I'm so confused.

So here's a weird situation. About nine months ago this kid named Austin completely changed my life forever. I went from only believing in being physical within a relationship to being open to friends with benefits when I met him and things moved along very quick within the first few hours of knowing each other. We decided to be be FWB...and then I had feelings for him...and he went behind my back and had multiple gfs on the internet during the time we were "together" even though I told him nothing would happen between us if he was in a relationship. And he kept telling me he liked me and wanted to date me...and pretty much lied and manipulated me for a month or so. He was the first guy other than my ex who i dated for 2 years that I messed around with and he was the first of several FWBs. I used to see him as the guy who f*cked up my life. We got into a huge fight in the middle of dinner one day, in the cafeteria, and he stopped talking to me. So anyway, nine months later he randomly begins talking to me again. Of course I was very wary of this, he was proven to be a liar and a cheater and a user...and we didn't exactly end on a good note. But he wanted to put everything behind us, start over fresh. This time there would be no bullshit, no lying, just a really good friendship. Of course I gave him a shot cause I'm nice like that. At first he didn't seem to change one bit. He had a girlfriend and he tried texting me sexual things. I called him out on it and he finally stopped. He apologized and pretty much begged for me to give him a chance, he really wanted to be friends. So to my surprise he cuts the BS sweet talking and sexual innuendos and starts treating me like a good friend. This lasts for a few days until his girlfriend breaks up with him. After discussing a lot of things he starts it back up again, but not nearly as bad.

To be honest, he seems to have changed and I genuinely like him. As a friend and I'm beginning to like him as more than a friend. That's what is scaring me. I don't want him to hurt me, he's the first guy I let into my life after Storm and he crushed me. There's been others since then, but Austin was the first. We are so much more open now, though. When he had his gf he actually talked to me about her, something he never did when he was lying and cheating, of course. He realizes now that what he posts on Myspace and Myyearbook I can see so he can't get another girlfriend without me knowing.

Today we hung out for the first time since I saw him nine months ago. It was so much different than all the other times we hung out. No kissing or anything like that, just talking. Normal conversation. It was really great. I am feeling really good about him now. At the very least, I have a good friend. We can talk about anything and everything and there is no problem, something I can't do with most people. But this situation is scaring me more and more. He is just about perfect for me. One of my requirements for a relationship is the ability to have intellectual conversations and be able to converse about pretty much anything, immature, mature, dumb, smart, anything. And Austin fits this requirement. He is the only one since Storm who could do this. And I can tell him anything and he'll listen without passing judgment. He is very open with me, as well (more open than last time at least)

We talked about maybe dating in the future. Something that occurred last time too...but this time I understood why it had to be in the future. The day we talked about it was the day his gf broke up with him. We have been texting nonstop since last week, throughout their entire relationship. It scares me, though, some of the things he says...Like he doesn't want to know about what a girl he really likes did with other guys...he's asked me to describe situations in detail of what I've done with another guy. He likes girls who haven't really messed around that much...well we did pretty much everything but sex when we were together in August, so he knows I'm experienced in that. He has actually told me he likes me and would consider dating me in the future...but still...he has told me this many times before yet I was never good enough. He seems so much different this time around...but I am still having trust issues. I want to be happy so bad, and every time I get a text message from him I smile. He says the sweetest things. He has truly brought me out a depression that was started by Ryan.

Oh but on top of everything I'm moving three hours away on Saturday and I'll live there for the entire summer. I won't get to see Austin at all but he's promised that we will talk every single day. I don't know what this is going to do to me =[

I wish life wasn't so confusing.