honestly these teeth won't let you go...
ugh i'm pissed. my last blog was deleted.
so i was writing about ryan and how things are officially over. i didn't tell him i liked him. i just figured out that he liked someone else. and i'm ok with that. things haven't been working out for us, they never have. its hard to even be his friend. he just doesn't talk. its confusing because it seems like he just doesn't enjoy talking to me. yet, he always wants to hang out and stuff. i keep trying to figure out why. and i think maybe i'm just intimidating to him.
first of all, i'm very weird. and i have a strong personality for lack of better words. i'm very talkative and i like to talk about everything and anything. i'm pretty hyper. idk, i'm indescribable. lol. its going to be really hard to find anyone who will put up with me...i was lucky to find storm. so me+ quiet person usually doesn't mix well. cept for me and my friend arianne. she is very quiet. we agreed one day that we are such good friends because i talk a lot and she doesn't talk much. lol. but she talks a lot more to me than anyone else at school. well ANYWAY, another thing about me and ryan is our lives and our goals are not similar AT ALL. and he might be intimidated by that also. he works at KFC and lives with his mom. hes 21. he has his associates degree...in criminal justice...but hes not doing anything with it. i'm a freshman in college. i am paying for it by myself, i pay for my own food by myself, i pay for my own clothes by myself. i work. i'm in the honors program. i'm on my way to getting my BA and then i'm going straight to getting my masters. then i might even go on and get my PhD...thats my goals. and hes at KFC. his goal- play call of duty 4 every second hes not at work.
even if he did like me, we would never work. we're too different. our goals are different. and he doesn't talk and i do. lol.
his new girl--she is more his age. and more his rank of people...she is a single mom. has a 3 month old. ryan is so immature, idk how he's going to handle that if they start dating...but at least they are both...uhh...uneducated? idk. lol.
they are from "the dirty Burg"..and are really living up to their reputation. ryan is a nice guy...and i hate to say this...but he can't do much better.
now i'm not saying i'd never date a guy that wasn't all smart and stuff like me. in fact, storm gets horrible grades, so horrible he failed last year. but me and storm worked so well because we both THINK. storm and i think about things, and we think about them a lot. storm isn't stupid, he just refuses to apply himself. and he might not go to college. he might not get anywhere, who knows he could end up working at KFC (i think he thinks hes better than that though). but it doesn't matter because he is a thinker. he plays video games a lot just like ryan does. but at least storm has a brain...
i have missed storm so much. but now that we are talking again, everything in my life doesn't really matter because i know i can just tell storm and it will be better. storm is my best friend. is that wrong? my ex being my best friend...well i'm his best friend too....
he has a girlfriend. and i'm not jealous in the least, i dont' like storm like that anymore. i love storm a wholllleeee lot but just as a friend. but i love him more than any of my other friends. its hard not to. we talk about everything. its sad because when we were dating, of course, we knew each other better than anyone. we still do. he talks more to me than shelby. not more as in length wise, more as in with his most personal things. of course, she is the cause of all his problems so it would be hard to talk to her about them.
for the first time since we broke up we are going to hang out. on sunday. its going to be awesome. imagine not being able to talk to your best friend in person...and then finally getting to. shelby is so jealous of me. she is jealous if he even says my name. even if he is making fun of me, she gets jealous. she is such a hypocrite. this is a quote from storm-
"All of Shelby's friends have had their fingers in her".
meaning all of her friends are her exes or people she has messed around with.
the sad part is, its completely true.
yet she gets jealous if storm even mentions me.
idk what to do. i don't want to give up my best friend. and i actually want his gf to break up with him. sounds like i like him, right? well i really don't. you'd understand if you saw what this girl has done to him. completely changed him, tore him apart. i just want whats best for him...
but i sometimes think there is no one else in the world who will ever understand me like storm does. and that scares me so f*cking much.
so i was writing about ryan and how things are officially over. i didn't tell him i liked him. i just figured out that he liked someone else. and i'm ok with that. things haven't been working out for us, they never have. its hard to even be his friend. he just doesn't talk. its confusing because it seems like he just doesn't enjoy talking to me. yet, he always wants to hang out and stuff. i keep trying to figure out why. and i think maybe i'm just intimidating to him.
first of all, i'm very weird. and i have a strong personality for lack of better words. i'm very talkative and i like to talk about everything and anything. i'm pretty hyper. idk, i'm indescribable. lol. its going to be really hard to find anyone who will put up with me...i was lucky to find storm. so me+ quiet person usually doesn't mix well. cept for me and my friend arianne. she is very quiet. we agreed one day that we are such good friends because i talk a lot and she doesn't talk much. lol. but she talks a lot more to me than anyone else at school. well ANYWAY, another thing about me and ryan is our lives and our goals are not similar AT ALL. and he might be intimidated by that also. he works at KFC and lives with his mom. hes 21. he has his associates degree...in criminal justice...but hes not doing anything with it. i'm a freshman in college. i am paying for it by myself, i pay for my own food by myself, i pay for my own clothes by myself. i work. i'm in the honors program. i'm on my way to getting my BA and then i'm going straight to getting my masters. then i might even go on and get my PhD...thats my goals. and hes at KFC. his goal- play call of duty 4 every second hes not at work.
even if he did like me, we would never work. we're too different. our goals are different. and he doesn't talk and i do. lol.
his new girl--she is more his age. and more his rank of people...she is a single mom. has a 3 month old. ryan is so immature, idk how he's going to handle that if they start dating...but at least they are both...uhh...uneducated? idk. lol.
they are from "the dirty Burg"..and are really living up to their reputation. ryan is a nice guy...and i hate to say this...but he can't do much better.
now i'm not saying i'd never date a guy that wasn't all smart and stuff like me. in fact, storm gets horrible grades, so horrible he failed last year. but me and storm worked so well because we both THINK. storm and i think about things, and we think about them a lot. storm isn't stupid, he just refuses to apply himself. and he might not go to college. he might not get anywhere, who knows he could end up working at KFC (i think he thinks hes better than that though). but it doesn't matter because he is a thinker. he plays video games a lot just like ryan does. but at least storm has a brain...
i have missed storm so much. but now that we are talking again, everything in my life doesn't really matter because i know i can just tell storm and it will be better. storm is my best friend. is that wrong? my ex being my best friend...well i'm his best friend too....
he has a girlfriend. and i'm not jealous in the least, i dont' like storm like that anymore. i love storm a wholllleeee lot but just as a friend. but i love him more than any of my other friends. its hard not to. we talk about everything. its sad because when we were dating, of course, we knew each other better than anyone. we still do. he talks more to me than shelby. not more as in length wise, more as in with his most personal things. of course, she is the cause of all his problems so it would be hard to talk to her about them.
for the first time since we broke up we are going to hang out. on sunday. its going to be awesome. imagine not being able to talk to your best friend in person...and then finally getting to. shelby is so jealous of me. she is jealous if he even says my name. even if he is making fun of me, she gets jealous. she is such a hypocrite. this is a quote from storm-
"All of Shelby's friends have had their fingers in her".
meaning all of her friends are her exes or people she has messed around with.
the sad part is, its completely true.
yet she gets jealous if storm even mentions me.
idk what to do. i don't want to give up my best friend. and i actually want his gf to break up with him. sounds like i like him, right? well i really don't. you'd understand if you saw what this girl has done to him. completely changed him, tore him apart. i just want whats best for him...
but i sometimes think there is no one else in the world who will ever understand me like storm does. and that scares me so f*cking much.
