happy like he was with me, she has even said that in blogs she wrote on myspace. hes not happy cause she is tearing him apart, bringing him down. storm is a depressed person. i'm not being arrogant but i made him a better person, i made him happy, i changed him. his family even told me that. but now he is who he was before me, angry, depressed, hopeless. i don't think i could ever get back with him even if he broke up with shelby and asked me back.
he is too different.
i'd never touch him after she has.
he has been tainted, changed.
the only thing that is killing me is i can't do a d*mn thing about it.
i know he loves her. and that is his greatest downfall. more has happened between them and he won't give up, even when she tells him to go when it gets to hard. his mental health is greatly suffering, hes very depressed, angry even. i'm worried for him. but if he loves her, how could i possibly interfere? its not my buisness at all, and i want him to be happy. just not seeing it in his future.
suburban.zombie, October 30th, 2008 at 02:02:56am
It seems like he only wants it for the sex, but then again, is Strom really that shallow?
Maybe he seems something with her that he doesn't feel with other girls. Maybe its something that can't be ruined by her fits of rage and suicide threats. Or maybe he's just too insecure and doens't think he can find another girl. Maybe he's afraid of being alone and would rather be unhappy with someone, then being unhappy with no one. Maybe he needs that kind of affection, maybe the sex isn't just a fling, but maybe the physical contact and heat shared between him and her are better then nothing. Maybe he's eager for love, to be loved.
I do believe that you can be unhappy with someone, and sitll love them.
Jessie.Tastic!, October 27th, 2008 at 12:06:07am
i know. i see that but he doesn't. but you are right, if i keep trying to help then he's going to just resist. i guess he'll have to figure it out himself.
suburban.zombie, October 26th, 2008 at 10:23:20pm
Well I'm about to seem like a real a$, but....what else is new?
They've gotta go their seprate ways and break up. If anyone tries to help them along with that, they would only resist and the problems would get worse. Even if this girl threatens suside......it just seems like the only option to me.
Blarg!, October 26th, 2008 at 07:38:00pm