need some advice, please--kinda personal...well really personal...but seirous.

so i'm in college.
and i haven't dated one person yet...but i've messed around with three. (no sex, just messing around...) two of them i messed around with a lot over a period of a few months each. so i haven't really been alone.

i'm not really wanting to seriously date, i'm tired of being hurt. but i wouldn't mind just casually dating someone. even that is kinda pushing it, though.

i'm not planning on having sex with someone i'm not dating. thats just dumb. but i'm learning that a lot of older guys want a girl with experience.

the last guy i was with, chris, i really really liked. we messed around and stuff..and he said he liked me...and wanted to date me...but apparently he doesn't now...something weird happened with us. i spent the night at his apartment and we ended up messing around. then in the morning we had a talk about it never happening again. there is a billion reasons not to date. most importantly, he's technically still married and he has a two year old son. he's a senior in college and works two full time jobs on top of his divorce. oh and his almost exwife is pregnant. its probably not his, but if it is he will have a shitload to do with that. one thing he said kinda bothered me. he said that i want to date someone who hasn't had sex. he's had sex a lot. obviously. and with lots of different people. so that hurts me cause i really don't care about that...

anyways, i was talking to my friend dallas, kinda about this but kinda not. dallas is 24. i'm 18. but he's a freshman at my college...that doesn't mean he acts like one, though. he's a pretty good friend but has a few major down flaws...his temper is one, smoking pot is another, and he doesn't date, only messes around. so he brings up the opinion that guys don't like to date virgins, without me even saying anything about what chris said. he proposed that i have sex with a close friend to get experience (obviously meaning him...). i said ehh don't think thats a good idea, he says i should just mess around with him then. now he's tried this before. and i've said no. and he got mad and said fine i hope you don't think of it later cause it will be too late. but i knew he'd jump on me once he knew chris was gone. this kind of bothers me. i do think dallas is attractive...but sometimes he can be a real jerk. and i know he won't date me. the question is, should i mess around with him?

the pros
uh, sexual fulfillment, obviously.
he says that we can hang out and do fun stuff too (pretty much dating without the commitment)
something to do while i'm single rather than just being alone
it won't hurt as much when its over because i will try my best to stay uncommited

the cons
well not very moral, of course
i could possibly end up getting attached unintentionally
i used to like dallas which would make it easier to get attached
dallas can be a jerk and would probably get mad at me at times
my friends all hate dallas because he is often a jerk
my room mate actually dated dallas and it ended rather badly

i don't know what to do. i am not over chris yet and dallas is pressuring me all ready. he's insensitive to the fact that i REALLY liked chris, i dont' think he understands the concept because he never dates girls anymore. i don't want my life to be like his, only messing around for the sexual stuff and never falling in love.

but i also don't want to be alone and i think like a guy the majority of the time and have come to the conclusion that i can't really control that.

i am christian, but i believe that since all that stuff is pleasurable its not wrong. its a natural part of life, not a sin.

i will not have sex with dallas no matter how much he wants me to have sex with him

i am safe about this kind of stuff.


i know this blog sounds really bad and some of you won't see why i'm even having trouble with this. a lot of you are too young to really understand, no offense. but i was hoping that there was someone on here that DID know what i'm going through and might have a bit of advice for me. if so, thank so much.