I Wrote This For You

“I’ve never had two kids in the same class that have the potential to change the world like you two.”

I have the potential to change the world, but all I can wonder is “when?” and “how?” I have no idea how I could change the world, ever. I think so lowly of myself that I don’t see it in me. But other people do. People see in me what I would never imagine about myself. When people look at me, they see strength, when I look at me, all I see is a girl who could have done better. When people look at me, they see someone to be proud of. Someone who’s made a difference. But honestly, I can’t say that I’ve made a difference in a life, but others would be glad to disagree with me.

“You deserve everything and everything else.”
No, I don’t. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t even deserve people to say something like that about me. But yet there’s something about me that people can say that. There’s something about me that people talk to me. There’s something about me that has people convinced that I deserve good things. Maybe I do, maybe I just can’t see it. Maybe I’ll get it. Maybe I need to stop waiting, and start going after what I deserve. Maybe I need to stop saying “maybe” and start saying “for sure.” Who knows? Apparently everyone but me.
A certain person in my life has recently made me realise that I can do so much better, that I deserve so much better, and that I’m worth so much more. I don’t believe in God, because I believe in myself. I’ve believed in myself enough to know that I can save myself. Maybe I can save someone else. Maybe I really CAN be something, I can be a saviour. I know that I’ve at least impacted his life, and knowing that makes me realise that maybe I really can do something for other people. So instead of hating myself, I can help people. Because I know that I can do that now. He’s made me remember why I changed. He’s made me remember why I don’t talk to certain people anymore. Most of all, He’s made me remember that even if I have no one else on my side, I’m always going to have him, and that’s good enough for me.

From now on I want to at least try, try to live. Try to help people out. Try to be a better Stephanie. I want to try to be everything I can be.

I really just want to try to change the world.
Posted on July 31st, 2009 at 03:14am


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