59%

That is my grade 10 math mark at midterm. Fifty nine percent.

My other marks:
English: 79
Phys. Ed.: 88
History: 87

By looking at those, you might deduce that I'm pretty smart. I'd say that I am, if I do the schoolwork. Almost everything in every class comes easily. I understand all my assignments, I do them (most of the time), and I get a pretty high mark on them. Not in math. Ohh no, no sir. I bust my butt to get that 59.

Last year, in grade 9, I had an amazing math teacher. Mr. Pittman made math fun for me. I like it.. that is, when I actually understand it. He always made sure I got it. Not once did I need to stay after class and get extra help. I just didn't need it. At the end of the semester I passed the class with a 73%. This year, grade 10, I have a mediocre at best teacher. Mr. Holbrough just doesn't convey the lesson in a way that I understand. I try, but I give up. I am not accustomed to not "getting" something. I grow so frustrated that I don't want to do the work any more. I spend my lunch hours either in Mr. Pittman's classroom getting help or in the library struggling away at my math homework.

As I said, I'm not used to not understanding anything. It scares me. If you were to ask me about something like, "What was the aim of the Schlieffen Plan?" I would tell you that it was a plan made by the Germans. They were to go through neutral Belgium then on to Paris. The Germans would take Paris, then loop around to Russia. They would go back and invade Russia because they thought the Russians wouldn't have enough time to muster their troops and it would be extremely easy. All this would take roughly six weeks to complete. I just pulled that out of my brain. I learned that in September in History. I am really good at history and sometimes I even correct my history teacher. The only time I ever correct Mr. Holbrough is when he spells something wrong on the board.

Lets go back in time to last night. I got out my midterm report card and I apprehensively show it to Mom. "Good in English... Good in Phys Ed.. Good in History.. Oh. Oh oh oh ohhhh. Roslynn. This math mark. It's not good enough. We'll need to get you to see Miss Diane. We'll get that math mark up. It needs to go up. " she says. I hate that I need to see a tutor. I'm not used to being "bad" at something. About a week ago my alarm went off an hour early and I cried for that entire hour because I was worried about my math mark. I don't want to let my parents down. I hate it.

When people find out what my math mark is they say "Oh, I thought you were smart!". You have no idea how much that hurts inside. So did I, I think. So did I.