We're fucked up, but we're not the same.
I deleted my last blog, mostly because it was just some shit I typed out of anger.
But I'm starting to realise how opposite me and my best friend are. It's really fucked up.
We're almost the exact opposites. I could go on to explain how and give examples, but I don't think there's enough room on the whole Internet to post that much.
Anyways, I thought that it was all just in my head. What, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. You see, for those of you who read my last few blogs, you can just skip these sentences, but for those of you who didn't, keep reading. You see, my best friend recently found out that I'm bi, and I thought that she was okay with it. But apparently she's not. I thought that it was all in my head, how it seemed like she didn't want to talk to me as much since she found out. But it wasn't.
I was just talking on the phone with my other friend, SUPERNINJA, (all caps, one word) and we were talking about this email going around that started with a girl in my school. The "Are you emo quiz." One of the questions is "Green Day is my favorite band" and another is "[my name] is your best friend," because apparently to them I'm emo.
Well, we started talking about the other rumors that people have started about me, and one of them was that I am a lesbian. It's not because it's obvious that I like girls, because I try really hard to hide that, and it usually works because most of the girls in my school are my mortal enemies. No, it's because, being the punk rocker I am, I'm a sort of "tomboy" in their eyes.
In reality, my friends and I are just more mature than most girls in our school, to the point where we can be friends with a guy, no blow jobs required. But that, equipped with the "tomboy" thing and the fact that me and my friend Flynn hang out so much, has led them to believe that I and my friend are in fact lesbians and going out. Once again, a reality check: Even if I was interested in Flynn, it wouldn't matter because to be honest I've seen rulers that weren't as straight as her. (no joke, I really have)
Anyways, I told SUPERNINJA that and the topic switched to how Flynn is not only straight, and a homophobic. She stopped talking to Kelly as soon as everyone found out that Kelly was bi. So I ask SUPERNINJA if she thought Flynn would stop talking to me if I were bi, which I am, and Flynn knows, but nobody else does. She said no, but that it would be the most awkward thing in the world for her.
I started thinking then, about how awkward it really probably is for her. She said that she was fine with it, but I know that she really isn't. Now I feel terrible, because I made her feel uncomfortable and such.
Well, at least now I've been assured that if anyone in school found out, there would only be a few more nasty rumors, which I'm used to anyways.
Still keeping it to myself, though. And I still feel bad that Flynn knowing made her feel uncomfortable, because I know that it's true.
But I'm starting to realise how opposite me and my best friend are. It's really fucked up.
We're almost the exact opposites. I could go on to explain how and give examples, but I don't think there's enough room on the whole Internet to post that much.
Anyways, I thought that it was all just in my head. What, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. You see, for those of you who read my last few blogs, you can just skip these sentences, but for those of you who didn't, keep reading. You see, my best friend recently found out that I'm bi, and I thought that she was okay with it. But apparently she's not. I thought that it was all in my head, how it seemed like she didn't want to talk to me as much since she found out. But it wasn't.
I was just talking on the phone with my other friend, SUPERNINJA, (all caps, one word) and we were talking about this email going around that started with a girl in my school. The "Are you emo quiz." One of the questions is "Green Day is my favorite band" and another is "[my name] is your best friend," because apparently to them I'm emo.
Well, we started talking about the other rumors that people have started about me, and one of them was that I am a lesbian. It's not because it's obvious that I like girls, because I try really hard to hide that, and it usually works because most of the girls in my school are my mortal enemies. No, it's because, being the punk rocker I am, I'm a sort of "tomboy" in their eyes.
In reality, my friends and I are just more mature than most girls in our school, to the point where we can be friends with a guy, no blow jobs required. But that, equipped with the "tomboy" thing and the fact that me and my friend Flynn hang out so much, has led them to believe that I and my friend are in fact lesbians and going out. Once again, a reality check: Even if I was interested in Flynn, it wouldn't matter because to be honest I've seen rulers that weren't as straight as her. (no joke, I really have)
Anyways, I told SUPERNINJA that and the topic switched to how Flynn is not only straight, and a homophobic. She stopped talking to Kelly as soon as everyone found out that Kelly was bi. So I ask SUPERNINJA if she thought Flynn would stop talking to me if I were bi, which I am, and Flynn knows, but nobody else does. She said no, but that it would be the most awkward thing in the world for her.
I started thinking then, about how awkward it really probably is for her. She said that she was fine with it, but I know that she really isn't. Now I feel terrible, because I made her feel uncomfortable and such.
Well, at least now I've been assured that if anyone in school found out, there would only be a few more nasty rumors, which I'm used to anyways.
Still keeping it to myself, though. And I still feel bad that Flynn knowing made her feel uncomfortable, because I know that it's true.
