viva la vida

I want to write something about my life. Something poetic, stunning, and true. But I am here still thinking, imagining my masterpiece, the one still stuck in my mind waiting to materialize in the form of black letters on a white screen. I imagine the people reading it, loving it. The comments of praise. Still I cannot make out the words, I am stuck here imagining, my mind is spilling out the first thing i think of, my fingers flying across the keyboard, clearly not the masterpiece I intended...

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I'm in a Coldplay mood- dreamy and distant, soft and heavy. My thoughts are dreamy with a sense of sharp clarity. The images are sharp but the edges are blurred. I feel like closing my eyes and just thinking for hours. But today there are a few subjects on the top of my mind. Friendship, love, and the future. All three intertwine, of course.

I'm home from Cedar Point and I'm waking up from a dream. Going away for the summer was good for me, yet bad for me. Although I had to work, Cedar Point was heaven on earth. Or something close to it. I was living at a top vacation destination, a resort. I made four of the best friends you could ask for. I saved up nearly $1,000. And then I woke up. I'm back in Urbana realizing in one week I'm going to have to work harder than ever to pick my life back up. School is going to be hard. But I want to leave this place. Move far far away. If I don't get my grades up I can't transfer.

As for love, I think I am incapable of it. There's only one person I want and I will never get him.

I can't even think of what else to say right now...so I will be back later to finish. I just want to shut my eyes and get lost in Coldplay....